There were 7,778 spoof news stories published in 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Nina Dobrev will quit Vampire Diaries if she has to kiss Ian Somerhalder again: Wait, what?
Actress Nina Dobrev has threatened to quit the CW hit show, The Vampire Diaries, if she has to shoot another kissing scene with Ian Somerhalder. Despite all the online rumors that claim Nina and Ian are dating, Nina Dobrev set the record straight to...
Read full storyiPhone 5 features leaked
The much anticipated iPhone 5 has to be special, with the rest of the smart phone market catching up to the Apple flagship and in some cases overtaking it. "We've been examining Apple patents," said Mac Buck, editor of App World! magazine. "For a...
Read full story$15 Trillion Super Bowl Bet Would Wipe Out The National Debt
Indianapolis -- Congress is gambling that a determined group of Patriots can again save the United States from collapse. The lawmakers are betting $15 trillion that the New England Patriots will defeat the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLVI. "If N...
Read full storyIt's Official! X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz To Tour With Selena Gomez And Demi Lovato
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for Selena Gomez has just announced an upcoming concert tour that will feature Gomez, Demi Lovato, and two of this year's youngest X-Factor contestants Rachel Crow, 13, and Drew Ryniewicz, 14. The 37-city tour is being p...
Read full story'Reverse Bonus Checks' Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts
New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank accounts, rather than raising it. "The...
Read full storySome Newly Approved State License Plate Slogans
The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just granted ten states permission to change their vehicular license plate slogans for 2013. The executive director of TUSCOSLPSA Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi stated that they had to reject the slogans of two states and ask that they submit a secondary entry. The commission rejected Arizona's slogan "The Non-Hola Stat...
Read full storyWhy In The World Did "Hell On Wheels" Kill Off One Of Its Most Popular Characters?
HOLLYWOOD - Reports are that AMC has received tons of letters, emails, text messages, tweets, and phone calls asking what in the world the writers of the hit western Hell On Wheels were thinking when they killed off one of the shows most well-liked a...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Shocker: He Finds A Baby Name Book In Girlfriend Stacy Keibler's Purse
LOS ANGELES - George Clooney, 51, and Stacy Keibler, 32, have now been an item for ten months. Clooney recently met with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey. Clooney confided in de Gallo t...
Read full storyTeen sentenced to ten years in church chooses Church of Satan
MUSKOGEE, Oklahoma (ABSNN) - When Oklahoma District Judge Mike Norman sentenced a teenaged youth who caused his friend's death in a car crash to church for ten years, he likely thought the boy would choose an evangelical church like the Nazarenes or...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Explains Her Upskirt Photos
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie was in New York City on a promotional tour for her brand new line of perfume named Scent of Jolie. As the actress was getting out of a cab in downtown Manhattan several members of the Big Apple paparazzi managed to s...
Read full storyA List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman
David Letterman has stated that the greatest late night talk show host of all time was Johnny Carson. He pointed out that Johnny is without a doubt the best even though Jay "The Chinmaster" Leno thinks that he is. David has gone on record as saying that Leno and him both learned 90 percent of what they know about being late night TV talk show hosts from the great Johnny Carson. He then adde...
Read full storyThe List of Ten Little Known Facts About Taylor Swift
The 22-year-old country singer Taylor Alison Swift was born in Reading, Pennsylvania and oddly enough she has said that in school her favorite subject was reading. Over the years there has been widespread speculation as to who Taylor Swift was named after. Some news publications and agencies have stated that she was named after Elizabeth Taylor. Others have said that she was named after come...
Read full storySuper Bowl Controversy: National Anthem Will Be Replaced with a Dodge Ad
Indianapolis -- Football fans watching Super Bowl XLVI can remain seated during the pregame ceremonies this year, because the singing of The Star-Spangled Banner will be preempted by a television commercial for Dodge trucks. "At $7 million a minut...
Read full storyNew Greek Threat: More Credit for Us Or No More Gyros for You
Athens -- Facing a debt burden that could enslave its citizens for decades to come, Greece has gone on the offensive, declaring it will halt the production of gyros worldwide if it's not given a larger line of credit. "Go ahead and laugh, but I ca...
