There were 1,753 spoof news stories published in July 2010. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Synonyms For Masturbation For Women
Applying nail polish remover Auditioning the finger puppets Brushing your afro Buttering your bagel Checking for squirrels Checking the foxhole Checking the oil Checking the status of the I/O port Cleaning my fur coat Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp Defrosting the freezer Dialling the rotary phone Diggin' the stench trench Digging for my keys Doing...
Read full story103 Reasons Not To Get Married!
"When you're single…" 1. You get the whole couch to yourself. 2. There's half as much housework, cooking, and cleaning to do. 3. You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments. 4. You can get home from work at whatever time you like. 5. You get to eat the whole "meal for two" by yourself. 6. There are fewer important birthdays (spouse, kids, spouse's parents, etc)...
Read full storyThe Beautiful Lusciously Sexy Russian Spy Anna Chapman To Showcase Her "Undercover Vagina" in PlayGuy Magazine"
BROOKLYN - Russian spy Anna Chapman was having dinner in Brooklyn's famous Hey Youse Restaurant when she was asked about the rumor going around that she had been asked to appear in a nude layout for PlayGuy Magazine. Chapman, winked and pointed ou…
Read full storyLindsay Lohan nude vagina pics...
...would be a shoddy and deceitful way to title a story that has nothing to do with any of these things, a survey has highlighted. It has been revealed that some writers would deliberately choose a sensationalist title like "Britney Spears vulva!...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Tells Kristen Steward About Date With Ashley Greene
"He sure hasn't been himself", stated one guy who has been a sort of unofficial bodyguard since Pattinson was almost ran over by a taxi in New york about a year ago. "He perked up when the Eclipse Movie thing was going on but he kept looking at As...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Leave For Vacation In Japan
After dodging reporters for several days now, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have told a group of friends to tell everyone they are headed for some 'R & R' in Japan. Alice Johns, part time actress and friend of Stewart, stated that the c...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Secretly Dating Taylor Swift
QUEEN BESS ISLAND, Louisiana - The Ontario, Canada native Justin Bieber was visiting the Bayou State and actually helping out the locals gather up the dreaded, yicky, yucky Louisiana Tar Balls and putting them in tar ball containers. Bieber said t...
Read full storyPaul Gascoigne helping search for Raoul Moat
Police have revealed that as the search for Raoul Moat has entered it's 6th day, the nearby search for Paul Gascoigne is entering it's second week. "We need to speak to Mr Gascoigne urgently about the disappearance of a distillery in Blyth and the...
Read full storyJoran van der Sloot on Levi Johnston: "I Coulda Been Him!"
Incarcerated sociopath, con man and accused murderer Joran van der Sloot was said to have gone round the bend today in his Peruvian Jail when he heard that protege and Pen pal Levi Johnston was about to score big with surprise marriage to Bristol P...
Read full storyLittle Red Riding Hood Announces She's Getting a Makeover
Commuters at Grand Central Station in New York City yesterday were startled to see Little Red Riding Hood holding a press conference at the information desk. She wants the world to know that she's getting a makeover. Wearing her trusty hooded re...
Read full storyLady Gaga Does Not Have A Penis - It's An Overdeveloped Clitoris - Claims London Bus Driver
London bus driver Theopholis Papadopuolos McMurphy today re-ignited the controversy over whether or not Lady Gaga has a penis, by tossing a new theory into the mix. McMurphy postulated the theory that Lady Gaga's penis isn't really a penis at all,...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Sues Acne Medication For Making Her Tits Disappear
Country music singer Taylor Swift filed a lawsuit in a Nashville court yesterday against Clear Skin Acne Medication. Taylor, a teenage winner of multiple Grammy Awards, said in her lawsuit that the product made her already tiny tits "just disappear...
Read full storyShock Revelation - Liam Gallagher Only 5'8" Tall!
