Arizonans Seeing Fewer Lowriders, Taco Stands on Streets
This week, the new immigration law will go into effect in Arizona and many changes are already being seen in the streets of most major cities. The most conspicuous is that lowriders are no longer seen in most Mexican neighborhoods. The customized car...Read full story
Bill and Hillary Clinton Cancel Chelsea's Wedding When They Find Out That Her Husband-To-Be Is A Republican
CHAPPAQUA, New York - Well it seems like President Bill and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's little girl Chelsea will not be getting married on July 31, after all. The elaborate $1 million wedding which was to have taken place on a 50 acre est...Read full story
Tom Mix And Cement: Cowboy Idol And Horse Buried Next To Each Other
Tom Mix, the first "King of Cowboys" and the actor who defined the clean-cut cowboy image and who always "saved the day," was buried next to his horse, Cement, at Forest Lawn Memorial Cemetery nearly 70 years ago. Tom Mix was born January 6,1880 a...Read full story
Hulk Hogan's Ex-Wife Linda, 50, To Wed Her Little Toy Boy Boyfriend Charlie "Peanuts" Hill
CLEARWATER, Florida - It is being reported that Terry Gene Bollea, better known as wrestler Hulk Hogan, is literally fit to be tied. It seems that the Hulkster has just been informed that his ex-wife, Linda has announced that she will be marrying...Read full story
Cheryl Refuses Ashley Hospital Visit
Cheryl Coal has sensationally refused to see estranged husband Ashlee after he attempted contact during her recent near death illness from malaria. Ashlee made several attempts to gain access to her chambers. He began by 'phoning her on her mobile...Read full story
No Birthday Party for Barry: Pissed Michelle Splits for Spain! Is This the End?
There appears to not only be trouble with the shrinking paycheck of the average American Worker, but perhaps lurking trouble in the marriage of America's First Family, as it was announced Michelle was taking one of the kids in a huff and splitting f...Read full story
'Murder, She Wrote' Comeback Gets Green Light.
Angela Lansbury is to star in an all new original remake of a television series originally made years before, which is set to take the TV ratings by storm again on both sides of the pond. In accordance with new industry guidelines which state no...Read full story
Cheryl Cole and Jade Goody are examples to us all
Fredrick Everett was an explorer and Cyril Everett a well know industrialist. Surprise surprise, Rupert Everett is a renound actor. It helps in the media world to have relatives in high places. Take a look at almost anyone famous on Wikipedia, pa...Read full story
Lunchroom trade talks heat up for Benitez, Johnson
SAN DEIGO, CA (TS) - It appears there could be an exchange in Lunch C at Wiener-Burger Elementary School. Juan Benitez and Ally Johnson are close to completing a trade that will dramatically alter the landscape of their lunches for the upcoming scho...Read full story
Chelsea Clinton, Afraid Of Wedding Night, To Back Out Of Wedding?
According to the news this morning, Chelsia Clinton is in full meltdown mode after severe panic attacks - that her new hubby will be a cheat! Chelsea told her parents that she has not been sleeping well before her upcoming wedding because, accord...Read full story
Robert Pattinson Injures Neck In Car Crash!