Read full storyThe List of Ten Television Reality Shows That Were Rejected For 2012
HOLLYWOOD - The Television Coalition For Reality Show Development has just announced ten shows that have been rejected for 2012. Armstrong Jimmy Pennypocket senior executive director in charge of TTCFRSD, or TTC as it is known for short, stated that every year they are literally sent hundreds of reality show videos that producers hope get picked up. Pennypocket noted that usually TTC is righ...
Read full storyAnn Coulter shows her tits on Fox News...no one notices!
FOX NEWS NATION - Republican pin up girl, Ann Coulter, flashed her breastesesses (ahem) on the Fox News Sunday program. The panel of six well known conservative pundits were talking about Obama's embassy staff's cowardly apologies to the A-rab terr...
Read full storyA List of 10 Books That Were Rejected By Motion Picture Studios
The majority of motion pictures start off as books. When Margaret Mitchell wrote her Civil War classic Gone With The Wind, she had no idea that Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh would be uttering the words that she wrote in their 1936, War Between The States epic movie Gone With The Wind. When L. Frank Baum wrote the Wizard of Oz he never envisioned that one day there would be dozens of little dwarf...
Read full storyCongress Strikes Back: Gives Taxpayers a 4% Approval Rating
Washington -- Still stinging from the lowly 10% approval rating it received from the American public, Congress has taken revenge, bestowing a measly four percent approval rating on taxpaying citizens. "Taxpayers are doing a terrible job of providi...
Read full storyTexas Nude Maid Service Being Looked Into By The Texas Rangers
LUBBOCK - The Texas panhandle city of Lubbock is noted for sorghum, tumbleweeds, prairie dogs, Texas Tech University, and for being the birthplace of Buddy Holly. But today, it is making national and international headlines due to the fact that T...
Read full storyThe World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!
IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Halts Her Concert After Two Jerks Hit Her Guitar With Red Laser Beams
GREEN BAY - Taylor Swift was in the middle of her concert performance at The Cheddar Cheese Convention Center in Green Bay when she suddenly stopped singing and playing in the middle of a song. The 22-year-old country songstress had just gone into...
Read full storyRepublicans Battle Over How Far To Turn Back The Clock
Crossroads, South Carolina -- Despite their endless bickering, the Republican presidential candidates all agree that they would like to take the nation back to a more gentler and prosperous era. But they have very different views on what point in Am...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Say That Taylor Swift's Hauntingly Beautiful Song "Safe And Sound" Is Their Favorite Song
CANCUN, Mexico - The two stars of the hit show The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder were recently down in Cancun, Mexico taking a much needed break from all of the hustle and bustle of LaLaLand. Dobrev and Somerhalder stayed at the...
Read full storyBirth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God
Washington, DC -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has declared his campaign to be "The Second Coming," after learning that his birth certificate identifies him as the Son of God. "I thought I might be related to Superman," Santorum...
Read full storyThe Stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Address The Skinny Dipping Rumors
CATALINA ISLAND, California - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev flew over to Catalina Island to get a much needed break from the hectic pace of the place called LaLaLand. The couple has been extremely busy filming Vampire Diaries and working as much...
Read full storyTen Little Known Facts About Tonight Show Host Jay Leno
Jay Leno says that he loves hosting The Tonight Show so much that he plans on doing it when he is well into his 80s even if he has to do the stand up monologue using a walker. He recently told Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk that if he is ever fired by NBC that he would possibly consider burning down The Tonight Show studio. Leno acknowledged that he knows it will probably mean that...
Read full storyLA DA says 'Bieber too big a pussy to have hurt a guy in a fight last May'
LOS ANGELES, California (ABSNN) - The LA County District Attorney's office declined to charge "tween star" Justine Bieber, 18, for a "fight" he had with a photographer last May. According to an Assistant District Attorney, "In all seriousness, we c...
Read full storyOne Direction lined up for the 2013 Eurovision song contest
Reality Show Pop Stars, One Direction, have been lined up to represent the UK in the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest. "We had to act fast," said Sebastian Coe, who has been appointed to make sure that Britain win in 2013 after several years of abject...
