John Travolta Insists That He Is Not Gay As Three More Individuals Allege That They Were Groped By The Actor

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 19 May 2012


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"The Colorado Cruncher" is one of John Travolta's alleged gropees. (Photo by Richard Simmons).

VENICE BEACH - Noted California attorney Ginger Allred, cousin of famed attorney Gloria Allred, has just stated that three more men have stepped forward and are alleging that actor-pilot John Travolta groped them.

Ginger Allred, spoke with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo at a local Pizza Gal Restaurant and revealed that with the three new males coming forward, the list of alleged gropees by the "Urban Cowboy" is now seven.

Miss Allred was asked to give the names of the three individuals that that she is representing. At first she declined to do so on legal grounds of Nolo Tello Los Nombres Per Se but she soon relented.

Allred said that one individual is Tanner "Sparky" Dillfickle, 27, who is currently an unemployed convenience store clerk.

The second client is Washburn "Wishy-Washy" Ashtabula, 24, who lists his profession as a hair stylist's assistant, and the third individual is Kirkwood "Woody" Woodsalt, 29, who owns a cotton candy machine servicing company.

San Guacamole asked Ms. Allred if she has contacted Travolta's lawyer Martina Dancer of the Pomona law firm of Swamproot, Greenrain, & Dancer.

Allred replied that she has left Miss Dancer thirteen (13) phone messages and has not heard from the attorney who was on the losing side of last year's The Cotton Pickin' Cotton Picking Company Vs. The State of Mississippi in the infamous counterfeit cotton ball case.

The other four alleged gropees include a cruise ship pastry chef, a physical fitness center janitor, a homeless man from Hacienda Heights, and a 375 pound retired professional wrestler.

Here Is A List of Some of Ginger Allred's Clients:

  • Madonna
  • Sandra Fluke
  • The Boston Celtics
  • Vanessa Bryant (Kobe's ex-wife)
  • Seal
  • FuFi Fondue (Hair Stylist to the stars)
  • Missy Wonderbox (A reporter with Hollywood Innuendo)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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