Twilight star, 24-year-old Robert Pattinson was the victim once more of the paparazzi as he tried to back his car out of a friend's house Saturday night and spotted two cars that he knew were paparazzi. He had been chased down once again, so he hit t...Read full story
Winehouse Attacked By Horseflies
Only days after Cheryl Coal was viciously probed by a passing mozzie, fellow whiney bint Amie Winehouse has been brutally attacked by a swarm of horseflies. The donkey-toothed, horse-faced mare was munching on grass outside her London home when th...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan On Hunger Strike
Lindsay Lohan, who began serving her jail sentence last week, has apparently gone on a hunger strike. "She refused to eat her food this morning", stated a guard at lunch break. "Of course some of her visitors have brought her candy and stuff. No w...Read full story
"Miley Cyrus" May Have Ruined Your Son Or Daughter
While WalMart and other sellers of the Miley Cyrus jewelry say they have recalled the product for over six months now, they estimate that there are still millions of the baubles out there. The Miley Cyrus brand jewelry contained toxic cadmium and...Read full story
Katy Perry Records "The Ballad of The Isle of Wight" and It Soars To #1
LONDON - Katy Perry, who recently recorded the song "The Ballad of The Isle of Wight" has just been informed by BMI that the song has reached the number one position on the music charts. The young songstress laughed and said that when she first he...Read full story
15 Found Dead In 'Ghastly House Of Horror'
Police have uncovered a grisly 'house of death' in Swansea, informants tell us. News is sketchy at this time, but around 15 dead bodies, some seemingly mutilated, were found at an address by a member of the public. "Officers were called to the...Read full story
Mel Brooks Says That Mel Gibson Has Agreed To Star in His Comedy, "Mel Gibson Vs. The Chupacabra"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Film producer, director, and writer Mel Brooks, who produced such great comedies as Young Frankenstein's Frankfurter, Robin Hood - Transvestites In Tights, Space Balls - Galaxy Dicks, Blazing Saddles, and the sequel Burning Hemorrho...Read full story
Oksana Grigorieva Says She Has Nude Photos of Mel Gibson and Britney Spears
LA BREA, California - Mel Gibson's ex-girlfriend and ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva was sitting on the front porch of her trailer house at The Left Coast Sunset Trailer Park, located two miles from the famed La Brea Tar Pits. She was speaking wi...Read full story
The cat sat on the mat
"Look at that cat sitting on the mat". - These were the words on everyones lips today after the spectacular sight that confronted them this morning. Tiddles the cat surprised everyone in town by doing the most unfathomable thing: sitting on a mat.Read full story
Apple Sues God: Actual Apples Look Too Much Like Apple Logo.
In a move that stunned Christians and non-Christians alike, Apple, Inc. has filed a lawsuit against God, claiming that real apples look too much like Apple, Inc.'s logo. "We own the worldwide-rights to Apple, pure and simple," said bile-averse App...Read full story
H&R Block: Roommate Wanted to Share Costs of Billion Dollar Kansas City Corporate Office.
H&R Block, the world's largest tax return preparation company, who long ago gave up on becoming what industry analysts call "profitable", have begun entertaining offers to lease out some space in their corporate offices in Kansas City, MO. "Yo...Read full story
Third in a Series: H&R Block Board Member Tom Bloch, Son of Founder Henry, Gets the F-K Out of Dodge.
Current H&R Bloch Inc. board member, and former CEO Thomas Bloch said Friday he is leaving the tax preparer's board of directors, and criticized the company's priorities, pricing structure, and it's failure to address the aftershoch of the tax so...Read full story
iPad's REVENGE: Look Ma, No Thumbs!
EAST CHINA, MICHIGAN - Don't look now, but do, by all means, hold onto whatever you still can. Because based on the first substantial wave of studies attempting to determine what sort of possible long-term package deal effects might be coming our way, due to the quick ascension of Apple's almighty tablet computer toy, the iPad, any outside-the-box multi-tasking days we were led to believe were ou...Read full story
The Ku Klux Klan Turns Down Mel Gibson For Membership Saying He Is Way Too Unbalanced, Crazy, and One Hell of A Friggin Racist
TUCSON, Arizona - The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea, Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz was asked if the Australian actor Mel Gibson had in fact recently applied for membership into th...Read full story
Fordingbridge Tragedy - Local Kids Mug For The Cameras
Following the tragic murder of a woman and her two children, aged 1 and 2 in Fordingbridge Hants, followed by the suicide by hanging of a man, there were scenes eerily reminiscent of those in Rothbury, as gunman Raoul Moat was cornered by police offi...Read full story
Carnage As Dove Wins Peace Prize
A single white dove has won this years Nobel Peace prize in a shock announcement from the Norwegian Nobel Committee, only to be brutally killed moments later. Gary, a white Columba livia domestica, or white domestic pigeon, was hand picked from ov...Read full story
New Grand Canyon discovered!