Liam Gallagher fans were left shocked, stunned, amazed, and in no small part deflated today by the earth-shattering revelation that Liam Gallagher is only 5'8" tall. The former hell raising Oasis frontman had kind of implied that he was a bit bigg...
Read full storyRonaldo Sells Sperm in online auction
The Flea-bay online auction site is currently inviting bids on sperm, apparently donated by the Real Madrid and Portugal foot-balling super-star, Cristiano Ronaldo. In an interesting move, seen by some as a direct response to a recent report, that...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Sex Scandal Rumours Just Weren't True
Ummm....It appears that Skoob News was actually given duff information regarding the Steven Gerrard sex scandal rumours, which we never elaborated on anyway, because we couldn't be sure. It turns out that Gerrard's wife, Alex, doesn't even have a...
Read full storyMel Brooks Says That Mel Gibson Has Agreed To Star in His Comedy, "Mel Gibson Vs. The Chupacabra"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Film producer, director, and writer Mel Brooks, who produced such great comedies as Young Frankenstein's Frankfurter, Robin Hood - Transvestites In Tights, Space Balls - Galaxy Dicks, Blazing Saddles, and the sequel Burning Hemorrho...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan's New Love Interest Is A Stunning Gal Named Eilat Anschel
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The little lost and found, lost and found girl, Lindsay Lohan may just have finally found what she has been looking for, for so many years. After going through a turbulent up and down relationship with DJ Samantha "Bow-Wow" Ronso...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Doesn't Deny That She Is Pregnant
Not again? Maybe not, but this time it is sounding more truthful and it's being buzzed about more than ever. The latest buzz out of Hollywood, besides the condition of Cheryl Cole, is that once again it is thought that Miley Cyrus is pregnant.
Read full storyUpskirt Photograph Of Kirstie Alley Kills Cameraman!
Willie Jenkins, a cameraman who has worked for several tabloids as a free agent and had moved to a permanent spot on the National Pisser, has lain in wait in a cellar under a popular package store for two weeks waiting to catch any stars coming out c...
Read full storyClimate Crisis Narrowly Averted: Missing Heat Found in Gore's Second Chakra
Climatologists have long insisted that greenhouse gas warming was supposed to create a telltale warming of the troposphere, or of the oceans. The trouble is, instrumental readings show no such evidence. Since global warming theory requires the he...
Read full storyHeidi Montag Says She Is Dating Jesse James
BEVERLY HILLS - Heidi Montag has single handedly helped to make her plastic surgeon a bonafide millionaire. "Plastic Woman" stated that after 38 surgeries, she just recently went in to get a type of 'tune up.' She said that her last surgery was an...
Read full storyApple to Sue iCarly! Says Jobs: "I Trademarked The Name When I Bought Carly Simon's Soul"
Apple Head Organ Recipient, Steve Jobs, says that he'll be suing Nickelodeon and the Cast and crew of the Nick show "iCarly", stating that he's owned the "iCarly" name since be bought Carly Simon's soul in 1978. "Carly wanted to get an ad endorsem...
Read full storyMadeleine McCann found Live and Well
In dramatic news emerging this morning, we can confirm that Madeleine McCann has been discovered alive and well. Unbelievably, she was found hiding under the bed, in the very apartment that she went missing from over three years ago on 3rd May 200...
Read full storyThe Story Behind The Legend of The Tequila Worm
OAXACA, Mexico - For 60 years hombre's (men) south of the border have been competing for the right to be the one to eat the Tequila gusano (worm) which is found at the bottom of a bottle of Mezcal Tequila. The worm comes from the larva found in th...
Read full story274,240 Porn Apps Created in First Hour After iPhone Legal Jailbreak Ruling
In the only growth seen in the American business landscape since President George W. Bush broke the world, software developers created nearly 300,000 pornographic iPhone apps in one hour, after The Library of Congress ruled that owners of Apple Inc.'...
Read full storyDoes Tiger Woods Have Aids?
Although everyone has noticed that the post November 2009 Tiger Woods has not been the same on the golf course, they have put it down to all his troubles off the golf course. "I think it's more than that", stated one Source. "I can't believe Elin...
