Pulitzer Prize Winning Spoof Writer has Award Rescinded
PM Wortham, noted satirical writer and hack novelist was shocked to learn the news late this afternoon that his previously reported winning of the Pulitzer Prize in Literature was in fact, all a ruse. Wortham was contacted directly by the Pulitzer A...
Read full storyNew Corduroy Bed Pillows are Making Headlines
First introduced by the Pealy Corporation of New Brunswick Connecticut, corduroy fabric bed pillows are all the rage in North America, providing both a new and fresh fashion statement in bedroom décor as well as limited medical benefits. Soft fabr...
Read full storyVote for Rand Paul or Southern Boys Will Step on Your Head
Republican nominee Rand Paul finally apologized to the protestor seen in a UTube video with a Rand supporter stepping on a woman's head and pinning her to the ground. The apology came after the video became viral and Paul was forced to make a state...
Read full storyMicrosoft's Chief Architect Drops a Fart in Church before Moving On
When Bill Gates handed over software development control to Ray Ozzie a number of years ago, he probably never imagined that a loyal senior management compatriot would drop a stinky memo in the press box before walking out the door. The floating a...
Read full storyKaty and Russell Add a Little Bump to the Mile High Club
On route to their semi-secret Caribbean Island honeymoon destination, Russell Brand had apparently asked his private jet pilot to steer the plane through a growing hurricane out over the Atlantic, to as Russell put it, "Add a little more bump in hone...
Read full storyPart 1: Jedi Knight Attack The Spoof Alliance and Deaf Star
Tatoomein - Today as the double son/daugter rose and got out of bed, siamese twins Luke Pissgum Skywalker and sister Leia Pissgum Skywalker decided to call on their Jedi mentor Yoga. "Mocked you are, respect you are not, no more you fairest in all the land," chortled Yoga. "But Yoga," replied Luke, "We defeated Lord Vapor and his merry men in green tights and we even destroyed a Yoko Ono con...
Read full storyZemeckis says to Cameron: "Screw your 'Little House on the Prairie' project. I'm remaking 'Yellow Submarine'!"
Film director Robert Zemeckis fired at hated rival James Cameron today, proclaiming that he is already in the process of remaking the 1968 classic 'Yellow Submarine'. Scheduled for release in 2012, the 3D update to the original animated version th...
Read full storyTemp Church Agency Sued Over Lack of Prophets
Looking for a new way to rev up his slumping congregation, Reverend Tom Padre answered the incessant ring of a robocaller that promised to deliver every Satanist's worst fear--the Holy Spirit, raging like an uncontrollable crown fire. "It's like i...
Read full storyFrankie and Johnny Split
After more than 44 years together Frankie has left Johnny to return to his first love, Baron Frankenstein. He has been reported to have been 'somewhat unhappy' for some considerable time. Johnny, who famously starred in the film 'The Shining' tol...
Read full storyTory Old Goat embarasses the Con dems
In today's world where a sneeze on one side of the world can give someone in another part of the world flu. I am here to report some news that happened less than a few hours ago and boy is it causing shockwaves at Downing street. Michael Heseltine...
Read full storySnooki Defends Friend Kirstie Alley Against Weight Jokes
Of all people, Snooki has came forth to defend a friend of hers, Kirstie Alley, from what she calls cruel jokes. "Kirstie welcomed me when I came here and we stayed friends", she told "The West Coast Post". "She can't help it if her normal ass...
Read full storyTiger Wood's High-Price Escort To Release Tail-All Book!
In a new book due out in January, Tiger Woods high-price mistress, Loredana Jolie says that Tiger had reason to look elsewhere for attention. "How else do you account for my going to his place and the wife was never there? I mean, she could have w...
Read full storyNaked Charlie Sheen Loses His Wallet Instead Of His Car This Time!
Seems like actor Charlie Sheen can't go anywhere without somebody stealing from him. After two different occasions of having the police in saying someone had stolen his car, this time it was a hotel manager that called the police after customers i...
Read full storyChicharito Strikes Again!
Fresh from his exertions against Stoke City and long throw-up expert Rory Delap, Javier Hernandez, also known as Chicharito - the little pea - popped up out of his pod again at Old Trafford last night to bag the winner for Manchester United as the Re...
Read full storyWild, Naked, Coked Charlie Sheen Blames Bed Bug Plague for Hotel Rant!
Security at the NY Plaza Hotel were called in after a disturbance in a Penthouse Suite after adjoining residents complained of a crescendo of broken furniture, bed post pounding, and loud cries of ecstasy disturbed them in the early morning hours.