In the early 1900s, the president of America went to visit Russia. Of course, Russia was still ruled by the Czar back then, and the American President was warmly welcomed by the whole Russian royal household. As the two leaders and their entourages were dining one day in one of the huge dining rooms in the palace, the Americans were telling the Russians about some of the great things in their c...Read full story
Vanessa Hudgens Stars in "Sucker Punch" One of The Biggest Hits of The 2010 San Diego Comic Convention
SAN DIEGO - Vanessa Hudgens the star of TV's The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, as well as the movie series High School Musical has once again hit gold with her latest movie Sucker Punch. The 21-year-old Vanessa stars in the Alice and Wonderland mov...Read full story
German Home Invasion!
Berlin - Due in part to the extremely hot weather conditions prevailing right across the Fatherland reports are coming in thick and fast regarding widescale rioting in German swimming pools across the country! Swimming pool bosses have been force...Read full story
Tampa Bay News Story on GOP Convention Makes Way for Monkey, Scandal
When readers opened their Monday morning papers and saw a story about the GOP convention coming to Tampa in two years, they were probably expecting to read about the convention, who was on tap to speak, where it would be held, some of the issues that would be taken up by the GOP, perhaps even a sentence or two about candidates who were hoping to become the next President of the United States. W...Read full story
TLC Gives Hugo Chavez His Own Reality Show
For the first time in the history of the The Learning Channel, TLC crews are headed south of the border to create a new reality show based on the exploits of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela. Entitled "Individuo solo del Aceite" or "Lonely Oil Guy," the show...Read full story
The Annals of Anal Cheese Remediation
Long thought to be scientific territory that could not be crossed or mastered, much like proving the existence of Quarks and Gluons, or confirming the delivery of more than two contiguous orgasms to Margaret Thatcher, Sir Lynton of Leicester has crossed that chasm with a chemical compound that eliminates the existence and associated smells of anal and ball sack cheese. Working with a small team...Read full story
Nick Clegg to be surgically attached to David Cameron
Surgeons are today preparing for a world first - the surgically joining together of David Cameron and Nick Clegg. The two men - who will become the first "Same-ese" twins" - were said to be nervous but looking forward to the operation. "As we have...Read full story
Robert Green to be the face of the new Catholic Condom
Robert Green, the hapless England goalkeeper who was solely responsible for England not winning the World Cup, has been chosen by the pope to be the face of the new Catholic Condom. The Vatican has at last bowed to pressure from health organisatio...Read full story
Congressman marginally less repulsive than originally thought
Congressman Gerald Hakken was found yesterday to be not guilty of roughly 7% of the ethics violations he has been accused of. "This is a great day" exclaimed Hakken. "I told them I didn't actually take a few of those bribes, now America knows the...Read full story
BNP leader banned from palace and wonders what all the fuss is about!
Nick Griffin, chunky, cheery BNP leader attempted to breach Buckingham Palace security and gate-crash a party given by the Queen welcoming new members of Parliament including "Brokeback" stars Miss Piggy and Kermit alias, Cameron and Clegg! Griff...Read full story
Donovan signs for Manchester City
Manchester City have unveiled their latest mega-bucks international signing for the coming season: Jason Donovan. The ex-Neighbours and chart-topping star who has lost a lot of hair recently, is said to be thrilled. "I never thought I'd be giv...Read full story
Ireland are give automatic entry into the 2014 World Cup!