Read full storyIf you get any e-mails with the subject Stinky Cheese, do not open
You probably heard about e-mails with the subject Stinky Cheese in the Weird Al Yankovic song Virus Alert, it turns out e-mails with the subject Stinky Cheese really are infected with viruses, of course this virus will not translate your documents into Swahili. The virus in these e-mails will however translate documents into either Latin, Sanskrit or Mandarin. The emails are either titled St...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Issues Full Statement
In a hastily convened press conference from Steven Gerrard's temporary home at a hotel in Southport, Steven Gerrard, England and Liverpool captain met with reporters and issued a formal statement in response to the flurry of internet rumours which ha...
Read full storyMan With World's Largest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina Signed Up By TV Channel
Fears among industry insiders that Channel 5 would be dumbed down to greater depths than ever before, following its recent purchase by media tycoon Ricardo Dismal were reinforced today by the announcement that the man with the world's largest penis a...
Read full storyDowns Syndrome Children are Aliens!
At long last it's been settled. The same creepy face and stare, their own language....yes, Down's Syndrome people ARE Aliens who've tried (unsuccessfully) to adapt human hosts to their ambition for world domination. Never mind the Lizards of V or the Big Glowy eyed robot Gort - this is REAL boys and girls and world governments not only know about it, but have long negotiated their 'integration...
Read full storyEmma Watson Does Not Deny Blowing Daniel Radcliffe And Rupert Grint
This one was a turn up for the books as Skoob News confronted Harry Potter actress Emily Watson and demanded to know if she had, in fact, blown Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint, her Harry Potter co-stars. Prompted by showbiz correspondent, Buffty...
Read full storyEngland's Louise Minchin of The BBC Has Been Asked To Replace Katie Couric As CBS Anchor
NEW YORK CITY - Top executives of CBS News have reportedly asked BBC presenter Louise Minchin if she would like to move to America and replace Katie Couric as the anchor of the CBS Evening News. One of the top level CBS executives Vice-President W...
Read full storyCheryl Cole To Marry Derek Hough - Ashley Cole To Be Best Man
Reports are filtering through that Cheryl Cole is to tie the knot with Dancing Derek Hough later this year in Las Vegas and that Ashley Cole is to be the best man. Cheryl, who is rumoured to be considering entering Dancing With The Stars with Danc...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato To Star With Jay Leno In "The Adventures of Mr. Potato Head"
LOS ANGELES - Walt Disney Productions in association with Lions Face Motion Pictures has just announced that they will soon begin production on the non-animated film The Adventures of Mr. Potato Head. The motion picture will star teen stars Justin...
Read full storyTeaching Robots Fired for Bad Behavior
When the New Trends School in California announced at the beginning of summer that all their human teachers were being replaced by teaching robots, there was weeping and the gnashing of teeth. That was from the teachers. On the other hand, students...
Read full storyHillary Clinton resigns as Secretary of State, plans Presidential run in 2012
Hillary Rodham Clinton said in a press conference that she intends to resign as Secretary of State and run for President of The United States. When asked why, Hillary responded "I am fed up with Barack Hussein Obama, I admit his Presidency is ille...
Read full storyX-Factor Winner Joe McElderry Says He Really Isn't Gay But His Boyfriend Is
LONDON - The winner of this past season's X-Factor, Joe McElderry of South Shields, Tyneside, was sitting in Little Limey O'Shea's Pub when he was asked if the rumors of him being gay are in fact true. McElderry, put down his Shirley Temple drink,…
Read full storyIran Morals Police Arrest Woman For Wearing Crotchless Panties Under Burqa
Dateline Tehran: A 63 year old woman was arrested today by the morals police for allegedly wearing crotchless panties under her burqa. The woman, the morals officer explained, was caught flashing a young male in his twenties who complained that...
