PM Wortham, noted satirical writer and hack novelist was shocked to learn the news late this afternoon that his previously reported winning of the Pulitzer Prize in Literature was in fact, all a ruse. Wortham was contacted directly by the Pulitzer Award committee to validate that he, in fact, was a loser.
In the midst of researching his 400th story, Wortham suspected that the normal Pulitzer Award was not in fact, a medallion made out of aluminum foil wrapped around a tomato can lid, and strung around the neck by a dirty shoelace. He had hoped that the pictures he did see on the internet were just poor, or at least poorer representations of that prestigious award.
The obviously distraught Wortham had only a few words for the press, including, "Bastards" and "Cock Suckers", while suggesting that he would find the people responsible for the joke and get a little even in the process. Wortham's personal confidant and advisor, Bucky Weinstein, suggested that he have a few shots of tequila, perhaps a couple of Valium and decompress before making any hasty decisions.
Wortham was later seen at the Oasis Bar & Grille Orlando, singing Karaoke quite poorly to Rush's "Tom Sawyer". The crowd of regulars politely applauded and bought him a round of Crème de Menthe.