Read full storyHarley Davidson to Merge with Yamaha
Shocking the biker world both here in America and back in Japan, Harley Davidson has agreed to sell 51% of its shares to Yamaha Corporation in exchange for a much needed influx of capital. The Milwaukee based iconic motorcycle manufacturer was for...
Read full storyThe Dangers of a Powerful Government
An apology was issued for the experiment conducted by United States public health researchers in Guatemala between 1946 and 1948. The United States purposely infected 1500 people with sexually transmitted diseases to study the effects of penicill...
Read full storyHarry Potter's Wand Does Little More Than Pick a Good Booger
Returning from Universial Studios this week after a business conference in the South of Florida, several patrons reported being unhappy with one particular souvenir acquired in the Harry Potter village. One woman who preferred to remain nameless s...
Read full storyRepublicans Argue For a Better Tax System
Washington - Republican senator David Kyl argues that he does not agree with Democrats raising taxes for the rich while religious institutions keep owing the American People a tax debt of over 700 trillion dollars for the last two centuries of tax e...
Read full storyThe Queen to be Pantomime Dame for Christmas season
Following the royals decision to freeze their pay for a year, the Queen has taken the unusual step of ordering her brood to get on their bikes to put bread on t'table. HRH has even taken a temporary position herself with the help of Max Clifford,...
Read full storyChristine O'Donnell says God is the reason she's running for Senate. God says "Uh-uh, Christine..you're not listening. What part of NO do you not understand? Read my lips. I told you NOT TO RUN!"
Tea Bagger Christine O'Donnell - she who hasn't really read the Constitution and expressed surprise that separation of church and state is in the 1st amendment (?), now says - God told her to run for the Senate. Having failed on all other fronts...
Read full storyLocal Nerd Points Out Reagan National Debt Would Be About 7.3 Trillion Dollars Today
Boston, MA - Larry Foote, a MIT student who was sick of listening to Republican whine about the National Debt, figured out that Ronald Reagen's National Debt would be 7.3 trillion in today's dollars, if you figure inflation into the equation. "I a...
Read full storyPlight of the meek who didn't inherit the earth
Amid an increasing number of clashes between the Turkish military and the outlawed Kurdistan Workers' Party, or PKK, Sendogan Yazici from Istanbul has become the 121st Turk to declare his conscientious objection to military service. In a press con...
Read full storyPaul (RIP) the World Cup octopus has died suspiciously?
During the World Cup in South Africa, Paul, a German octopus tipped several games correctly and became a world wide sensation with both fans and Asian illegal bookmakers? Sadly, Paul has died, AAAGH, but there are suspicious circumstances surround...
Read full storyStar Trek Fans Institutionalize their Own Church
Completing their registration and private corporation tax forms with the federal government, The Church of James T. Kirk and Latter Day Trekkers was officially formed yesterday, and is based in Inglewood, California. Thousands of late forties and...
Read full storyUnemployed Mel Gibson Pitches Fox Series 'Loner House'
Mel Gibson has reportedly recovered from losing his last movie deal, a sequel to a movie where was the star no less, and has been reduced to pitching project ideas to cable television networks. This morning, The Fox Network announced that Gibson wou...
Read full storyOcto Betting Foiled
The Octopus named Paul who was right with his world cup predictions has died in mysterious circumstances. Betting firms are strongly suspected of foul play. However a spokesanimal for the Beast Betting Bureau (BBB) announced the amazing feats of a...
Read full storyUnable to predict his death, Paul the psychic octopus becomes tasty calamari. Youngest son Kim Jong-Paul being groomed as successor.
BERLIN: From his home - in an aquarium in Berlin - comes news that Paul the octopus, who shot to fame for his spot-on game-win predictions during this year's football World Cup in South Africa, has ... died! Unfortunately the many-tentacled mollusk...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Drunk, Again
New York - Charlie Sheen got drunk, again. This time he got so drunk that he forgot to put his clothes on. "I saw this naked man wandering around the hotel, he was so drunk that he could barely walk. I soon realized it was Charlie Sheen, so I trie...
Read full storyLondon's Burning
The heartbreaking song 'London's Burning' could become a stark reality, if the proposed firefighters' strike goes ahead on Bonfire Night this year. The Fire Brigade Union have told firefighters not to fetch the engines on 5th November, even when...
Read full storyTariq Aziz Latest
Tariq Aziz, who for many years was the grinning international face of Iraq under the 'tyrannical monster' Saddam Hussein, has been sentenced to death by the Iraqi Supreme Court. He was convicted in connection with the persecution of religious part...
Read full storyTony Romo Breaks His Collarbone As The Dallas Cowboys Fall To (1-5): Owner Jerry Jones Has Just Aged 10 Years!
DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones sat in his multi-million dollar air-conditioned luxury suite with beads of sweat running down his forehead. He had just watched his star quarterback get tackled and hammered to the ground by New York Giant...
Read full storyPope Benedict Backs Geert Wilders
Dutch politician and member of the ruling coalition Geert Wilders is presently facing charges in the Netherlands for inciting hatred against Muslims because he said, "I've had enough of Islam in the Netherlands; let not one more Muslim immigrate into...
Read full storyMyths about Obesity
See Billy Connoly's Youtube video on Food "its no wonder you're as fat as fucking pigs" for scientific observations. A recent article in Live Science explained 11 ways we that can put on weight. Obesity it says can be due to such things as leaving the light on at night, having your tonsils out and catching a cold. Could there be any truth in these bizarre suggestions? Before our poor fatties...
Read full storyChurch of Jediism Falls on Hard Times
Following a rash of insults, negative encounters with governmental agencies and physical attacks in public, the Church founded on the fictional Jedi faith of Star Wars fame is considering disbanding. Jedi Cleric, Banal Fiber claims that the genera...
Read full storyLady Ga Ga most popular person to be on U Tube since Hitler!
Pop sensation Lady Ga Ga has become the most famous person to be on U Tube. Before Lady gained this "infamous" position another world celebrity held the glorious role of being the most popular VIP on the planet, Adolf Hitler. Hitler has a global f...
Read full storyMadness: School Bans String After Attack On Mouse
In a prime case of the world going mad, a primary school has banned string from it's playground, after an 8 year old pupil hung a mouse from a fence post. The boy, who can not be named due to lack of proper reporting (I forgot to write it down), w...
Read full storyMadonna, Dennis Rodman to Open Fitness Franchise
Truth being stranger than fiction, Madonna announced her partnership with former NBA star Dennis Rodman to launch a new series of athletic gyms across North America. With a franchise working title of "The Virgin Worm", both principles held a press c...
Read full storyWayne Rooney to have secret transplant
A private clinic in the North-West confirmed today that England striker Wayne Rooney is to receive a new set of testicles from an un-named donor, believed to be a Lithuanian labourer. Dr Bungiton Farmyardarea of the exclusive Prestbury Clinic was...
Read full storyFrench Students Maintain Protest
Students have been taking to the streets in French cities to continue the protest at the Government's pension plans. Older strikers, however, have been returning to work as several key strikes have ended. But there are reasons to believe that t...
Read full storyBiologists Create New Species of Insect Eating Beetle
Announced at a press conference in Bern, Switzerland this morning, a joint effort between Universitätsleitung Seniorenuniversität at Bern, and HNE Eberswalde University in Brandenburg, Germany has yielded a new species of insect eating beetle that ta...
Read full storyRomo & Favre Spotted in Switzerland, Cruising for Snow Bunnies
Both NFL quarterbacks now injured and out for the remainder of the 2010-2011 season, Tony Romo and Brett Favre reportedly rented a private Gulfstream, loaded up on pain killers and flew to Switzerland to cruise the ski resort bar circuit. Romo wit...
Read full storyDetroit to Receive a Massive Blow Job Today
Rare weather patterns and unseasonably warm temperatures will be responsible for a convergence of two storm systems today, where sustained winds are expected to reach more that 60 miles per hour. Local authorities are preparing for the worst, give...
Read full storyPaul the Octopus Dies, But the Appetizers Were "Delicious"
World cup prediction machine housed in the body of a mature Octopus named Paul, died yesterday in Germany at the age of two and a half years. Not to lose out on the publicity or the opportunity, Paul was quickly sold to a local seafood restaurant...
Read full storyAmerican Political Candidates Continue to Misquote the Constitution
Wielded as a sword of honesty, truth and used as the foundational document to support a political platform of "change", the U.S. Constitution is routinely misquoted and misrepresented by the same candidates asking for your votes this November. Reg...
Read full storyEmporer Shot on Queen's Orders
The beautiful Emporer Stag, photographed days ago in a stunning picture admired by millions, was killed on orders from the Queen. 'There's a Monarch in this country' she fumed' and that is me. We can't have an Emporer as well. I will not be underm...
Read full storyTeens In Booze Ticking Time Bomb
Shocking figures, released by the Daily Mail, have found that 36 under 18's are hospitalized daily as a result of binge drinking. The results were so shocking that they were almost left unreported as fears of sending people into shock was deemed e...
Read full storyBaroness Thatcher's testicle 'cut off by mistake'
Ex Prime Minister Baroness Thatcher lost a testicle during an operation because the surgeon cut it off by mistake, a General Medical Council (GMC) hearing has been told. Dr Omar Ghulees was only supposed to cut out a cyst, but removed the whole right...