Read full storyDoggy Bag For Life
Most major supermarkets are now operating a Bag for Life policy. Keen to match this environmental image, restaurants are going to follow suit, and offer a Doggy Bag for Life. "Most people have a favourite restaurant," said Mark Downs, head of Grea...
Read full storySexy Super Spy Anna Chapman's Ginger Vagina Deported To Moss Cow
Russian stand-up comedienne, super spy, sex bomb, and holder of an allegedly ginger vagina, Anna Chapman, was today deported by US Immigration Services for spying. And having a ginger vagina. Chapman, who allegedly (no reporting restrictions he...
Read full storyApple Opens Shanghai Store, iPads Protest
Saturday's opening of an Apple store in Shanghai did not go exactly as planned. A dozen iPads did not do their company proud. On their arrival on Thursday, they kept on ordering Chinese takeout and ate much more than they should have. Then, o...
Read full storyLady Gaga Admits That It's True - She Has Cottage Cheese Thighs
BROOKLYN - Lady Gaga showed some of her fans and passersby that she could also be known as Lady Gag-Gag. The famed singer was seen wearing a black studded teddy, with indigo black fishnet stockings, and midnight black Velcro suspenders that basic...
Read full storyBrenda Song and Boo Boo Stewart Are Secretly Dating
HOLLYWOOD - Brenda Song's pedicurist, Babette "Bitzy" McHelmut, has stated that Brenda confided in her that for the past week she has been dating one of the stars of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Boo Boo Stewart. McHelmut said that Brenda told her t...
Read full storyWhat Was Kristen Hiding With Her Hand At Twilight Eclipse Event?
While all the cameras were flashing and the whole crew were available at the premier of Twilight: Eclipse, why was Kristen Stewart hiding her forehead? Immediately after the event, as Stewart had left the stage early, every reporter went out to ge...
Read full storyJustin Bieber & Taylor Lautner Piss Off the UK, & Video Proof Anna Chapman's Pubes are Red!
United Kingdom -- Well it's been a busy week to say the least. Not since Miley Cyrus systematically defiled the delicate sensibilities of much of the country has the UK found itself collectively seething over yet another North American stage act.
Read full storyVikings were the first people on the moon
Remember when Peggy Hill told Dale Gribble that Vikings were the first people on the moon and she thought she was making it up? Well guess what, it is the truth all along. A new recent study finds that the Vikings had advanced technology they kept...
Read full storyFairy Tales For Tourettes sufferers. Goldibolox and the three bears
Once upon a time, a little slut named Goldibolox was walking through the forest. She came upon a small house, and thought, hello, I think I will burgle that place. The little bastard broke a window and crept in. After searching the house and finding nothing, she realised they were working class wankers that must be on the fukin dole. Feeling a bit pekish, she went into the kitchen, there, on the...
Read full storyPaul The Psychic Octopus Is English!
Those bloody Germans have been at it again. Not satisfied with finishing 3rd in the World Cup, hammering England 4-1, and marmalising the Argies 4-0, they wheel out a bloody psychic octopus. What they keep rather quiet about though, is that Paul t...
Read full storyMyspace fights against loss of Market Share
Social networking site has been losing ground to Farcebook since its arch rival set up shop on the other side of the street. They tried a niche pop group advertising, but Farcebook groups had more adherants, and the bands abandoned Myspace in favour...
Read full storyAshley Greene Apologizes To Kristen Stewart
Actress Ashley Greene has apparently apologized to Kristen Stewart over the spat the last two weeks concerning Robert Pattinson. As still another "As The Twilight Turns" rumor runs it's course, like always, there was a little truth and a lot of ad...
Read full storyJohn Terry And Steven Gerrard To Holiday Together In Benidorm In Bonding Exercise
Unreliable sources reliably inform us unreliably that John Terry and Steven Gerrard are to holiday together in Benidorm with their respective partners in a teambuilding cum bonding exercise - following England's monumental World Cup fuck up, which th...
