Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 25 October 2010

image for Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock Says She Wants To Kiss Ex-New York Jets Reporter Jenn Sterger So Bad She Can Taste It!
Bullock keeps the lips imprint of Scarlett Johansson on the lamp table beside her bed.

AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock talking from her Austin mansion confided to a reporter for Tinsel Town Bi-Weekly Magazine that ever since she first laid eyes on Jenn Sterger during a Jets game broadcast that she has wanted to grab her, hold her in her arms, and give her one big, huge French kiss.

Bullock, who is recently divorced from Jesse "The Tattoo Twit" James, has not tried to hide the fact that she has become more and more obsessed with the lips of female celebrities.

The Austin native says that ever since she kissed Scarlett Johansson she felt something stirring in the pit of her playpen (biscuit) that she had never felt before.

She has even confided to her hairdresser FuFi Fondue of Beverly Hills that she is not really sure if this sudden found attraction for the lips of starlets is merely a passing fancy or if it may be a sign that she has deep rooted, suppressed feelings of lesbianism.

Bullock has stated that three of her closest friends Meredith Baxter, Jody Foster, and Chely Wright are all avowed lesbianites and each one has pointed out to her that she should in fact go see a sex therapist to find out if she is also a closet lesbian or if she merely just wants to act like one, as if she was making a movie about Ellen DeGeneres or Melissa Etheridge.

Sandra has pointed out to her upstairs maid, Tammy Jo Tiffenbaker, who is bi-sexual, that lately she has been having dreams about going to a picnic and eating a donut instead of a hot dog.

In a related story. Rosie O'Donnell said that when she was 16, she began having the very same picnic dream. She laughed and said that except with her it was a whole box of Krispy Kreme Donuts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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