Myths of the Bible Part 7
Let's get to Noah and his big, huge, enormous, gigantic, supersized bleeding ark. It baffles me how anyone in their right mind, or indeed, anyone out of their mind, could possible 'believe' this story. Noah is supposed to have built the vessel. OK, maybe he did. Then he loaded it with 2 of every animal on the planet. Yeah right! First, did he go around the world taking notes of how man...
Read full storyMoon landing 'rubbish/garbage' soon to be offered on e-Bay
Yes, get saving because rubbish/garbage, left behind by Buzz and Neil may soon be up for sale on e-Bay. It's believed when trips to the moon become possible for those who can afford them, they may try to offset the cost of their flights by bringin...
Read full storySusan Boyle sculpture and the stand off at the Grassmarket
As the Raving Loonie sculptor is hard at work in her workshop, she is not aware that only 20 yards away a gang of subo fanatics are planning a raid on her Police Box workshop in the Grassmarket, Edinburgh. Guarding the Police Box, 4 kilted Samurai...
Read full storyAmish Renounce Simple Ways; Hope to Complicate Lives by Year-End
Lancaster- During a stunning press conference held earlier today, Amish spokesperson, Martha Lapp, unveiled an ambitious and coordinated plan designed to eradicate the Mennonite's modest and simple manner of living in an effort to complicate their l...
Read full storyDancing On Ice Final will be in 3D
It was announced today that next Sunday's final of Dancing On Ice will be the first live programme to be broadcast in 3D. Now fans of the show will be able to experience the thrills and excitement of watching ex Hollyoaks stars and Daniella Westbr...
Read full storyFrank Lampard And Christine Bleakley Harrassed In Blackburn
It must have been a bad afternoon for Frank Lampard after seeing his team surrender a goal lead to plucky Blackburn Rovers and only take a single point from the game, as opposed to the three he expected. He was then harrassed by local Blackburn folk.
Read full storyLady Gaga Says She Wouldn't Mind Breastfeeding Little Justin Bieber
SEATTLE - Lady Gaga had just finished performing her 87th straight sold out concert in Seattle's Boots of The Lumberjack Auditorium when she was asked about the new Internet sensation Justin Bieber. Lady Gaga said that she has seen the 16-year-old...
Read full storyChubby Brown said to be 'Dead Chuffed'
Chubby is said to be dead chuffed at the recent invite from Gordon Ramsey to appear on The F Word episode in which Gordon and Susan Boyle will be having a "Haggis Cookoff". "Yeah, arm dead chuffed 'onest. Arm real made up and I did 'ear that Simo...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Is A Man!
For years now, many people have been labouring under the misapprehension that Ashton Kutcher is a woman, when all along, Ashton Kutcher was - and still is - a man! Non-movie buffs it seems just thought that Ashton Kutcher was a girl, because of th...
Read full storySimon Cowell upset with Gordon Ramsey
Simon Cowell is extremely upset with Gordon Ramsey. He has just learned that Gordon has indeed invited Susan Boyle to appear on The F Word. Simon is annoyed for a number of reasons: 1) Susan didn't tell him about the invite 2) Simon isn't i...
Read full storyAbe Vigoda Sues All Four Networks After They Keep Listing Him Among Dead
Abe Vigoda who starred in television's Barney Miller and several movies, including The Godfather, is suing ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX as they once again listed him with the stars who had died in 2009 during their last Evening News Report on December 31st.
Read full storyVictoria Beckham Fans The Flames of Her Feud With Charlotte Church
LONDON - Ex-Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has poured a little more gasoline (petrol) onto her feud with fellow songstress Charlotte Church. David Beckham's skinny wife reportedly remarked that even though Charlotte has lost a lot of weight she still...
Read full storyNina Dobrev Of 'Vampire Diaries' Admits She's After Robert Pattinson
Nina Dobrev has admitted that she has set her hat for Robert Pattinson and that she has just as much right as any other female in her pursuit. "I've been hearing about Robbie and Kristen Stewart for what...two years. If she's not making her move...