Read full storyLiverpool Sign Joe Cole - Cheryl In Talks
Liverpool boss Roy Hodgson completed his first signing in what is being looked upon as an extensive restructuring programme, when he secured a four year contract for out of contract midfielder Joe Cole. Insiders say that the new kop boss has set h...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent: The Denver Belly Dancers, Kaya and Sadie Told To Pack Their Bags...Ahh Suitcases And Go On Back Home
HOLLYWOOD - In what Nick "The Stick" Cannon called one of the biggest surprises in the two years that he has been hosting America's Got Talent, the Denver belly dancing duo of Kaya and Sadie were sent home by the judges. Piers Morgan said that alt...
Read full storyAnna Fermanova outguns Anna Chapman in the bikini stakes
Texas - (Hairline Trigger): Looking remarkably lovely - like a teenage Paris Hilton, maybe! - the 35-22-34 Latvian-born 24 year-old's itsy-bitsy string two-piece is an eye-catching little number. Modelled by stunning blond Texan beautician Anna...
Read full storyChelsea Clinton: Horse Back Riding Caused my Hymen to Break, But I Had It Fixed In London Just in Time!
In a late breaking story in the American Medical Journal, Chelsea Clinton admits to how she broke her Hymen and what she did about it prior to her arranged marriage in Rheinbeck, NY taking place this weekend! According to the attending physician D...
Read full storyLady Gaga Sues Madonna, Ace of Base for Plagiarism. " 'La Isla Bonita and 'Don't Turn Around' Sound Exactly Like Alejandro!'
Popular recording artist Lady Gaga, voted 'Most Respected Artist of The Decade' by AutoTune Afficionado magazine, is suing some of the biggest names in music, but for good reason. They are stealing Gaga's records. The suit filed in Federal Cour...
Read full storyCouple Having Sex Slammed To Ceiling During Plane Turbulence!
John and Esther Mathers were in the wrong place at the wrong time, mainly aboard the United Airlines plane that ran into so much turbulence that they had to make an emergency landing in Denver, Colorado. Though John and Esther were only bruised, t...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Finds A Catcher's Mitt In His Hamburger
VENICE BEACH, California - Justin Bieber and one of his best friends, Nathan Kress, from Nickelodeon's hit show iCarly stopped in to have some hamburgers and fries at Hungry Hanks Humongous Hamburger Haven. After Justin had taken the second bite o...
Read full storyEminem Admits California Gurls is Better Song Than Love The Way You Lie
In 2007, Eminem said his career was in limbo. Sadly, for those of us with ears, Em has since "Relapsed" and is now in "Recovery." And, while Eminem currently holds Billboard's #1 position with 'Love The Way You Lie', he believes there are plenty...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato To Record The Britney Spears Hit Song "My Skin Is Just Itching To Be Touched"
LOS ANGELES - Three of the most popular teenage singers in American have signed to record the song that Britney Spears took all the way to number one back in March, "My Skin Is Just Itching To Be Touched." Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovat...
Read full storyManchester City Thought They Were Getting David Villa Not David Silva
World's richest club Manchester City have admitted they've made a major pre-season blunder after signing Spanish winger David Silva for £24m - they thought he was David Villa. The bloomer came to light today after City organised a Press conference...
Read full storyVan der Sloot Goes Mental When He Finds Out Natalie Holloway Might Be Alive & "Friends" with Levi Johnston On Chat Site!
As if it couldn't get any worse for incarcerated Peruvian Jail Queen Joran van der Sloot, today he found out from sadistic guards that there is a good chance that Natalie Holloway is alive and well living in Thailand! On a thread from 'Pattaya Gir...
Read full storyReview: Tarantino's Porno stars P!nk
Before he became famous as the director of Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino had already made a movie, but up until recently, he had managed to keep it quiet. Called Pimp Friction is was pornography of the most base nature. After losing his laptop containing the entire film, in a home invasion in 2007, Tarantino's film was released onto the internet by the thieves. With the fil...
Read full storyPaul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers
The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's N...
