Church of Jediism Falls on Hard Times

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

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The force is strong with this one. Or is the lack of under arm anti perspirant?

Following a rash of insults, negative encounters with governmental agencies and physical attacks in public, the Church founded on the fictional Jedi faith of Star Wars fame is considering disbanding.

Jedi Cleric, Banal Fiber claims that the general public just doesn't understand what would otherwise be considered a laudable set of personal beliefs. "We are much like any other religion, based on sound moral values and a belief in a higher power" says Fiber.

Critics wonder if the church's goal is to blend in harmoniously with society, or to stand out quite literally from the crown and open themselves up to ridicule.

Local U.K. reporter Matthew Hatt, lists two recent news stories that support his concern. In 2008, two members of the church, in full Jedi robe regalia, were attacked outside of their own home by a drunken and disabled man who successfully beat them with one of his crutches. In 2010, another church member was escorted out of the Jobcentre in Essex for refusing to remove his Jedi hood. No one seemed shocked that the man was looking for a job.

"We are allowed to worship and practice any faith we choose", says Fiber. "But our attendance is at an all time low. We need a George Lucas sequel soon or we're through". In the final analysis, Banal Fiber was right. He is allowed to practice whatever faith he chooses so long as it does not impose on others. And you have to expect a beat down from time to time just because of the 365 days of wearing a Halloween costume.

May the force be with the Jedi Church, but perhaps a refill on that Lithium prescription might serve them better.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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