Read full storyReview: Dating Agencies and Rabbit
As the most dedicated reviewer for The Spoof, I occasionally get odd items requiring review. Most recently I was sent the latest in Rabbit's sex toy range: Thrust 2. However, after the disaster that was the Party Food review that led to my review of divorce lawyers, I have been reviewing local hostelries for the past few months and find myself resolutely single, with no way of testing the Rabb...
Read full storyMan arrested for laughing
Birmingham: A man was arrested today in Birmingham city centre for laughing in a public place. The man named Michael O'Flaherty (36) originally from Liverpool was seen by members of the public openly giggling and eventually laughing out loud while ta...
Read full storyKaty Perry & Russell Brand's wedding not consummated
Reports have surfaced today that Brand and Perry are still not officially married. The act of 'marriage' requires the couple to consummate it which basically means have a shag (not smoke a pipe) however it appears the bizarre couple have still not ma...
Read full storyCollege of Psychic Studies pallbearers for ESP octopus funeral
Germany - (Fishy Tales): An occult funeral ceremony flanked by London College of Sidekick Studies coffin bearers will see the World Cup psychic octopus' remains buried at sea tomorrow. Former handlers at the Oberhausen Sea Life Centre aquarium hom...
Read full storySpoof Writer Rushed To Hospital After Slicing His Own Mouth With Sharp Tongue
A Spoof writer today, had to be rushed to a local hospital, after lacerating the insides of his mouth with his own sharp tongue. The writer (who can not be named) was preparing to bestow a quick witted Spoof article on the shoulders of Louis Walsh...
Read full storyShock: Katie Price "Becoming An Orange" Say Docs
In shock news today, doctors at the Institute For Fruit Related Human Crossover Sciences revealed that Katie Price has been diagnosed with Orangitus. The rare disease is thought to be triggered by an overuse of certain tanning agents. The main ing...
Read full storyThrust 2 Rabbit, a success!
Women everywhere rejoiced when Rabbit, the makers of the incredibly popular vibrating sex toy for women only (as seen on TV, if you have the porn channels), announced that their number one selling sex toy is to get a make over with a new facility tha...
Read full storyPrint your own food straight from email
All the major supermarket chains are taking one more step towards a more efficient future with the soon to be released edible ink in printer cartridges. Tesburys and Sainco, just two of the market leaders will be rolling out the innovative new hom...
Read full storyPsychic World Cup octopus discovered dead - clutching Rooney prenup magazine story!
Germany - (Fishy Tales): "We found him belly up this morning," dismayed staff at the Sea Life Oberhausen Aquariuam said today, "an Octoplasm News magazine story about Wayne and Coleen's wedding prenup in his withered tentacle." Paul the psychic c...
Read full storyPOPPYCOCK! The must have dress that makes you a better person
I want it! I want it! That's the words being yelled at t'interweb screens up and down the globe this week. What's all the fuss about? The poppeacock dress, that's what. Modelled on a vintage look and costing less than an Essex vajazzle in any of t...
Read full storyU.S. Gastronomical Travel Guide For The Gourmet Zombie
Fans of brains everywhere, rejoice! Here is the first in-print guide to fine brain dining wherever you may be in the US. Our ghoulish researchers have spent many dark, moonlit nights partaking of the cuisine available throughout this great land. They have experimented with cranial delicacies from the intellectuals of New York to the trailer trash of Alabama. Here is a portion of the guide to w...
Read full storyGary Neville To Leave United
Gary Neville will be leaving Manchester United when his current contract expires. Despite protestations that United is the only club for the more moustachioed (but only just) of the Neville brothers, from next season, Gary will be looking for a ne...
Read full storyCrisis Narrowly Averted, Anti-Spoof Threat Condition Remains at Highest Level: "Dire"
Spoof Headquarters recently thwarted the efforts of a malicious anti-spoof attack masquerading as an actual writer. Details are scarce, but what is known is that the following piece allegedly submitted by SpaceElevator was at the heart of the attack: Cutbacks & Lax Standards Allow Nonsensical Story to Bypass TheSpoof.com Quality Control Department As standards worsen on TheSpoof.com (cl...
Read full storyIran Helps Karzai
Western capitals have been shaken by the revelation, from President Karzai of Afghanistan, that Iran's Dinner Jacket has been sending bags of urine for the President's use. Karzai uses the precious pee, straight from Iran's nuclear instillations,...
