Crapper Estate Sues Kohler over Stolen Ballcock Design

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Crapper Estate Sues Kohler over Stolen Ballcock Design

Long thought to be an exclusive Kohler flush toilet feature, the single action "Quiet Whisper" ballcock on all Kohler Designer Series toilets, may indeed be based on original designs from the British inventor of the flush commode, Thomas Crapper.

"Clearly the Crapper ballcock is a superior, elegant design. Long, lean, firm and functional, it was our ancestor's legacy to the Crapper family", says Jeremy William Crapper, great, great, great, great grandson of Thomas Crapper. "Nothing seals the neck of the toilet water inlet quite like our ballcock", adds JW Crapper.

Kohler on the other hand was slow to respond to Crapper's claims, reportedly having their patent attorneys verify the information before meeting the press. Kohler's Chief Ballcock Design Engineer, Manny Slongenhaard commented, "We feel that there is enough difference in the way our ballcock fills up the throat to warrant its own patent. We see no validity to the claim that our ballcock was a copy of Crapper's ballcock, when our ballcock exhibits superior ballcocking performance".

Issuing a personal challenge back to the Crapper family in the U.K., Slongenhaard declared, "I'll put up my ballcock up against yours any day. Mine is wider with a texture that is soft yet firm, and with a superior ability to plug the neck of my poop hole" Asked for any other comments, Slongenhaard said, "We are Ballcocks. Get used to disappointment".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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