Read full storyTiger Woods "Domination" Fantasies Revealed By Partner
According to an article posted on several websites and at least one publication, "Lowlights Magazine", a former porn star is telling more about her relationship with Tiger Woods. Joslyn James, who's been the villain of several national articles la...
Read full storyRapture Occurs During Healthcare Vote; Obama and Congress Left Behind
In the most merciful display of God's wrath since Pharaoh's soldiers were drowned in the Dead Sea the long awaited and documented Rapture arrived. Many Christian scholars were not available for comment but unfortunately this intrepid reporter is.
Read full storyMeryl Streep Insists That Her Husband Get His Tattoos Removed Or Else She'll File For Divorce
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Meryl Streep and her husband were in Green Bay picking out some cheese that they plan to serve at a big Easter Sunday party they are having at their $4.3 million Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Blonde Pubes, which once belonged to...
Read full storyThe English Man, The Scot and the Irish Man plus the Summer Olympics
A story was sent to our editor which read as follows: Just before the Last Summer Olympics, an Englishman(John Smith) a Scot (McFeddup) and an Irish man (Paddy O'Stone)made a decision to go to the Summer Olympics. They pooled their money and had enough for the flights and hotel rooms. On arriving at their hotel, close to the Olympic Village, it hit them that they had NO MONEY LEFT TO BUY...
Read full storyImage of Mohammed Found on English Sausage. Iran Declares War and Invades Kielbasastan
World tension, already engorged with blood, was stroked by the news reporting that the image of the great prophet of Islam was found on a banger. Outraged by the West's continued indifference to the sacred icon Iran declared war on Great Britain...
Read full storySusan Boyle sculpture and the Raving Loonie sculptor
Every morning at 4am in Edinburgh, Scotland locals and tourists alike rise early to witness a strange sight. 4 huge Samurai warriors in full Scottish Highland Dress carry a shrouded sculpture on a Mothers Pride bread board from it's hiding place to...
Read full storyObama's Birth Certification Authenticated; Finally
In a stunning deathbed confession or perhaps a feeble attempt at recalling greatness, former funny person Gene Wilder dropped a birth certificate bombshell by revealing the true identity of President Barrack Obama's father; Cleavon Little. Unfort...
Read full storyPope Apologizes for Abuse by Fergus McCarthy
Pope Benedict XVI has released a letter apologizing for years of abuse suffered by Internet writers for TheSpoof.com at the hands of an imposter priest and sometimes author known as "Fergus McCarthy". The seven-page letter, published in Rome Satu...
Read full story'King' Charles promises royal pardon to Thompson and Venables
London - (IRA Mess): Desperate royal wannabe Charles Windsor will issue an official royal pardon to Robert Thompson and Jon Venables when he ascends the throne. The promise to exonerate the killers comes amid revelations (Chapter 666) that the pa...
Read full storyDavid Platt plans to Free Gail
On Coronation Street, David Platt has been plotting and scheming all weekend. David believes that the Street is his real home and that he really lives at no 8 all year. He also believes that Gail is his real mum and thinks the lady, who brings him al...
Read full storyEx-ministers in 'cash for effluent' scandal
London - (Drowning Street): Former government ministers Stephen 'Liar' Byers, Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt have been caught spouting crap in return for hefty backhanders. A TV documentary says the three were videoed talking out of their arses a...
Read full storySpoof Writers Invited to Vatican
Breaking News - Spoof Writers Invited to Vatican Father D.U. Wannabbet, spoke from the pulpit today in an futile attempt to calm his congregation. Both women were screaming and spitting, banging their handbags on the pews and throwing prayer b...
Read full storySusan Boyle has accepted Gordon Ramsey's offer to appear on The F Word
Gordon Ramsey is over the moon and beside himself this morning. (Does that mean there are TWO Gordon Ramsey's?) He has called us this morning to give us the Scoop. Susan Boyle HAS indeed accepted his offer to appear on The F Word. She did have a few conditions: 1)Gordon musn't swear during the show. 2)Sharon Osbourne must NOT be within miles of the studio. 3)No one in the audience...