Read full storyThe Rooneys on holiday
Not to be outdone by the Daily Mail and other such high quality journals, The Bollocks News Agency will be covering the Rooney's hols in Dubai, in all the lurid detail one could ever possibly want. Whilst we can't run to the expense of sending a repo...
Read full storyX Factor's Wagner Campaign Gets Opera Fans On Board
Campaigners bidding to make Wagner Carillho this year's X Factor winner reckon they're backing a dead cert - thanks to global opera fans. It is widely believed that online campaigns to promote the eccentric Brazilian contestant are designed to mif...
Read full storyPamela Anderson Annoyed At Oxford Union Questions
Baywatch star Pamela Anderson has addressed the Oxford Union on vegetarianism - or at least she has tried to. She is reported to be upset that the young toffs at the top University failed to take her seriously and were more interested in her TV pa...
Read full storyMassive Take That Announcement!
Lardy warbler Gary Barlow vehicle Take That stirred the media up into a frenzy today with a top secret press conference where they were to make an announcement of huge importance. The location was released to the media, but completely kept from th...
Read full storyKindles Feud with Amazon Over Lending-of-Books Feature
Kindles, Amazon's electronic readers, are in a snit. They are appalled that Amazon has announced, ". . . later this year, we will be introducing lending for Kindle, a new feature that lets you loan your Kindle books to other Kindle device or Kindle...
Read full storyCSI: Miami On "Last Warning"
Channel 5 bosses will be scrutinising viewing figures very closely tonight and keeping their fingers crossed as CSI:Miami airs. They have been concerned with the eighth series of the US "procedural" since it began screening 16 weeks ago. Audien...
Read full storyLeeds United Pay Price For Playing Without Defenders
Leeds United suffered their third consecutive home league defeat last night, as they were soundly beaten 4-0 by high-flying Cardiff City, whose manager Dave Jones later criticised the Yorkshire club for playing without a single defender. Leeds sta...
Read full storyCrapper Estate Sues Kohler over Stolen Ballcock Design
Long thought to be an exclusive Kohler flush toilet feature, the single action "Quiet Whisper" ballcock on all Kohler Designer Series toilets, may indeed be based on original designs from the British inventor of the flush commode, Thomas Crapper.
Read full storyTaylor was Swift to Take Jake's Friend Request
Cyber life leading to a personal hook up in the Big Apple, Taylor Swift reportedly connected in real life with Mr. "I am not a gay cowboy", Gyllenhaal while at a club in Midtown. Swift's personal hairdresser, Amber Teasel tells reporters that it...
Read full storyMel Gibson Claims 1960's Drink Was Named After Him
Recently released from the local county courthouse following temporary incarceration for being drunk (and stupid) in public and after trying to file divorce papers against himself, Mel Gibson was heard rambling on the steps of the court with claims t...
Read full storyMel Gibson Divorces Himself; Claims Irreconcilable Differences
Former actor, bigot, hot head and for some unknown reason that defies a rational explanation, sex symbol, Mel Gibson has decided to file divorce papers against himself in Los Angeles County claiming irreconcilable differences. Following another da...
Read full storyMichelle Catches President In Bed With Voluptuously Endowed "Sweet Potato"
Apparently, what goes around, comes around. Last week the First Lady, Michelle Obama, was pictured holding a voluptuous sweet potato newly harvested from her garden. To some, the potato resembled the sexual organs of a very well endowed man of colo...
Read full story"Obama Is NOT The Anti-Christ" Says Arkansas Preacher
HOT SPRINGS, ARKANSAS - In 2008, Reverend Jeremiah Lee Caine of the Abaddon's Gate Baptist Church became gravely concerned upon hearing Obama's claim that "this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow." According to Obama, his feats...
Read full storyDon't Ask Don't Tell has U.S. Armed Forces Redesigning Uniforms Living Quarters
The U.S Armed forces today announced major new changes to uniforms, living quarters and other protocols for the new OPEN Armed Forces Ad campaign. New advertisements featuring the Village People and Elton John, focus on the new open atmosphere the U.
Read full storyCity buy their very own CHICO - X-Factor star on £300k a week
EASTLANDS - Sick of always being outdone by their more illustrious neighbours, Manchester City moved quickly today to buy their very own CHICO headline act - following Man Utd ace Chico's two goals against Stoke over the weekend.... ...... None...
Read full storyAndy Reid Confirms, Under his Breath, That Michael Vick is Next Week's Starting QB
During head coach Andy Reid's weekly "Here's why we lost" press conference, the coach was asked who will be the Philadelphia Eagles' starting quarterback next week, Bobby Hoying clone Kevin Kolb, or PETA (wanted) poster boy Michael Vick. Michael Vic...
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