Read full storyAll Sent Items: To Katie1988 From SteveTheMan
To: Katie1988@topmail.com From: SteveTheMan@talktalc.co.uk Hi Katie - it was so nice to finally meet you! After exchanging all those emails about family trees and both being new to the whole ancestry thing it was handy to exchange ideas. I've found a few more distant relatives on my Dad's side, so my tree is beginning to fill out now. How are you getting on? Maybe we could meet up again to c...
Read full storyMcDonald's Happy Meal Box Survives for 20,000 Years
When remnants of a 20,000-year-old kitchen were discovered recently in China, it was hailed as a major find. Researchers combed the site, thinking they might come across some leftover Chicken Chow Mein or perhaps some fortune cookies. No luck.
Read full storyPresident Obama Tells Vice-President Joe Biden He Has To Do More Around The White House Or He May Be Put On Probation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A highly reliable, unnamed, inside White House source has revealed that President Obama recently had a heart-to-heart meeting with Vice-President Joe Biden. According to the source, it is really no secret at the White House that...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Are Overheard Talking About Possibly Eloping
CHATTANOOGA - Selena Gomez had just watched her boyfriend Justin Bieber perform at a sold-out concert at The Ooh La La Convention Center in Chattanooga. After the concert, the couple met backstage with Taffeta Kixx of iRumors. She asked the couple...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Girlfriend Selena Gomez Announce Plans To Build A 40 Ride Amusement Theme Park
TARZANA - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez recently spoke with Fuchsia Garfunkel a reporter with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle. The very happy couple announced plans for a brand new amusement theme park that they have been talking about since la...
Read full storyMitt Romney Gets Outsmarted By A Blue-Haired 98-Year-Old Woman In A Walker
MILWAUKEE - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney was in Milwaukee speaking at a meeting of The Hops and Malt Adders at the Old Milwaukee Brewery. Romney told the crowd that when he is elected president he will see to it that more beer breweri...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Star In The Movie Musical "The Etch A Sketch Chronicles"
LOS ANGELES - It has just been announced to the Hollywood entertainment media that Sky Castle Pictures in association with Lions Face Films will soon begin production on the Durango Grundyweather musical The Etch A Sketch Chronicles. Mr. Grundywea...
Read full storyBubba Watson, Dr. Watson, and IBM Computer Watson Star in New TV Show
It's a Reality Show. Its name, you ask? The Three Watsons, of course! Early reports say that the three celebs are having a difficult time getting along with each other. No problem, experts say, as controversy fuels Reality TV. But maybe not...
Read full storyKaley Cuoco to quit Big Bang for physics
It was the news that went off like an thermonuclear device around Hollywood. Kaley Cuoco, actress who plays Penny on the hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory has announced her intention to quit the show at the end of it's current season. It is the re...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Wants Custody of Michael Jackson's Kids
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has made it known that she would like to adopt Michael Jackson's children Paris, Prince, and Blanket. Jolie and her fiancé Brad Pitt already have six children but the actress stressed that Kate Gosselin has eight and...
Read full storyMonkey Found in Ikea Parking Lot Is Toronto Entrepreneur
This was monkey business, with a capital B. Turns out Darwin (yep, that's the monkey's name), who was wearing a shearling coat as he roamed the parking lot, was doing some modeling for his clothing business, which -- you guessed it -- manufactur...
Read full storyInternational Space Station picks up SOS signal from missing 'alien lake' drilling crew
Antarctica - "This is the last time we frack for bloody Gazprom!" was the gist of an emergency frequency communiqué picked up by astronauts aboard the ISS this morning. It has broken a seven day radio blackout of Russia's Arctic and Antarctic Res...
Read full storyChina Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory
Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing zone. "It's no secret that our count...
Read full storyNYC Fashion Week Extended, Will Include Show for Kindles and iPads
For once, the two gadgets see eye-to-eye. Ida iPad (the head of the Apple iPad labor union) and Katie Kindle (the head of the Amazon Kindle labor union) totally agree. There's a fantastic, but neglected, market out there to deal with the latest fas...
Read full storyBlue-Haired Katy Perry Is Dating Cher's Son Elijah Blue Allman
MARINA DEL REY - Music icon Cher who is 65, recently attended a benefit dinner in Marina Del Rey in honor of rock legend Bob Dylan who is 70. Cher spoke about the great times they had back in the 60s with the likes of The Byrds, Paul Revere &...