Read full storyPattinson, Stewart: No Wedding Plans Until Twilight Is Over
Robert Pattinson has told reporters that once the Twilight series is over and done with, he and Kristen (Stewart) will talk about any wedding plans. Pattinson stated that it was extremely difficult for them to be together anywhere while the "Twili...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus and Taylor Lautner Doing The 'Do' In Detroit
DETROIT - The little girl who wants to be a big girl real bad and her new friend Taylor Lautner were reportedly in Detroit, aka MoTown hanging out and letting it all hang out. Miley who has pole danced, lap danced, and gone knicker-less in the pas...
Read full storyAnalysis: Three Things H&R Block MUST Do To Prevent Bankruptcy.
Write this on a rock: H&R Block is f--ked. With the defection of CEO Russ Smyth to a "large company in Chicago" which Smyth refuses to name, Block is on its 257th CEO in 10 years. Field and corporate leadership is now trying out "Configuration Plan ZZ", and still Kansas City's jade-green monolith is hemorrhaging cash at an alarming rate. Here is the solution. 1.) Pick a team: Company...
Read full storyBob Dylan Tells A Story
Sitting around a closed Cafe Wha? in New York in the early morning hours were Bob Dylan and several old friends that are still around, exchanging stories. "You see, we had to perform several times a night sometimes those nights at the old coffee houses and cafes and neither Tiny Tim nor myself had had anything to eat since the night before. So we were back in the kitchen looking for something a...
Read full storyController Of Sexy Spy Anna Chapman's Vagina Subject To CIA Manhunt
Washington DC - Friday - The Central Intelligence (?) Agency today announced the launch of an international manhunt, with the objective of arresting the controller of sexy Russian ginger spy Anna Chapman's vagina. It is thought that since Ms Chapm...
Read full storyOksana Grigorieva Says She Has Nude Photos of Mel Gibson and Britney Spears
LA BREA, California - Mel Gibson's ex-girlfriend and ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva was sitting on the front porch of her trailer house at The Left Coast Sunset Trailer Park, located two miles from the famed La Brea Tar Pits. She was speaking wi...
Read full storyEmma Watson - Just Not That Kind Of Girl - Doesn't Do Nude Shoots
Friends and supporters of the actress, Emma Watson - Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies - have finally had a belly full of bullshit stories circulating on the internet purporting to show Emma nude, naked, wearing a tiny bikini in Hawaii, or...
Read full storyCheryl Cole and Derek Hough Announce Their Engagement
DUBAI, India - Cheryl Cole and her American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough were vacationing in Dubai after a whirlwind romance that has seen them each fly to each others respective side of the "Pond." The two lovebirds were spotted check...
Read full storyRaoul Thomas Moat - Gateshead Gunman Still On The Loose
Ex-convict Raoul Thomas Moat, who is wanted by the police for shooting one man dead, seriously wounding his former partner, and later shooting a police officer in an unprovoked attack, is still on the loose. Police suspect that the crazed gunman i...
Read full storyRoyal Freak Hospital porn movie all the rage
London - (Colostomy Mess): Footage from a hardcore movie shot in London's iconic Royal Freak Hospital has gone viral on the internet. 'Massive-Boobed Nympho Nurses on Ketamine' was shot in the North London infirmary's urino-genitary ward last year...
Read full storyAshley Cole dumps Sarah Purnell...by text.
Following our revelation yesterday, that Ashley Cole's latest conquest is Russian-born lady-boy, Lickya Balsov, we can today reveal that Cole has dumped Sarah Purnell....by text! Purnell, a 23 year old lap-dancer, had been linked romantically with...
Read full storyHarrods Bangkok Store Proving Popular With Customers
Harrods, the exclusive Knightsbridge store recently sold by Mohammed al-Fayed to Qatar Holdings for a sum of £1.5 billion, has proved a roaring success with customers at its new branch in Bangkok. Sadly, I do not know where the store is located.
