Susan Boyle is contemplating joining a convent as a result of reading that The Spoof's OWN Mark Lowton is joining a Monastery
Satirist Lady G. reports that Susan B is considering joining a convent and becoming a nun. Susan has been reading The Spoof on a regular basis and is aware that this may soon become a purely 'religious' site. She has been reading ALL of the article...
Read full storyChurch to Replace "Touchdown Jesus" Statue Smote By God
A blasphemous landmark along Interstate 75 was destroyed by the Lord God Almighty during severe thunderstorms Monday night, but officials said Tuesday they will defy the Creator, and rebuilt it. Monroe, Ohio police state that a bolt of lightning t...
Read full storyLaurie David Says Al Gore Was Planting Trees, Not Planting His Pole In Her
Laurie David, the wife of television icon Larry David, is a social activist for Environmental issues. She is also now accused of having an affair with former Vice President Al Gore that ended his forty year marriage to wife Tipper. At a press con...
Read full storyDocs in Bam Margera Concussion Quandry: No Brain In Here To Damage.
BAM! That's the last thing Bam Margera heard, when a woman old enough to be his grandmother walloped him in the head with a Louisville Slugger, while Margera was in Los Angeles filming a scene for the upcoming movie, "Jackass 3: Milk It Until Its Dry...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen's Second Mercedes Kills Itself, Using the Steven Hill Method
A second, terrible tragedy has befallen mediocre sitcom linereader Charlie Sheen: A second Mercedes vehicle escaped from his stately home and, once free, threw itself off of a mountain near his home. Police who found the body of the Mercedes ra...
Read full storyFiery Destruction of "Touchdown Jesus" Ruled an Act of God.
MSNBC reports that a 6-story abomination, affectionately known as "Touchdown Jesus," burnt to the ground on Monday night, June 14th, the year of our Lord 2010. The BBC reports that insurance investigators have determined the cause of its destruction...
Read full storyRealm Trembles as 3 Tower Ravens Missing At Muster: Fragile Coalition Threatened!
Glorious England, trembled, swayed, buckled, then forced a stiff upper lip after the apocalyptical news that three (3) of the Tower Ravens were absent at morning muster today prompting a call for an emergency Parliamentary Meeting by con-joined heads...
Read full storyBritney Knocked Up By Man With The World's Smallest Penis
Both Britney Spears and Andy "Handy" Doodler, the man with the world's smallest penis, were recently on the Ellen Show and, from the news from Hollywood report this morning, Britney is wishing she hadn't been there. "I should have stayed home. Ma...
Read full storyKwikfit fitter's Babysitter gets Bitter on Twitter
Anne-louise Scrump (14) of Croyden, finally vented her spleen yesterday using the the popular social networking facility, Twitter. "Mi babys pram weel has been rite down to the metle for over a month now and he's down fuck all about it. One more B...
Read full storyCommodore's Latest Product Looks to Compete with I-Pad
When former CEO for Commodore, Herbert Jack, was surfing the internet he was amazed at how much his old products were selling for on ebay. "I didn't realize there was still a market for our product," said Mr. Jack. "Now that I know these old prod...
Read full story60 Foot Statue of Jesus Seen Crawling Down Interstate I-71
Cincinnati, OH. - A six story tall statue of Jesus thought to have been destroyed by lightening in the small town of Monroe last night was seen instead this morning crawling south on Interstate Seventy-One. The sculpture, 62 feet tall and 40 feet...
Read full storyThe Beckhams to call next son Jabulani Vuvuzela
England football mascot David Beckham has decided his next son will be named Jabulani Vuvuzela Beckham after two of the most annoying pieces of plastic ever invented. The much maligned Jabulani football and the irritating Vuvuzela horn have receiv...
Read full storyLarry David: 'Here's an Inconvenient Truth, Gore Was Shagging my Ex!"
So much for the remaining sugary myth of the ever perfect Al Gore and his College Sweetheart Tipper living in matrimonial bliss for 40 years. It turns out that for the last two years the noxious carbon footprint was unable to 'curb his enthusiasm'...
Read full storyLocal Toad Escapes Godzilla's Grasp in Frantic Pissing Frenzy
Weekly World News, UK Bureau -- Reports coming in from the UK today confirm that a small local toad has miraculously survived a harrowing encounter with none other than Godzilla himself this evening. "I was merely hopping along minding my own damn...
Read full storySuperdrug pulls Katie Price perfume
Reality TV star Katie Price's perfume has been pulled from Superdrug's shelves because of "ethical" reasons, according to the high street store. It coincides with another perfume range, Spoof, by Vacherie, also being withdrawn. That followed a re...