Read full storyOlympics Scaled Down to Face Debt Crisis Realities
London - The 2012 Olympic Games may be weeks away, but they are already feeling the effects of the European debt crisis. A long list of austerity measures is being implemented to help the international competition survive in an atmosphere of econ...
Read full storyBad Romance: So What's the Skinny?
Given the assignment to write about the subject of Bad Romance, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly grabbed her trusty tape recorder and set out to collect the opinions of a number of experts in the field. A meticulous researcher, Farrelly went to the ends of the earth and beyond to get the whole scoop. Here are her findings -- expressed in direct quotes from the interviewees, who were asked: What...
Read full storyNew Mexico man shot during robbery, or by accident, or some damned how
SILVER CITY, New Mexico (ABSNN) - Oddly enough, given the large number of guns and ammunition stores found in a gun shop, very few people have ever been shot in one, unless, of course, "they had it coming." Such was the case in this tiny New Mexico...
Read full storySneezing Monkeys Land Commercial Endorsements
Sneezing monkeys have a lot to celebrate. They were recently named to Arizona State University's annual Top 10 New Species list. And there's more. The resulting publicity has had an amazing side effect. The sneezing monkeys have signed contra...
Read full storyTool-making Cockatoo Signs Contract with Home Depot
No sooner had a cockatoo in captivity in Austria made the news by showing that he was able to fashion his own tools (read all about it in an article, Cockatoo shows tool-making skills, by Michelle Warwicker in BBC Nature News), when it was revealed t...
Read full storyJohn Travolta Insists That He Is Not Gay As Three More Individuals Allege That They Were Groped By The Actor
VENICE BEACH - Noted California attorney Ginger Allred, cousin of famed attorney Gloria Allred, has just stated that three more men have stepped forward and are alleging that actor-pilot John Travolta groped them. Ginger Allred, spoke with Fajita...
Read full storyVegetarian Rage As Harry Styles Out Of One Direction Papped Eating Meat Pie In Dorking
Vegetarians the length and breadth of the nation were up in arms following the publication of photographs clearly showing Harry out of One Direction tucking into a Tesco's minced beef and onion pie in Dorking. High profile foodies blame Harry's sp...
Read full storyNASA Asks Americans for Mars Mission Ideas; Martians Respond
Ask and you shall receive. But NASA is receiving more than it asked for when it requested that Americans come up with suggestions for future trips to Mars. Not only is it hearing from Americans. It's also receiving input from Martians! And, u...
Read full storySocial Media Halted; Few Users Are Reading Contributions of Others
The social media stoppage may not be forever; in fact, it will probably last only a few weeks. But starting next Wednesday -- for a limited time -- there will be NO social media whatsoever. Al Gore, founder of the Internet, made the announcement...
Read full storyArizona Bans The Hit Song "Call Me Maybe"
PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer acting on the advice of her good friend and political supporter Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has taken steps to issue a song band for her state. The governor recently met with Arpaio, the self-proclaimed toughest lawman...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Record A Valentine's Day CD Based On The Songs of Led Zeppelin
TARZANA - Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were enjoying Southern California' wonderfully, warm, wintertime, weather as they visited the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo. The couple who have visited the petting zoo before walked ar...
Read full storyThe Apple Inc. Logo; Who Bit into the Apple?
It's a whodunnit like no other. Most agree that the two likeliest suspects are the first couple. No, not Barack and Michelle. The real first couple -- Adam and Eve, first residents of the Garden of Eden. But neither one will own up to the deed.
Read full storyKate Gosselin Admits That She Did In Fact Get A Tramp Stamp Tattoo With Russell Brand's Initials
SAN FRANCISCO - Kate Gosselin and boyfriend Russell Brand traveled to San Francisco to see The Golden Gate Bridge, which Kate said she had been wanting to see ever since she was 26-years-old. The 37-year-old mother of eight, including sextuplets a...
Read full storyLeigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting compensation could run to $$$ millions
Birmingham - It's been billed as an ironic twist on John Cleese's notorious 'Sole reason for visit' response to a US visa questionnaire about 'Are You Planning To Overthrow The United States Government By Force?' And it could be a very lucrative d...
Read full storyRooney throws left hook at Phil Jones; United's only shot on target Monday evening!
