Leeds United Pay Price For Playing Without Defenders

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Leeds United Pay Price For Playing Without Defenders
Back to the drawing board for Grayson

Leeds United suffered their third consecutive home league defeat last night, as they were soundly beaten 4-0 by high-flying Cardiff City, whose manager Dave Jones later criticised the Yorkshire club for playing without a single defender.

Leeds started the better of the two sides and went close through Jonathan Howson's 25-yard strike, but as soon as Cardiff got the ball and attacked, Leeds were fucked.

Playing with only midfielders and strikers was always going to be risky, and so it was, as the Bluebirds rained down on Leeds, whose supporters - only 20,747 of them - must have been wishing they had stayed at home and had a cup of cocoa instead.

Cardiff goalkeeper Tom Heaton sent a long punt upfield, which Alex Bruce was unable to deal with, and Leeds 'keeper Schmeichel's misjudgement of the bounce - allowing the ball to go through his legs - left Jay Bothroyd to score into an empty net.

On-loan Wales captain Craig Bellamy almost got a second, with Seyi Olofinjana having a shot blocked from the rebound.

Leeds were opened up again and again at the back, but Cardiff were extremely kind to the Whites with their poor finishing.

The second goal did eventually come as Mark Hudson dispossessed Davide Somma to supply Chopra who fired beyond Schmeichel, and four minutes later, Burke, overlapping on the right, cut the ball back to Bothroyd who crisply slotted the ball into the net.

And it was four on the hour as full-back Naylor smashed in his second of the season from 25 yards with a statuesque Schmeichel unsighted.

Leeds manager Simon Grayson looked disappointed as he told reporters:

"We know their strengths, but we have a good attack, and thought that if we could score 6 or 7, we could keep them down to 4 or 5, which we did."

But Cardiff boss Jones said:

"Leeds are shite, I hope they go down."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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