Read full storySleeping Pill Sales Slide as World Cup Continues
Folks having difficulty sleeping are turning their sets to the World Cup matches. The soothing horns, calm announcers and lack of scoring make it the perfect recipe for sleep. "The matches are on at crazy hours so I can usually find one in the mi...
Read full storyEmma Watson to appear in new Porn Venture - Hairy Potter and the River of Jizz
In a bizarre twist, British actress Emma Watson (41) is to abandon her innocence and cash in the on the growing tidal waves of masculine lust flooding the globe, by appearing in kids entertainment conglomerate Sidney's inaugural step into the lucrati...
Read full storyBrothers having a laugh
The never popular and or indeed funny Chuckle Brothers have revealed that they are soon to go into the studio to record the classic songs of the Sixties Soul era. Barry Chuckle, the taller, more irritating one said: 'It has long been a plan for m...
Read full storyU2 re-release Sunday Bloody Sunday as the English admit, it's true!
After grovelling to Northern Ireland Catholics about the happenings at the Bloody Sunday ordeal in 1972 the English Prime Minister has also requested that U2 re-release their sensational LP "Sunday Bloody Sunday". Freedom fighters, Bono and The Ed...
Read full storyDestruction of Jesus Statue an Act of God?
Scientology guru L. Ron Hubbard reportedly believes the lightning strike that burned down a six-story statute of Jesus Christ in Monroe, Ohio was a God-sent signal that Jesus was not God's only-begotten son. Hubbard, who died in 1986, channeled...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Not Trying To Be Slutty, She Just Is
Miley Cyrus may be adding new fans but several of her old ones say they have had enough. "I was wild about Miley for years", stated one 15-year-old. "But now she's turned into a Hick Madonna!" Cyrus told reporters in an interview yesterday that...
Read full storyArmed American Arrested In Pakistan Was After Osama Bin Laden
Gary Brooks Faulkner, a 51-year-old construction from Grand Junction, Colorado, has been arrested when caught by police in northern Pakistan and brought in for questioning. All that is known at the present is that Faulkner had a pistol and a 40-in...
Read full storyBP issues letter of intent to buy 32 centrifugal oil-and-water separators (COWS) from inventor Kevin Costner
Pensacola Florida - Actor Kevin Costner's oil-spill device has all the approval it needs to scoop the goop from the Gulf of Mexico, but is waiting for money from BP, according to the actor and his business partner. BP has issued a letter of intent to...
Read full storyChurch Services Held On Deck Of New Dual-Role Aircraft Carrier
The United States' newest Aircraft Carrier, the USS Ronald Regan, has just begun full operational duty, and most mornings a church service is held on deck to bless the ship and crew. However, this is not always possible, because some mornings the deck is not accessible. For this is a new class of dual-role ship. The incredible truth is that the Ronald Regan is not only a super-carrier, but al...
Read full storyLeo Sayer "Furious" at Blair Snub
Leo Sayer has been described as "livid" by close friends last night, after ex-UK premier Tony Blair declined an offer to stay in his holiday home in Hastings this summer. Pop legend Sayer, 58, flew into a blind rage at the response, which he descr...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Has A Second Mercedes-Benz Stolen and Driven Off A Cliff: Dude - Take The Damn Keys Out of The Car When You Friggin' Park It!
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Well it's a good thing that Charlie Sheen's new Two and A Half Men contract is paying him $2 million per show. The highly spirited actor has just had his second Mercedes-Benz stolen while parked in his driveway and drive...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner: "Legend Werewolf" Will Make You Look Back Over Your Shoulder!
Taylor Lautner, starring in the new John Carpenter movie "Legend Werewolf" says that this movie is definitely no "I Was A Teenage Werewolf". "That old film starring Michael Landon gave werewolf movies a bad name for a long time", stated teen acto...
Read full storyWills and Harry caught petting big Botswana pussy
Botswana - (Fluffy Mess): The pair were caught on camera caressing a Gaborone cougar at the Mokolodi nature reserve today. Wills looked flushed with excitement as the cheetah began purring ecstatically when the Prince ruffled its fur and probed it...
Read full storyAfghan Mineral Billions Obama: Really?"
As news of the billions of dollars in mineral deposits in Afghanistan surfaced today, reporters rushed to The White House to get the President's reaction. "Really?," said President Obama. At the same time as the reporters in DC were questioning th...