Exclusive news has just seeped out of the very hot and steamy Man United dressing room after Monday's toothless performance against mayor rivals Man City. There was a definite "punch up" between trained boxer and United super-Scouse, Wayne Rooney,...
Read full storyA List of 10 Little Known Facts About Paul McCartney of The Beatles
Paul McCartney played the bass guitar with The Beatles which is the most famous band in the history of recorded music. The Beatles got their start back in the early 60s at Liverpool's Cavern Club. At one time they were actually known as The Silver Beatles but McCartney suggested that the the name be shortened to just The Beatles in order to be able to fit the name on the front of Ringo's Lud...
Read full storyObama Dumps Biden; Names Apple's Siri As His Running Mate
Washington, DC - Faced with declining poll numbers and a withering economy, President Barack Obama has dropped Vice President Joe Biden from the Democratic presidential election ticket, selecting Apple's digital assistant Siri as his new running mate...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Reportedly Hospitalized With 'Texting Fatigue'
LOS ANGELES - The year 2011 was definitely a year of ups and downs for Miley Cyrus, the 19-year-old singer who became nationally known for her starring role on the Disney Channel's Hannah Montana. During the summer Miley had a bad planking experie...
Read full storyMiami Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen Sticks His Baseball Cleats In His Mouth Once Again!
MIAMI - The manager of Major League Baseball's Miami Marlins, Ozzie Guillen has done gone and to quote Britney Spears "Oops...I Did It Again!" This time the native of Venezuela told some reporters that he really feels that former Cuban dictator Fi...
Read full storyMars Rover Transmits Photos of Martians Having Orgies
No wonder the rover is called Curiosity! NASA was delighted to receive the racy photos, with one official proclaiming, "Some folks think this outer space stuff is just dull science. Wait till they get a peek at these eye-popping photos. Whoopee!...
Read full storySanta Is No Longer Making a List and Checking It Twice
But don't take that to mean you should be naughty instead of nice. Spoof reporter Gail Farrelly did an email interview with Santa Claus and found out that there IS still a Naughty-or-Nice List (NNList) at the North Pole, but Santa no longer prep...
Read full storyBoxing Champ Manny Pacquiao's Anti-Gay Marriage Remarks Result In His Getting Banned From Disneyland
LOS ANGELES - Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao, who has held boxing titles in eight different boxing weight divisions has just stuck his gloved hand in his mouth. Pacquiao, a 33-year-old Filipino, in an interview with Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Mag...
Read full storyRob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange
The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event. Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.
Read full storyCelebrity New Year's Resolutions
Well it's that time of the year again, when everyone in the free world makes their New Year's Resolutions. Experts on the subject report that a little over 27 percent of the individuals who make the resolutions actually end up keeping them; with most going by the wayside within the first two days of the new year. Last year one of the biggest resolutions was to stop eating so many carbs. Anot...
Read full storyGroundhogs Seek New Careers
They've just about had it, with looking for their shadows. "And it's a once-a-year gig," complained a groundhog who wishes to remain anonymous. "What are we supposed to do for the other 364 days of the year?" An informal survey revealed a variety of career paths now followed by the industrious rodents. One groundhog who has recently signed a contract with a famous weight-loss chain, had t...
Read full storyNASA Rover on Way to Mars; Martians See Big Payday
The name of the Rover is Curiosity. It should arrive on Mars in about three months, and it's designed to do scientific research and take photos. "In their dreams," said a Martian yesterday, scratching his pointy little head as he t...
Read full story"The Avengers" Opens To A $200 Million Weekend Take To Break The All-Time Record - Scarlett Johansson Talks About Some of The Film's Goofs
HOLLYWOOD - The Avengers opened at movie theaters and scored extremely big at the box office breaking the all-time weekend take at over $200 million. The Marvel superhero movie literally left every other movie at the starting gate. One of the f...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Mom Pleads With Him To Enter Into A Rehab Clinic To Deal With His Anger
LA BREA - Justin Bieber's mom Pattie Mallette, 36, was in La Brea visiting the world famous La Brea Tar Pits. She was quietly sitting in the La Brea Tar Pits Diner lunching on a Pancho Villa Deluxe Chicken Fajita Plate when she was approached by M...
