A better mouse trap?
(Seattle) Students at the University of Washington have discovered a novel approach to combating cockroaches that can be found in many kitchens. Members of the freshman AP class combined diet soda and corn chips to produce a substance lethal to th...Read full story
Isle of Wight News - Newby residents asking for new vicar
Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight are asking for a new vicar. A number of reasons have been given as to why they are not satisfied with the present vicar: 1. He's tone deaf and as he is the choirmaster he inflicts unnecessary suffering on the ears of the congregation, having put together a choir of individuals who can't 'hold a note'. 2. He is dyslexic and his sermons - advertised on the...Read full story
Anti - Nwslttr
Hllo Frinds, This months dition, will rval why our popl must avoid th lttr that must not b mntiond. It is clar, from th prss covrage, that as a socity, w ar bing bastadisd for our blifs. Why should w hav a languag that is dominatd by a singl lttr? Last wk, Brothr John Pasmold, was houndd in th strt for asking dirctions in our own dialct. H was thrown to th ground and hit with a larg stick, w...Read full story
Bob Dylan Tells A Story
Sitting around a closed Cafe Wha? in New York in the early morning hours were Bob Dylan and several old friends that are still around, exchanging stories. "You see, we had to perform several times a night sometimes those nights at the old coffee houses and cafes and neither Tiny Tim nor myself had had anything to eat since the night before. So we were back in the kitchen looking for something a...Read full story
Michelle Obama's Mother Blabs "Obama Ordered Oil Leak"!
While President Obama's Mother-In-Law Ms. Marian Robinson thought no one could possibly be listening in, or maybe she just doesn't care much for her son-in-law, was talking to a visiting close friend in a back room of the White House, she apparently...Read full story
Cher Blows Off Ass With Party Fireworks!
The singer Cher is reportedly in stable condition this morning after having her ass shot off during a fireworks session last night. "Cher had all these great bangers and cherry bombs and lots of other stuff and invited some kids over so they could...Read full story
Robert Pattinson Strikes Back At Nina Dobrev!
After a recent article in which Nina Dobrev stated that she had the advantage over other women in playing vampire roles on television and in the movies, Robert Pattinson has struck back. "I'm not disputing what Ms. Dobrev said in the interview abo...Read full story
Some kinda Michael Jackson/Debbie Rowe arrangement in Cristiano Ronaldo baby son custody?
Portugal - (Reuterus & Kaka Mess): Was the Portuguese football captain's baby son bred to order? An announcement on social nitworking site Twatter! claims Ronaldo Jr, aged three weeks, is coming to live with Pop in Portugal. And that his...Read full story
Letters To The Editor Which We Retrieved From The Bin
Sir I used to quite enjoy browsing your website, and reading salacious tales about vaginas, vuvuzelas, and Victory-V lozenges. However, I feel that I must complain about some of the site's current advertisers. The ones with all the little brain teasers. I come here to laugh at the rude stories, not sit a mock GCSE Maths exam. I mean, if I qualified for MENSA membership, I'd hardly be reading Sp...Read full story
Fox Attack, from Hackney to Hollywood
It has been announced today that the story of the twin girls attacks by a Fox in London is to be made into a big budget Hollywood film. The film is to be jointly financed by 21st Century Fox, Universal, Warner Brothers, Leopard Films and the BBC, wit...Read full story
Cristiano Ronaldo denies reports that he is a father
In shocking news earlier today, Cristiano Ronaldo seemed to announce on his unofficial web-site that he had become a father. The "news", repeated on the 25 year old, Real Madrid star's Facebook and Twitter pages, said simply 'It is with great joy...Read full story
Imprisoned British Army Officer, Bill Shaw, is cleared of bribing Afghan
A British Army Officer, Bill Shaw, who had been sentenced to two years in prison for bribing an Afghan, has today been acquitted of all charges. Our American and Canadian readers will probably understand why a prisoner would WANT to bribe an Afgha...Read full story
Who put the C*nt in Scunthorpe? By Simon Sharmain
It is documented, that 1500 years ago, the Normans and the Vikings staged a battle on the beaches of Scunthorpe to decide who would rule England. The protagonists on both sides had good reason to want the victory. There was only one pier and only one chip shop on the promonade. The victor would have money and power, and ultimatley have planning permission to open an amusement arcade. This wo...Read full story
Isle of Wight News - Let's Hear It For Our Unique Tourist Attractions
Eric Ladle, General Manager of the island's Tourist Information Centres, told us yesterday that Island Tourism are delighted with the summer season so far. However, they do have one slight concern. 'While we are delighted with the summer season so far, we do have one slight concern', Eric Ladle told us. 'We only have one slight concern, as we are delighted with the summer season so far. But,...Read full story
Isle of Wight News - "Snoods Galore!" Open At Last!