Read full storyWas crazed Cumbria psycho Derrick Bird 'one of the rogue Bloody Sunday shooters'?
Northern Ireland - (Conspiracy Theory Mess): Was Cumbria wackjob Derrick Bird one of the original Bloody Sunday shooters investigated by the Saville Inquiry? "We'll probably never know," MoD mandarins muttered inscrutably as reporters besieged Whi...
Read full storyLily Safra fan club fooled again as Giacometti's Walking Man mystery buyer snaps up £35.7million Modigliani
Paris - (Big Art): The reclusive New York trillionaire who spoofed a credulous media into buying the Lily Safra fantasy has been at it again. Last night in Paris he snapped up Modigliani's 1912 almond-eyed limestone head sculpture for a record 43.
Read full storyThe Day the Sausage Died
Good-bye, Jimmy Dean Though I hardly knew you at all You really knew how to grind the pork And spice it up just right... So there I was, this morning, riding the bus home from work, and I'm thinking I might make eggs and toast for breakfast when I get home. And I think, hey, some turkey sausage would be good with the eggs and toast. (Turkey sausage because even though I wrote "pork" in...
Read full storySimon Cowell's dog sh*ts on carpet and gets own show
Simon Cowell confirmed yesterday that his dog, Little Simon, shat on the living room carpet last Saturday and immediately spotted a hole in the market. "Everyone knows I'm a big fan of dog acts. But when I saw little Simon lay a cable at the weekend,...
Read full storyApple to release iPie
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc. today announced the release of their new iPie 1.0, specially designed for the UK market. "This will be a revolutionary change in the way consumers eat pastry," says Jobs, "The basic unit comes ready to eat, but can be...
Read full storyNick Griffin to join Queen in Royal Ascot carriage procession
London - (Fascist Mess): BNP leader Nick Griffin is to ride with the Queen in the 1902 State Landau on Thursday. The seat of honor on Royal Ascot's Ladies Day carriage parade is usually reserved for foreign dignitaries like President Mugabe and Po...
Read full storyBP oil spill charity crosses wires with niche porn website
The massive BP oil leak has caused serious concerns the world over, but it now has a new charity behind it in order to help finance whatever is necessary to rectify the situation. But things are off to a slippery start... Oil Relief was set up by...
Read full storyPiers Morgan approached to replace Larry King who is an extremely well known t.v. celebrity in America
Piers Morgan has, apparently, been approached to take over from Larry King. It is about time SOMEONE took over from Larry King. ANYONE! The aging 'King' looks like he should be in a nursing home, not on television screens. Can you imagine if he...
Read full storyRon Manager vents his spleen at England Team!
When asked what he thought of England's recent form, Ron made the following rant: Aren't they? Wasn't it? Didn't they? 442, 224, 4321?! Pop goes the watsit, goalie, Green, small hands, big ball, mum calling him home for tea, beans on toast, rush goalie, giggsy, giggsy wiggsy, jumpers for goal posts, what a goal! Back of the thing, the shimmy, the shammy, is it? Football crazy, England for...
Read full storyVuvuzela's are Phallic Symbols
Penelope never watched football but she could hear it. 'What's that terrible noise?' she asked her mother 'why on earth are people putting up with that?' 'People are blowing into horns known as Vuvuzela's to make a sound of celebration.' 'Those Vuvu's are like long pricks' said Penelope. 'Yes, that's why men like them darling.' 'Boys at school are very proud of theirs, but they don't b...
Read full storyNice Nick Criticises Labour For Woefully Underestimating Green's Blunder
The Office for Football Responsibility says the taxpayer will have to FOOT THE BILL of nearly £9665 trillion because Labour MISJUDGED the effect of England's hapless keeper Robert Green's failure to catch the ball against lowly USA. In a speech,...
Read full storyGary goes ga-ga for CB'er
TV football pundit and former England international Gary Lineker been embroiled in allegations of having an affair with someone he has never seen. The lusty behaviour occurred last year while wife Danielle was having cosmetic surgery in Hungary.
Read full storyEU considering vuvu ban
"There are more enjoyable ways of becoming deaf." This was the joke circulating yesterday in Brussels after an EU Commission spokesman had explained the current reasoning behind the planned ban of vuvuzelas in the EU at the daily meeting with the pre...
Read full storyAustralia winning World Cup
Lip reading experts worldwide are united in declaring Australia the clear World Cup leader in swearing. One particularly brilliant 'FUCK OFF' from an Australian attacker, when adjudged offside, is headed for a special prize - a miniature kangaroo.
