Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 25 October 2010

image for Ines Sainz Reportedly Secretly Dating Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones
Ines Sainz wears her jeans so tight that when the light is just right, you can actually see her ovaries.

DALLAS - For the past week the word on the streets of Dallas is that Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, who have started off the 2010-2011 football season with a record of (1-4), is secretly dating Mexico's infamously sexy sports reporter Ines Sainz.

Sainz, who wears her jeans tighter than any woman in the entire Northern Hemisphere, is keeping very hush-hush about the whole matter, but a Cowboy Stadium employee, who only wanted his initials revealed Q.Z., stated that he saw Ms. Sainz getting into Mr. Jones' stretch limo on two different occasions.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up my good friend Larry King and he informed me that the Dallas Cowboys organization has three employees with the initials Q.Z.; Quashi Zappaliski, who is a hot dog vendor, Quantino Zippity, who is the Cowboys assistant kicking coach, and QuoFell Zartinbocker, who works in the Cowboys Stadium parking lot.]

When asked for comments, none of the Dallas Cowboy organization members volunteered a word. Every single Dallas Cowboy cheerleader when asked if they had heard about Mr. Jones dating Ms. Sainz replied with the standard phrase "No comment."

The only cheerleader who did not respond with a no comment, comment was Raylene Savannah Fripshacker, 24, of Waxahachie who instead offered up the phrase "Really?"

It is no secret that in the past the Cowboys owner has made his star quarterback Tony Romo break up with his celebrity girlfriend Jessica Simpson, because he felt that Simpson was a jinx that was causing his team to lose.

And just a few weeks ago, Jones made his star receiver Miles Austin break up with his celebrity girlfriend Kim Kardashian because he again felt that Kardashian, like Simpson, was a jinx and responsible for the Cowboys (1-4) record.

Two weeks ago, after the Dallas Cowboys lost to the Tennessee Titans 34-27, Jerry Jones chose to blame the defeat on his wife Mrs. Jerry Jones.

An inside source has revealed, on grounds of anonymity, that he believes that the only reason that Jerry Jones may be dating Ines Sainz is to hopefully bring him good luck and get his team back on the winning road.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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