Read full storyMancunians vs Scousers, Battle of Britain, or Viva Espana vs ex-Scouser, Rooney?!
Man Utd face their arch rivals, Liverpool today, Scousers vs Mancunians an ancient battle with tradition, culture, pride, anguish, joy, tears, and an obvious winner Man U! But does this old fashion, battle of Britain rivalry really mean anything a...
Read full storyA Day After 'Alien Abduction Day" Dems Search Frantically for Kucinich in Order to Vote for Obamacare!
As the historic health care vote looms on Capitol Hill this morning, a horde of secret service agents, the FBI and Air Force Security agents are combing the city in search for Dem Congressman Dennis Kucinich whose vote appears crucial for Obamacare.
Read full storyDavid Miliband in Lip Syncing Row
The Houses of Parliament, London, England, ordinarily a quiet and cheerful place, is today a hot bed of intrigue and conjecture. During one of Labour Foreign Secretary David Miliband's sensational speeches, several opposition MPs noticed that Mr M...
Read full storyChina: You Know when you've been tango'd
Beijing has been shrouded in orange dust as a sandstorm blew hundreds of miles from drought-struck Northern China to the nations capital. Tea an men Square is to be renamed Tango an men Square after the super Orangy fizzy drink that turns everything...
Read full storyWorzel Gummidge attacks Jack Straw
Worzel Gummidge appeared at a news conference today and made a sensational attack on Jack Straw,accusing him of being a disgrace to strawmen all over the World "Jack Straw together with Tony Blair are war criminals responsible for the deaths of milli...
Read full storyDream Diarist: Jonathan Ross
Dear Dream Diarist, please could you explain my dream. I was at an ATM withdrawing twenty pounds, when I noticed that there was a lot of money stuck in the slot. I collected my twenty pounds and this extra money and put them into my wallet. As I was meeting my friend Damien (I don't know anybody called Damien, I do know a Damian, if that helps), I popped into the café where were meeting, and as...
Read full storyChief Examiner puts the 'less' back into lessons
Today, educational giants announced that it was no longer necessary to teach students any factual knowledge in schools. We interviewed the new Asian chief examiner, Fu. King. R. Tard to hear his reasons. Interviewer: So, why should students no longer need to learn facts? Tard: Well, your question is certainly a question, we have no doubt about that. I like to think of questions as thought pr...
Read full storyIreland Declares War On The Vatican
Paddy McSodabread, the Irish state Emperor, this morning declared war with the Vatican city after demands for retribution from the Catholic community prompted decisive and swift action from their government. The Pope responded to the declaration o...
Read full storySubo fans voting in next USA election
It's known that most Subo fans can't read or write too well but they CAN draw an X and a check mark, therefore they are all voting in the next USA election. One fan is quoted as saying: "It's true, we are all voting in the next election. God has spoken to us and told us to vote for the Party whose big ribbon is RED. Who are we to go against our master. He runs the website we are members of.
Read full storyOzzie Osbourne speaks out about Bogus Mothers ripping off people on Mothers' Day in UK
Ozzie is so upset after having read Skoob1999's article in The Spoof. The one about Bogus Mothers. "What the f**k is the world coming to?" asked Ozzie. "A tell yer now for nothing. I'd rip the balls off anyone who tried to scam my Sharon like that. F***ing tossers. SHARON, SHARON. COME 'ERE. A WANT YOU TO 'EAR SOMETHING. Can you 'ang on a minute while I get Sharon down 'ere? SHARON...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush, things you should know about him.
George W. Bush was born on July 6th, 1946 - this makes him 2 years and 2 months older than I am. He served as the 43rd President of the United States from 2001 to 2009. He kept getting re-elected because people found him funny and never knew 'what he would say next'. In 2002 he was made an Honorary Member of the Comics Union and when making his acceptance speak he wore a fake red nose and...
Read full storyDwarfs now operating in O.R.s in Britain.
Actual quote from the end of Middlesbrough Evening Gazette article about a Grangetown man's beating" "The dad's left leg was crushed and deformed and later had to be amputated by surgeons below the knee." Does that mean the surgeons were dwarfs? A headline of another story reads: "POLICE CALLED AS MAN CLIMBS ON TO A GRANGETOWN ROOF" I read the story out of curiosity because I had...