Sally Kettle has high hopes for her new venture Snoods Galore!, which opened for business on Union Street, Ryde, last Tuesday, with a special "opening day open day". The open day was a great success. Prospective customers were invited to sample the unique wares on offer at Snoods Galore! There were snoods to try and exhibitions to enjoy. Emily Pratcaller and Vickie Lamprey wore a succession of...Read full story
Susan Boyle to become judge on 'Britain's Got Talent'.
Simon Cowell confirmed today that Susan Boyle would replace Amanda Holden, as the female judge on the next series of 'Britain's Got Talent'. Holden (39), regrets that she will be unavailable for the next series, as she pursues other career opportu...Read full story
Lady Godiva's heard from God
Lady Godiva has just contacted the offices of The Spoof to let them know that God has received her application for his job. The application was accompanied by several references from fellow Spoofers, one of whom believes it's time a woman took over. Lady Godiva would like to thank Aubergine Underwood for her support with her application. God is said to be considering taking a 'Gap Year' as the...Read full story
Fighting over Penelope
When Penelope went to the Football match to see her beau Terence play, in order to shout 'Terry is a wanker' for all to hear, she was disappointed. Terence wasn't playing. When she got home her mother was in a flustered state. 'Sebastien's got a terrible black eye. He won't talk about it.' 'Oh.' 'Your friend Barbarella called and wanted a word with you'. 'Oh'. Penelope had a c...Read full story
Blair to solve unemployment problem
Tony Blair, former Prime Minister, has announced a plan, which he has organised in coalition with the Queen, to deal with the problem of unemployment. He is to take on many of the civil servants and industrial workers when they are made redundan...Read full story
Isle of Wight News - Self-Serve Checkout Line Problems
While bringing a welcome touch of modernity to town the brand new high tech self-service checkout line at the Trashco supermarket on Asda has encountered problems. Store manager, Reg Jobsworth says "We are pretty high on the new system and are still sorting out the bugs but believe the new hi-tech self service checkout line will ultimately save our customers money by reducing the cost of labour...Read full story
Smoking Prolongs Life
A recent study has shown, that smoking can prolong the life of the average person in the United Kingdom. Experts have studied several hundreds of people over the last 10 years with remarkable results. In one study, a number of 5yr olds were giv...Read full story
Isle of Wight News - Norma Ferkin sues local council over husband's death
Isle of Wight News - Norma Ferkin, wife of the late Buster Ferkin is suing Ryde council for the wrongful death of her husband. (For details of Buster's demise, read Skoob's article about Mr.Ferkin - you should read it before you read this article actually.) She told us, "He was hounded, I say 'houded', by the bloody neighbours just coz our fence was getting a bit sad looking.. I told him jus...Read full story
Doggy Bag For Life
Most major supermarkets are now operating a Bag for Life policy. Keen to match this environmental image, restaurants are going to follow suit, and offer a Doggy Bag for Life. "Most people have a favourite restaurant," said Mark Downs, head of Grea...Read full story
Poor Chinese Inventor Receives International Grant to Produce 'Nipple Bra'
MAINLAND, China - It's not every day you have a man thinking about how to take the stress off a woman's nipples and liberating them, but that is precisely what a male Chinese inventor by the name of Hung Low Le in the small town of Chengdu has on his...Read full story
Gary Glitter becomes a "born again sheep - shagger"!
After years of following a career as a "dirty old man" Gary Glitter has seen the light at last and become a born again "sheep-shagger"! Hounded by the press and banned from many countries after pursuing his ex-love, female children in Asian countr...Read full story
Emergency Legislation bans "Foxist" propaganda.
In the wake of mounting terrorist attacks by Foxes, the Government has today brought in new emergency legislation to ban entertainment that glorify Foxes and other dangerous vermin. Amongst the titles banned are the film and book "Fantastic Mr Fox" a...Read full story
Before the Next Teardrop Falls'- part II
In early 1992, Kabul was captured, and the guerrilla alliance set up a new government consisting of a 50-member ruling council. Rabbani became interim president and Hekmatyar prime minister. Later, Hekmatyar and Dostum laid siege to Kabul, fighting Rabbani, the president and his Defense Minister Ahmed Shah Massoud, later killed. From 1992 to 1996, Hekmatyar and Dostum destroyed 70% of Kab...Read full story
Yellow Teeth Stories on Spoof Get Highest Ratings
Advertisements cleverly disguised as stories written by one of the Spoof's most excellent writers are getting the most 5-star ratings of any stories in the Spoof's history and are propelling their unknown author to the number one spot on the Spoof ra...Read full story
66,000 Pounds of Bison Meat Recalled!