Read full storySome kinda Michael Jackson/Debbie Rowe arrangement in Cristiano Ronaldo baby son custody?
Portugal - (Reuterus & Kaka Mess): Was the Portuguese football captain's baby son bred to order? An announcement on social nitworking site Twatter! claims Ronaldo Jr, aged three weeks, is coming to live with Pop in Portugal. And that his...
Read full storyBedbugs Leave NYC Beds, First Look at WHY
According to "Dinner and a movie: Experts say bedbugs favor feasting on moviegoers in cushy theater seats," an article posted yesterday at NYDailyNews, NYC bedbugs are on the move. And movie theaters aren't their only "targets." According to the ar...
Read full storyGhost Photos Of Michael Jackson At Graceland Proven Authentic
A couple of Elvis Presley fans taking almost 200 photographs were astounded when they placed them on their computer. There were five different photographs of a white-looking Michael Jackson in the background! But why were they in pics at Graceland...
Read full storyVegas Flooded with Leftover America's Got Talent Contestants Who Can't Pay for Trip Back Home
Bad news for America's Got Talent contestants who find themselves in Vegas with no chance of going on to Hollywood and no chance of getting a plane ticket home either-America's Got Talent overshot its' budget and can't pay for return tickets. "I...
Read full storyThe Ku Klux Klan Turns Down Mel Gibson For Membership Saying He Is Way Too Unbalanced, Crazy, and One Hell of A Friggin Racist
TUCSON, Arizona - The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea, Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz was asked if the Australian actor Mel Gibson had in fact recently applied for membership into th...
Read full storyUlrika Jonsson reveals how she got so skinny
Ulrika Jonsson, Celebrity Big Brother winner, star of Shooting Stars, Swedish hottie and former lover of Sven Goren Erikson, is to reveal how she shed ten stone (sixty three kilos) in a new book due out in Autumn. Last year, Jonsson felt that she...
Read full storyTom Mix And Cement: Cowboy Idol And Horse Buried Next To Each Other
Tom Mix, the first "King of Cowboys" and the actor who defined the clean-cut cowboy image and who always "saved the day," was buried next to his horse, Cement, at Forest Lawn Memorial Cemetery nearly 70 years ago. Tom Mix was born January 6,1880 a...
Read full storyPaul Gascoigne Takes Over as Head of United Nations, Bin Laden Surrenders
In breaking news from UN Headquarters in New York; North-East piss artist and over-rated has been footballer Paul Gascoigne has been appointed Secretary General of the United Nations with immediate effect. Gazza, ebullient from his first foray int...
Read full storyParis Hilton Charges Of Making Nude Video At World Cup, Marijuana Smoking Dropped
A court in South Africa has dropped a Marijuana-smoking charge against Paris Hilton along with a deal over the nude video made during the World Cup in South Africa. Ms. Hilton appeared late Friday in a FIFA World Cup courtroom after being arrested...
Read full storyCook Mistakes Paul the Psychic Octopus for Raul the Tasty Octopus and Cooks Him
Things went horribly awry in Oberhausen, Germany when an order for ten octopi was filled by the local aquarium and shipped to Werner von Schottenstein's Clam Grill and Oyster Bar for the day's menu. Paul the Psychic Octopus appears to have been mista...
Read full storyJohn Terry Demands Showdown With Fabio Capello Over Raoul Moat Publicity
Sources inform us that former England skipper John Terry has demanded a showdown with England boss Fabio Capello over the unwarranted publicity accorded to Tyneside gun nutter Raoul Moat. It seems that Terry, who played no part in any disharmony b...
Read full storyMegan Fox Sets The New Trend In Transformers 3
Hot actress Megan Fox, who has just married boyfriend, Brian Austin Green last week in Hawaii, may have set a trend that will help a lot of new performers but hurt others. In Transformers 3, Fox has supposedly been replaced by a model from Victori...