Read full storyHarry Reid: "Special Vote Planned for ObamaCare"
WASHINGTON, DC - After being criticized for the "Slaughter Rule" being unconstitutional, Senator Harry Reid snapped at reporters, saying "if the Republicans want to vote, we'll let them vote ... real good." When asked to clarify if "vote real good" meant "Reconciliation," the Senator replied "you'll find out soon enough." Fortunately, the press corps found Nancy Pelosi nearby and was able as...
Read full storyWho is Gordon Brown really? Some little known facts.
James Gordon Brown (born: 20th February 1951 - making him 3 years younger than I am) is The Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. Here are some little known facts about Gordon: When he accepted the position in Tony Blair's govenment as Chancellor of the Exchequer, waaaaaaaaay back. He had misunderstoon his 'title' and thought he was in charge of setting up games of 'checkers' for other poli...
Read full storyPaul McCartney: Ringo Was the Real Walrus
Yonkers, New York - After a recent date with his fiance' Paul McCartney stopped in a local Pub for a cold one and The Spoof was there to chat with him. "Get away mate I'm just here for a beer to wash down me meds, I have like 15 different ones these days," said Paul, "I don't smoke grass anymore, don't want any, run along." We then showed Paul our official Spoof.com Press ID and he immediate...
Read full storyExtreme skiing: Skiers enjoy easy day on difficult slopes
A snafu that could have proven dangerous turned out to be great for parents of kids in ski school. Ski lift operators mislabeled a bunny slope as black diamond (most difficult, expert only) and dozens of adults flocked to show their parallel tec...
Read full storyMillions of condoms are floating in the Atlantic
The German Ocean transportation giant Hapag-Lloyd Lines reported that the Hapag vessel Hamburg Express Voyage 112 -- Hamburg to Halifax -- was surprised by a mid Atlantic squall that turned nasty. Expected rough seas were encountered 200 miles...
Read full storyBA Strike Is MI5 Plot
The President and CEO of Everybody Against England lashed out today at what he called MI5's 'pathetic' attempt to disrupt his business. "Our 'Everybody Against England' slogan for the 2010 World Cup has struck a chord with football supporters aro...
Read full story"Sex Is a Right" - Proposed US Legislation
WASHINGTON, DC - "Whereas sex is fundamental to the maintenance of the national citizenry of these United States of America, this bill hereby establishes Federal measures to ensure the right of sex to every citizen and resident of the territory gover...
Read full storyEtiquette lessons Part 1 Men - Please 'tuck and sit'
According to the custodian at my workplace, men using public toilet facilities where there is NO urinal are supposed to 'tuck and sit'. He should know what he's talking about. This little know piece of information was given to me when I complained to him that one of the 2 male members on staff keeps leaving the bloody toilet seat UP. (By 'members' I mean 'colleagues', but in this etiquette les...
Read full storySusan Boyle sculpture guarded by Samurai
Somewhere in a secret location in Edinburgh, sits a sculpture that has been seen only by a few. We have not seen it and those who have are sworn to keep the secret. A dangerous band of middle aged, menopausal women, are desperately searching for clue...
Read full story'Ello Me Cockney Sparrers This article will keep you on your Button and Bows.
'Ello me old Mile Ends. Me Plates are sure giving me some Michael Caine. See I've just been t'see the Overcoat Maker coz me old mate went Radio Rental this morning and topped 'iself. Me old Trouble and Strife won't go to the funeral coz she's convinced he was a Dicky Dirt lifter. 'E did 'ave a Trouble and Strife and she 'as a decent pair of Bristols. She is a Widow Twankey but yer can't '...
Read full storyAmerican Workers To Be Paid in Gum
WASHINGTON - From now on, all American workers will be paid in gum. The move to a gum-based economy will totally revolutionize employer/employee relations, result in MUCH fresher breath, and result in FAR fewer cavities. Department of Labor offic...
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