Read full storyDog owners anger at 'turdy bird'
Dog owners are reported to be up in arms at news that UK scientists have genetically modified common pigeons (also known as 'rock' pigeons)to eat dog excrement. The pigeon whose scientific name will be (Columba Excrementus) is a wholly new species. T...
Read full storyPaul Pierce hates coming to L.A
Los Angeles, CA - On Tuesday night in L.A, Boston will try to win the championship against Kobe Bryant and the Lakers which Boston lead the series 3-2. The game is set on ABC and tip off start at 9pm eastern time, 6pm Western time. Boston Celtics wi...
Read full storyBritney Spears Says She's Tired of Miley Cyrus Copying Her "Beaver Shots" Style
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears received the reputation of being #1 when it came to exposing her most intimate body part (i.e. her p*ssy). Brit got to where she could not get out of a car without showing off her cute little hairless biscuit.
Read full storyShakira's World Cup Song "Waka Waka" Has Just Surpassed Justin Biebers #1 Hit "Scratch My Little Nads"
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - A spokesperson for Global Records has just stated that the official World Cup Games song "Waka Waka" has just made it to number one. Shakira sings the song which was co-written by American Idol's Kara DioGuardi and 50s...
Read full storyWitch doctor called in for Serbia
Johannesburg, South Africa. In a desparate bid to improve their World Cup chances, the Serbian football team have employed the use of Afican witch doctors to curse all their coming opponents at this years world football tournament. Mandiwuy Attib...
Read full story'Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina' Story Now EXTREMELY Popular
A story published on TheSpoof.com more than eighteen months ago has proved to be the most successful piece of cliterature one of the site's writers has ever written, it's been claimed. The story 'Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Sp...
Read full storyThe Snapshots of Miley Cyrus' Vagina Clearly Show She "Can't Be Tamed"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus was back at her mansion high in the Hollywood Hills still fuming from the explicit snatchshots that were posted by the blogger to the stars Perez Hilton. Hilton defended the photos saying that (1) Cyrus is a big girl…
Read full storyLetters To The Editor - From Holiday Home Buyers
Sir A word to the wise to any potential caravan buyers out there. I got duped into buying a caravan against my better judgement. I've been paying a bank loan on the bloody thing for five years, but because of a clause in the contract, I couldn't sell it. So I stopped paying. The bank advised me that if I continued to stop paying, they'd repossess the caravan, and I'd also owe them three grand t...
Read full storyNude Celebrity Pics Website Goes Tits Up
Previously popular nude celebrity pictures website www,whoeveryouwantstarkbollocknaked.con has reported an alarming downturn in internet subscribers and is lowering subscription rates to $0.25 a month as it struggles through the recession. The web...
Read full storyPrehistoric Hairs Found In Cretaceous Amber Will Enable Scientists To Recreate Dinosaurs
Palaeontologists in France have discovered two mammal hairs encased in 100 million-year-old amber. The hairs, found alongside a fly pupa in amber uncovered in southwest France, are similar to hair found on modern-day mammals, and it's thought that...
Read full storyRick Lazio Surges In New Poll
NY Governor candidate Rick Lazio is leading Andrew Cuomo in the latest poll. In a contest between the two, Lazio was favored by 48 percent. Cuomo was close behind at 45 percent. The poll, conducted jointly by the Stern Business School at NYU and T...
Read full storyRumors that Joe Lieberman Played the Dad on ALF are False
A story recently ran that indicates Senator Joe Lieberman was the droopy-faced father on the 1980's science fiction sitcom ALF (Alien Life Form). In actuality, Joe Lieberman played the much faster-talking father on the earlier sitcom, Diff'rent Strok...
Read full storyJames Corden Refuses To Fight Gary Lineker In A Cage
Cheeky funnyman comedic cockney actor James Corden, who starred in 'Lesbian Vampire Killers' with that bloke off the Catherine Tate show, last night denied emphatically that he wanted to fight BBC presenter and ex-golden boot winner Gary Lineker. In...
Read full storyLouisiana Swamp Monster Leaving
New Orleans LA: The legendary Louisiana Swamp Monster Fred announced today he is leaving the bayous to find a quieter place to reside. Fred told reporters that Louisiana was very serene until Emperor Napoleon and the French showed up. President Je...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com Changes Focus, Now It's a Religious Site
Readers of TheSpoof.com were shocked this past week to see the number of articles about nuns on the website. They'll be seeing many more, along with ones about priests, rabbis, ministers and other religious figures, according to Mark Lowton, owner a...
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