Read full storyeBooks Outsell Hardback Books, Amazon Kindles Celebrate
Kindles were ecstatic this week when they read in The New York Times that Amazon had announced that, " . . . for the last three months, sales of books for its e-reader, the Kindle, outnumbered sales of hardcover books." To celebrate, Kindles stop...
Read full storyDowny fabric softener changes name due to association with Downs Syndrome
Downy fabric softener has recently gone through an image change, a scent change, and now an added name change. The long standing household brand will be re-marketed onto the shelves of supermarkets with the name 'Softie' as early as August, 2010.
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Shows Youth How To Grab Ass!
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart surprised more of their fans by showing up at a small town in Illinois at the showing of "Twilight: Eclipse" as they have been doing for over a week now. "The Movie people have scattered our cast members so that w...
Read full storyH&R Block CEO Alan Bennett: "Ignore Richard Breeden's Hand Up My Ass, I Am Not His Puppet."
Richard C. Breeden, former Chairman of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission and current Orchestrator of Evil as H&R Block Chairman, has forced the Board to rename Alan Bennett as CEO of H&R Block, the second time he's been CEO in 33 mo...
Read full storyBody of Queen Elizabeth I Posed Nude For New York Magazine Under Pseudonym "Helen Mirren"
Strangely, the body of Queen Elizabeth I, decomposing since 1533, was photographed nude for New York Magazine. What's more, she's disparaging an Academy Award winning actress by using the pseudonym "Helen Mirren." "Of course its not Helen," sai...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Says He'll Visit Lindsay Lohan In Prison
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Teen heartthrob Justin Bieber has reportedly told one of his close friends Kim Kardashian that he plans to visit Lindsay Lohan once she gets settled into her new jail cell at The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women in Los Angeles. Jus...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Says That Courtney Love Called Him A "Dick" Simply Because She Is A "Cunt"
LOS ANGELES - One of America's 'not-so-good-looking' women Courtney Love has called one of the most popular young actors in the nation a "Dick." Love was eating a Sushi Pizza at L.A.'s The Pompous Pizza Parlor when she was asked what she thought a...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Visits Disneyland and Gets Goosed By Donald Duck
ANAHEIM, California - Queen Elizabeth, 84, but who really doesn't look a day over 82, visited the world famous Disneyland Amusement Park with her English Royal Entourage of 129 people. Earlier in the day her Majesty had addressed the United Nation...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Council blamed over road-signs
Councillors for the Isle of Wight are up in arms with the Highways Agency. A new road sign has been erected on Forest Road heading towards Somerton (pictured), which plainly states "Isle of White". "We are not amused," said Ophelia Keyhole, 39, wife of Jeremiah Keyhole, leader of the Isle of Wight Chamber of Commerce. "The Isle of Wight has been called this for centuries, how can the highway...
Read full storyPattinson, Stewart & Lautner Snub Twilight Saga: Eclipse UK Premiere
It's finally here! The latest, reputedly the greatest, Twilight movie - Twilight Saga: Eclipse - premiered in the UK yesterday, writes Vacuous Drivel Correspondent, Lucy Lastick. Devon's Cullompton Cinema was the super-glam venue chosen by Team Tw...
Read full storyCheryl Cole - past love revealed as Raoul Moat
Geordie lass turned good, Cheryl Cole has been revealed as a former partner of madman Raoul Moat. Information from an exclusive source has confirmed that reports of her recent "illness" due to "malaria" was a rouse to protect her from the madmans mu...
Read full storyVenezuela To Sue South Africa Over Vuvuzela Mix-up
The government of Venezuela is to take legal action against the South African government over the confusion that has arisen between the Caribbean paradise and the vuvuzelas that have been relentlessly blown at the 2010 FIFA World Cup. Venezuela is...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and P Diddy! Whats all that about??
Why would a 40 year-old man give a fresh-faced boy a £131,000 super-car for his 16th birthday? That's the question that many are asking, following revelations that 'P-Diddy' Sean Combes, presented baby-faced singer Justin Bieber with a white Lambo...
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