Doggy Bag For Life

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 4 July 2010

image for Doggy Bag For Life
A doggy bag, but not this sort

Most major supermarkets are now operating a Bag for Life policy. Keen to match this environmental image, restaurants are going to follow suit, and offer a Doggy Bag for Life.

"Most people have a favourite restaurant," said Mark Downs, head of Great British Restaurants Guide. "A place where you will go whenever you fancy a simple night out, be it KFC or your local Italian. What we propose is that you have a Doggy Bag For Life that you take with you, and at the end of the meal, when you can't eat another morsel, you can simply put the food into your doggy bag and take it home."

On hearing the explanation, Mavis Popplethwaite, 68, of Skelmersdale was quite relieved.

"I'm glad it was that kind of doggy bag," she said. "For a while I thought that they wanted me to use the same bag for picking up Chomp's poop when I took him out for a walk. I mean it's bad enough that I have to pick up the doggy poop now, but using the same bag all the time, I mean, that's a bit nauseating isn't it? When I were a girl, we never had to pick up doggy poop, they could poop where they wanted, and that was that. Sure you sometimes stood in doggy poop on your way to school, but that was part of the fun of growing up, asking who had doggy poop on their shoes when you could smell it in class. So yes, you could say I'm all for Doggy Bags for life if they're for restaurants. What was the question again?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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