A Colorado company is recalling about 66,000 pounds of ground and tenderized bison meat that may be contaminated with a potentially deadly strain of E. coli, according to the U.S. Department of Manifest Destiny, Westward Ho! Division. The Departme...Read full story
England, Italy, France & Argentina Contemplate Joining Nigeria In 2 Year Soccer Ban After German Blitzkrieg!
Disgruntled soccer mavens disgusted with their countries' performance in the recent World Cup competition after being totally dominated by a committed German Team, have called a Soccer Summit with Nigeria's President "Goodluck Johnson" to discuss pu...Read full story
Government Ministers Anagrams
Prime Sinister of the UK The Rt Hon David Cameron - Inadvertent chard homo Deputy Prime Sinister, Lord President of the Council The Rt Hon Nick Clegg - Right lengthen cock First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, Creep William Hague - A huge William Chancellor of the Pinching Exchequer The Rt Hon George Osborne - She to bog Northerner ego S...Read full story
Police and Special Forces invade Katie Price's Wedding
Armed police and special forces swooped on the wedding ceremony of Katie Price and Alex Reid yesterday, following speculation that Osama bin Laden had been invited to the event. The blessing between Price and cage-fighter, Reid, took place at St.Read full story
Messi, Rooney, Ronaldo and Kaka were all abducted by Aliens!
One of the world's greatest mysteries has been unravelled and the reasons why the world's most fab footy stars did not appear at the World Cup has become clear: They were all abducted by a low-flying, passing Alien UFO. After stepping out for a...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Vagina Writer Vows To Write 'Mother Of All Vagina Stories'
A writer on satirical news website TheSpoof.com who has been labelled the leader of the New Vaginaists, a group of retards who have created an endless stream of stories featuring the word 'vagina', has reacted to claims that he is unoriginal, and has...Read full story
The Wombles are sueing Wimbledon because Serena is boring!
The Wombles are sueing Serena Williams for attempting to take over their patch and sending them all to sleep. It's bad enough that the Wombles are pretty "out" and nobody buys their records anymore (except Mike Batts kiddies), also the fact that o...Read full story
Isle Of Wight News - Ryde Man Creosotes Fence
In a move which brought unbridled joy to his neighbours, local man, Buster Ferkin today applied a coat of creosote to his garden fence. Ferkin was reported to have been contemplating the move for several months, because of the fence's unkempt appeara...Read full story
Tupac Shakur imprisoned in Venezuela
Tupac Shakur faked his death, he fled to Venezuela where he was imprisoned years later after Hugo Chavez took power. Tupac Shakur has been forced to make radio broadcasts to demoralize capitalists that oppose the Chavez regime, Chavez is also cons...Read full story
Isle Of Wight Loony Lefties
The Isle Of Wight Left wing Party, today announced a plan to rename the island a; "Less racist colour orientated name that would be less offensive to black and asian cultures" Asked what the new name would be, Rosaline Lentilsoup, leader of the Le...Read full story
Criminals file lawsuit against World's Dumbest Criminals on TruTV
A group of criminals, offended at the notion of being called dumb, have filed a class action lawsuit against the TruTV network, the producers of the show World's Dumbest Criminals and all of the celebrity commentators that mock criminals on each epis...Read full story
Isle Of Wight News - Mass Brawl At The Lady Labido Tea Rooms
Police were called to the Lady Labido Tea Rooms in Ventnor this afternoon when a fight broke out between two local gangs. When the Isle Of Wight riot squad arrived, both police officers had a hard time containing the warring factions. PC Parkin...Read full story
Cheryl Cole (oops, I meant Tweedy...) & Justin Bieber In Secret Romance
"Fight For This Love" singer, Cheryl Tweedy, is the latest star to be linked with heart-throb, Justin Bieber. Bieber, a close friend of Usher, found fame with breakout hit "Baby," and has since been romantically linked with a string of beauties. K...Read full story
Boy George May Appear In PlayGuy Magazine
LONDON - George Alan O'Dowd, aka Boy George hoping to jump start his career if rumors are to be believed that he will pose in the nude for PlayGuy Magazine. Back during the 80s the Culture Club lead singer managed to gather quite a following and r...Read full story
'I was a real-life secret-agent' reveals Sean Connery
An original draft of Sean Connery's autobiography, 'Being a Scot' has disclosed startling revelations which were omitted from the final published version which was released to the public in 2008. The manuscript, which was inexplicably left in a co...Read full story
The Justin Bieber - Madonna Feud Escalates
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Justin Bieber performed at The Box of Snowballs Auditorium in Green Bay. After the concert he was asked about the rumors of a feud between him and 51-year-old has-been singer Madonna. Justin simply shook his head and said...Read full story
