Christina Aguilera Explains The Reason For Her Tremendous Weight Gain

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 25 June 2012

image for Christina Aguilera Explains The Reason For Her Tremendous Weight Gain
Christina said the rumors of her eating four pizzas a day are positively not true. (Photo courtesy of David Crosby).

LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera recently stated that she has become somewhat depressed at the seemingly never-ending comments, remarks, and jokes regarding her recent incredibly stupendous weight gain.

She told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that she wants everyone to know that the added weight is not due to the fact that she is pregnant with triplets, twins, or even one baby.

Christina also wanted to clear up the rumors that she is not taking steroids to deal with a vocal cord problem she's had since her right one was bruised when she accidentally swallowed a peach pit a week ago.

She noted that her doctor told her that although it did nick her right vocal cord it did not bruise it enough to cause her to lose an octave in her voice range as her hairdresser José José of San José had erroneously told Ryan Seacrest that it did.

The songstress, who appears as one of the judges on the reality music show The Voice, is noted for her extremely risque outfits, her semi-hard-core music videos, her sultry provocative song lyrics, and for the fact that he actually has an extra earlobe which she manages to successfully hide from the public.

Christina said that she wants to put all of the weight gain rumors to rest and she told Miss Vermicelli that the one and only reason for her tremendous weight gain of late is contractual.

Vermicelli asked her to please explain. And Aguilera said that it is written in her movie contract that she has to gain 85 pounds due to the fact that in her upcoming film she will be portraying country music legend Wynonna Judd.

The movie is titled Mama If You See Me Put Another Piece of Cornbread In My Mouth Please Bite My Lower Lip - The Wynonna Judd Story.

News From The World of The Palins. Bristol Palin recently disclosed to Hollywood Vis-á-Vis that she was devastated when she was a contestant on Dancing With The Stars and she overheard Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli telling Mark Ballas backstage that Bristol "The Pistol" had all the grace of a Tulsa tumbling tumbleweed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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