Temp Church Agency Sued Over Lack of Prophets

Funny story written by The Free Mock It

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

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Looking for a new way to rev up his slumping congregation, Reverend Tom Padre answered the incessant ring of a robocaller that promised to deliver every Satanist's worst fear--the Holy Spirit, raging like an uncontrollable crown fire.

"It's like it was a sign from God," Padre said. "Our congregation has been struggling for years to find its identity and we really had faith in this agency. I'm disappointed that things haven't worked out like they were promised to us."

The robocall was from Faith Finders, a temporary church agency that sends "enthusiastic Christians" into flat-lining churches and promises to transfuse their "abundant Holy Spirit into the church."

But, according to Padre, the agency failed to deliver on this promise. "We're as much of a dead-beat church as when we first hooked up with Faith Finders," he said. "The temporary Christian barely got a spark going. We had so much expectations and now we're just left with a collection plate full of disappointment."

Padre said for an apology he was willing to let bygones be bygones, but no such apology was forthcoming and he was left with no choice but to sue the agency for fraud.

"We expected someone like Isiah or Jeremiah," Padre said. "We were definitely misled."

An attorney for the agency said that they didn't misrepresent themselves.

"Sometimes it takes a while for miracles to be seen," the attorney said. "God works on his timetable, not ours."

Padre declined to say how much the church paid the temp agency but said he would not recommend the agency to other churches.

"We may be forced to go back to basics," Padre said. "This is definitely a humbling experience."

The agency, known for its Holy Spirit Seal of Approval, says clients are given a 30-day satisfaction or your prayer request back guarantee.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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