In a shock announcement, Sepp Blatter the president of the world Football federation, FIFA, has announced that Ireland are to be granted automatic entry into the 2014 World Cup. Although not explicitly said, many believe this is in response not be...Read full story
Isle of Wight News - Druid Half-Soltice Passes Without Incident
Since records began in 1978, Druids have congregated at the Camp Hill standing stones to celebrate the Half-Solstice. This archaic and mystic rite attracts druids from as far away as Ryde to perform their esoteric rituals as the sun rises over Camp H...Read full story
Prince Charles launches 'i-pot'
Amid much pomp and ceremony, Prince Charles has launched his new product today, the 'i-pot'. A cross between a plant pot and an mp3 player, the 'i-pot' has been designed to provide music, specifically for your potted plants. The 'i-pot' will be...Read full story
Isle of Wight man weds dog
In a bizarre story, a man from the Isle of Wight got married to his dog this weekend. Norman Muttcock, a 53 year old batchelor from Newport, wed Pom-Pom, a 7 year old pomeranian-cross bitch, in a civil ceremony on the island on Saturday. Mr Mut...Read full story
New Job for Tony Hayward
The future of Tony Hayward was given a fresh perspective with his departure from BP. But, what to do now to build on his impressive career? He is not likely to sit on his laurels counting the millions he will have in the Bank. Tony will be o...Read full story
Madeleine McCann found Live and Well
In dramatic news emerging this morning, we can confirm that Madeleine McCann has been discovered alive and well. Unbelievably, she was found hiding under the bed, in the very apartment that she went missing from over three years ago on 3rd May 200...Read full story
Peeping Tom Sees Less Than He Wanted!
Convicted Peeping Tom, Tom Thompson, lost an eye last night whilst peeking through a peep-hole in the womens changing room at the leisure centre in Tring. The 42 year old father of none had been spying on several women as they gently lathered thei...Read full story
Boy Genius Finds Cure For Hunger
A six year old boy genius has sensationally found a cure for hunger and starvation throughout the world. Kenny Fringe, 6, has been hailed as the next Einstein by people who make predictions about things like that. He has already taken his GCSE's a...Read full story
BP Tony Hayward 's $50 million 'austerity' pay-off
London - (Crude News): It's a sign-if-the-times redundancy package that includes a £10.8 million pension pot accrued during Hayward's 28 years at BP. The supermajor CEO is stepping down this week following dismal performances in front of a Senate...Read full story
Professional Slacker Leaning Toward Retirement
FORT WAYNE, IN (HGN) - John Dunham is ready to hang it up, and get to work, or at least that's what his parents are hoping. Dunham graduated from Roosevelt High School in 2001 and seems to be losing interest in being a dead-beat lately. He spent ti...Read full story
The Labour Leadership Rules of Engagement
With the contenders for the leadership of the Labour Party battling it out across the country, we thought now would be an ideal time to answer the most frequently asked questions that we have received about this contest: How do you become candidates? Successful leadership candidates have to be nominated by 12.5% of the Parliamentary Labour Party, past and present. Votes from deceased MP's c...Read full story
2010 Philadelphia Eagles: "Hi, I'm new here. And you are...?"
Philadelphia Eagles' head coach Andy Reid has been jumping around like a rhino in a tutu all spring, telling anyone who'll listen that the team feels invigorated by the influx of new faces. 39 of them, in fact, with 13 being draft picks. And on an 80...Read full story
No Shit Sherlock - 'A Study In Pink' Is A Smash Hit For The BBC
BBC chiefs were reported to be 'ecstatic' this morning, as their updated version of Sherlock Holmes proved to be a smash hit with the viewing public. It was a calculated risk, hauling Holmes, Doctor Watson, Inspector LeStrade, Mycroft and Moriarty...Read full story
Justin Bieber Finds A Catcher's Mitt In His Hamburger
VENICE BEACH, California - Justin Bieber and one of his best friends, Nathan Kress, from Nickelodeon's hit show iCarly stopped in to have some hamburgers and fries at Hungry Hanks Humongous Hamburger Haven. After Justin had taken the second bite o...Read full story
Brad Pitt To Star In World War Z
It was announced yesterday at Comic-Con that Brad Pitt will star in the film of the horror novel, "World War Z". Plus, it was announced by the writer himself, Max Brooks. The novel is a creepy zombie horror story that should do well on the big sc...Read full story
Arnold Schwarzenegger Holds Pot Sampling Party in Governor's Mansion
When it comes to the legalization and regulation of marijuana in the State of California, some say Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is leaning towards supporting Proposition 19. Even if he doesn't fully support the measure, those closest to him claim t...Read full story