Kim Kardashian Says She'll Bring Good Luck To The Dallas Cowboys By Dating Star Receiver Miles Austin
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian was relaxing out by her pool when she was asked by her sister Khloe if she thinks that people will say she is going to jinx the Dallas Cowboys because she is dating Miles Austin. Kim immediately said that she does...Read full story
Sebastien has some bad news
'That friend of yours, Penelope, is telling everyone about you.' 'So?' 'He says he almost scored a goal with you!' Penelope was crushed. 'What a cheek' she blurted. 'But he thinks you are wonderful. The best fan he has ever had.' 'If he thinks that is almost scoring a goal he must be a real twit.' 'Well, apart from football he is a bit of a twat.' 'I'll tell him tomorrow th...Read full story
Little Red Riding Hood Announces She's Getting a Makeover
Commuters at Grand Central Station in New York City yesterday were startled to see Little Red Riding Hood holding a press conference at the information desk. She wants the world to know that she's getting a makeover. Wearing her trusty hooded re...Read full story
Miley Cyrus' Favorite Organ in Jeopardy
Despite how much is written about Miley Cyrus' vagina, it is her brain that is in the most jeopardy. "She is in a downward spiral," Said Hugh Jass, Vice President of Unsolicited Opinions for The University of Pennsylvania. "And there really is onl...Read full story
Dave Chappelle Removed from Private Plane: "Wealth does not excuse nuttiness" says pilot.
The richest black man in the world, second only to Oprah, was removed from a private jet during an emergency landing in Pittsburgh last night because the pilot couldn't handle Chappelle's erratic behavior. "At first he was just singing songs from...Read full story
Susan Boyle Says That Women Who Pose Naked Are Bloomingly Disgusting
PARIS - Susan Boyle was in Paris on a shopping spree. She said that she had come to Paris to purchase some French knickers that she had been wanting ever since she was a wee lass of 7. Boyle said that she finally has the money to purchase the litt...Read full story
Katie Price In Wedding Blessing Cock Up
It seems there was some confusion and a bit of a cock up yesterday when topless model and former I'm A Celeb cockroach botherer Katie Price and cage building cross-fighter Alex Reid had their wedding blessed at a Surrey parish church. It seems tha...Read full story
Rev. Jesse Jackson will move to Nigeria
Reverend Jesse Jackson who is not even a real reverend, has admitted to being a con artists who plays the race card to get companies to give him lots of money, well loads of companies are onto him, planning to prosecute him if he cons any of them aga...Read full story
Spoof writer is applying for God's job
Spoof writer, Lady Godiva,recently told some of her Spoof writing friends that she is intending to apply for God's job, even though she doesn't believe he exists. She gave a number of reasons for this unusual move: 1. Everyone knows who you are even if you don't exist 2. You don't have to dress for work 3. You can get away with anything because even though people believe in you they...Read full story
Letters To The Editor - From Late On A Saturday Night
Sir, I went out to the pub earlier, and when I left the flat, I could have sworn there was a pot noodle in the cupboard. Now it's gone. I dunno what happened to it. I got fish and chips on the way home, and had just started tucking in at the bus stop when I dropped the bloody lot on the ground due to unsteadiness. Waste of a fiver that was. Thing is, the bus came so I didn't have time to get an...Read full story
Justin Bieber Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato To Star With Jay Leno In "The Adventures of Mr. Potato Head"
LOS ANGELES - Walt Disney Productions in association with Lions Face Motion Pictures has just announced that they will soon begin production on the non-animated film The Adventures of Mr. Potato Head. The motion picture will star teen stars Justin...Read full story
Steven Gerrard Issues Full Statement
In a hastily convened press conference from Steven Gerrard's temporary home at a hotel in Southport, Steven Gerrard, England and Liverpool captain met with reporters and issued a formal statement in response to the flurry of internet rumours which ha...Read full story
Myley Cyrus Lindsay Lohan iPhone 4 BP Oil Leak World Cup Vuvuzela iPad Vagina -OR- "How to Earn More as a Humor Writer for TheSpoof.com"
Humor writer anthonyrosania is earning more writing for TheSpoof.com than he ever did working long hours for whatever retailer was kind enough to employ him. "It's the most fun I've ever had that didn't end with an indictment," said the writer wit...Read full story
Pat Robertson plots to get Hugo Chavez
Five years ago, Pat Robertson suggested the United States government assassinate Hugo Chavez. Because the United States government has not done this, Pat Robertson is heading down to Venezuela to do the deed himself, he has packed an AK-47, 1000 r...Read full story