Read full storyNASA Solves Mars Mystery: Leprechauns Left Gold Dust There!
When Mars rover Curiosity sent back images of soil with sparkling flecks in it, at first NASA scientists were stumped. But they kept on digging. Finally, they were able to explain those sparkles. The scientists came to the inescapable conclusion t...
Read full storyDisneyland Australia
Walt Disney Home Entertainment has released a statement at their Annual Conference on Friday confirming that a new disney land theme park will be built in Sydney, Australia. A rep for the company confirmed that the annoucement of the companies 9th Pa...
Read full storyCher Fails to Prove She's Not Dead -- Burial Set for Tuesday
Hollywood, California -- Former superstar Cher has fallen victim to a bogus Tweet, which announced that she had passed away last Thursday. It appears that the 65-year-old singer/actress has no way of proving that she is indeed still alive. "Cher h...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Pull Work Stoppage
Most folks thought it was just a plain old "outage" when there was no Twitter for a while on Thursday. But that's not the whole story. The Spoof has learned that the real reason for the problem (although the company denies it) is that the Twitt...
Read full storyDoper's request for 'one more joint' lands him in the joint
CINCINNATI, Ohio (ABSNN) - A convicted pot smoker's request to smoke "one more joint before quitting," landed him in the joint after an Ohio judge "was astonished by his request." Damaine Mitchell, 19, was sentenced to prison by Hamilton County...
Read full storyCameron Diaz Reveals The Amazing Reason Why She Had Breast Augmentation Surgery
HONOLULU - Cameron Diaz was sunning herself on Honolulu Beach oblivious to the crowd that had formed around her. As she looked up she suddenly noticed that she had at least a dozen admirers. Cameron who has never been shy suddenly stood up and beg...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Reveals She Has Quite a Crush On Zac Efron
BEVERLY HILLS - Demi Lovato was recently talking to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue as she sat in his Haven of Hair Salon getting her hair trimmed. She told Fondue that over the Christmas holidays she and her little sister had gone to see the new mov...
Read full storyLady Gaga's New Easter Outfit Provides a Peeps Show
Make no mistake. It's not a "peep" show. Take your mind out of the gutter and see that we're talking about peeps. Y'know those soft marshmallow candies (yellow chickens and pink bunnies are the most popular) that folks either love or love to h...
Read full storyTwitter Birdie Admits Hacking Emails, May Be Recruited by FBI
It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's a bird all right. One nosy bird, that's for sure. Last night she finally came clean and admitted that she's been doing much more than delivering tweets. She's been hacking the email of tweeters, claiming that...
Read full storySpider-Man Has Sandwich Named for Him at Carnegie Deli
It's Spider-Man week in NYC. To celebrate, the world-famous Carnegie Deli has announced a special sandwich. It's called "The Spidey." At Grand Central Station yesterday the man himself talked about the sandwich and said he couldn't wait to dig his...
Read full storyMitt Romney Is So Desperate To Be The Next President That He Has Announced He Is Changing His Religion
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour bus pulled into Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the town made famous by the 60s Petula Clark song, "Me Bloomin' Heart's In Merry Olde England But Me Naughty Bits Are In Tuscaloosa." Romney spoke...
Read full storyShades of Grey Trilogy; Should Hercule Poirot Share In Its Profits?
"Oui," answers Poirot. You see, it's the cells, those "little gray cells" that the Belgian detective always speaks of. Now someone has stolen his thunder, taken the word gray (sometimes spelled grey), and is using it to make a mint. And Poirot...
Read full storyNASA Admits Mars Rover Curiosity Was Site of Holiday Bash
It was a public relations disaster of intergalactic proportions as NASA had to use a huge chunk of its budget to clean up after the party and restore the scientific equipment on the rover back to normal status. Rumors of a party had been swirlin...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera Explains The Reason For Her Tremendous Weight Gain
LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera recently stated that she has become somewhat depressed at the seemingly never-ending comments, remarks, and jokes regarding her recent incredibly stupendous weight gain. She told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that...
Read full storyMermaids Don't Exist? Minnie the Mermaid Begs to Differ
Minnie the Mermaid, in her seaweed bungalow at the bottom of the sea, was shocked to read on NYDailyNews.com on July 3 that she doesn't exist. But there it was! That glaring headline: "Mermaids, like zombies, not real, say govt. experts." She trembled as she drank a glass of sea water and read these words in the article: "The National Ocean Service has declared that the mythical creatures d...
Read full storyJP Morgan begging
NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown. CEO, JD, stated that the re...
Read full storyNo Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!
Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...
Read full storyZac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens To Star In The New TV Series, "The Zombie Chronicles"
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for The Epitome Network has just announced that The Zombie Chronicles will be premiering in two weeks. The cable series is being directed by noted motion picture director Charleen Belle Pinnzucker who has worked with Dem...
Read full storyCandles ignite stripper's fart: explosion injures 20 Shriners in Massachusetts!
SPRINGIELD, Massachusetts (ABSNN) - A nude dancer performing an "amazing, near flawless split" accidentally passed gas and nearby table candles ignited the fart "causing a huge natural gas explosion at the Scores Gentlemen's Club," say fire fighters...
Read full storyHarry Stiles from One Direction confirms age gap in love affair too big
It was confirmed today by One Direction member Harry Styles himself that he concedes his love affair with an older woman might not be the best thing for him. He said that touring the country with the new woman in his life meant that they had to c...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Want The Age Old Practice of Lip Syncing Stopped Once and For All
ASHLAND, Wisconsin - One of the happiest celebrity couples in America, Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez flew out to Ashland, Wisconsin. A group of retired Wisconsin Amalgamated Power & Light workers spent a total of 48 hours building the largest...
Read full storyMinnie the Mermaid Speaks Out Against the Stalking of Sharks
Wearing a Donna Karan tube dress of soft pink and diamond jewelry by Harry Winston, Minnie held a press conference in NYC yesterday off a pier at the South Street Seaport in lower Manhattan. She attracted a big crowd and spoke for ten minutes straig...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Has Been Asked To Write The Theme Song To The Movie "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2"
LOS ANGELES - Country music singer Taylor Swift recently got together with Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart two stars of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2. The Twilight Saga stars chatted with Taylor in her dressing room after she had per...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Has Invited Rob Pattinson To Travel With Her Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight series, has just received what he is calling one of the best offers he has ever had. Pattinson said that out of the blue he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. She asked him how his brand...
Read full storySnake Kicked Off Plane at Glasgow Airport Gives Interview
It wasn't first-class treatment at all, that's for sure. But then again, he wasn't a first-class passenger. The snake, after all, was just a stowaway. When he was found slithering along under some seats in a plane from Mexico, he was carted of...
Read full storyThe List of 10 Reasons Why Congressman Ron Paul Says America Should Elect Him To Be The Next President
Congressman Ron Paul of Texas was recently asked how he felt running in the GOP presidential race for the highest office in the land. The spry 76-year-old smiled and remarked that he felt as happy as a woodpecker in a Popsicle stick factory. The veteran politician from Texas is no stranger to the harsh world of political mudslinging. Earlier this year when Michele Bachmann stated that he...
Read full storyKiddie Cappuccinos Sold in Brooklyn; Ho-Hum, Say Kids
The latest rage in Park Slope Brooklyn is the fake cappuccino, developed to convince toddlers they're getting designer drinks just like the ones adults are ordering up. Yeah, right! A spoof reporter who understands baby talk has conducted interviews with a number of Brooklyn toddlers and has discovered that they are not deceived. Moreover, they are disgusted by the charade. Here's a sample...
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Upset With Vice-President Joe Biden For Making Mother-In-Law Jokes In Front of Michelle's Mama
WASHINGTON D.C. - Word filtering out of the White House is that President Barack Obama is not a happy camper. It seems that the other day during a White House State Dinner in honor of France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Vice-President Biden in...
Read full storyRats Laugh If Tickled, But There's More to the Story
Scientists were quite elated recently with their earthshaking discovery. Spoof reporters, however, have gone behind the scenes to get all the details about the observed connection between tickling and rat laughter. Like the scientists, they used...
Read full storyAmelia Earhart's Radio Calls: Study Leads to Radio Calls Before There Were Radios!
We're not only learning a lot about Amelia Earhart's radio transmissions concerning her downed flight in 1937, but we're also learning about the radio transmissions of many other figures throughout history. And this includes more than just trans...
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