Tony Romo Dates Amy Winehouse, Fans In Shock
Talk about the odd couple and I wouldn't have believed it had I not seen it with my own photographer's eyes, Tony Romo is actually dating Amy Winehouse. "There's nothing serious going on here", stated Romo at the Nori Sushi Bar & Grill in Dall...
Read full storyAstronauts Run Out of Quarters for Toilet Aboard ISS
Earth Orbit - "At the time it sounded like a good idea," explains Roger Wilcox, senior budgeting director for the NASA shuttle launches. "Installing a coin operated toilet onboard the International Space Station (ISS) saved us money. And in this age...
Read full storyWe All Know Mangelson's a Twat - How Come We Don't Do Anything?
No, Peter (Dark Lord) Mangelson is not the neighbour you would want. But why? Is it the smell of burning sulphur that permeates the atmosphere when he exhales? Is it that he has spun himself from Satan to Saviour in a few short weeks? Could it be that his time as European Commissioner For Something Or Other, secured for him by his best bud, Tony Bliar took him out of the public eye un...
Read full storyManned Missions To Mars & The Moon Are Back - Nevada Real Estate Soars
President Barracks Obama's newly announced re-energising of the Space Programme has led to an unexpected phenomenon. Hundreds of thousands of acres of the Nevada Desert have been bought up by speculators keen to cash in on the moon and Mars landin...
Read full storyFooling the Zoroastrians
London - (Penumbral Mess): "Testifying against the Zoroastrians? Just a little hobby of mine, like making vanilla cupcakes," the chief prosecution witness in Regina vs First Zoroastrian Bank of Area 51, Nevada commented today. The case, however, i...
Read full storyApollo 11 Crew Share Regrets at Not Doing Michael Jackson style Moonwalk on Moon
Dayton, Ohio - Looking back on their historical moment of breaking the earthly bonds, journeying into outer space, landing on the surface of the moon and returning home safely to tell the tale of the greatest adventure mankind has ever known, the cre...
Read full storyAlison Moyet crushes 12 in food hall stampede
Fat 80's soul singer Alison Moyet crushed 12 not fat people as she pushed her way through a crowded food hall in Bradford today. The obese, slightly scary looking songstress knocked aside the other customers like pinball's as she rushed to get to...
Read full storyCraigslist and Henry McMaster suck?
Henry McMaster, The attorney general for South Carolina issued a statement today about why he is trying to get Craigslist and the Constitution of the United States shut down. Henry McMaster stated, "We need to fight these prostitution rings both o...
Read full storyShilpa Shetty Shares Secret Saucy Secrets
Bollywood babe Shilpa Shetty has shared some of her most intimate secrets recipes for making sauces with Hollywood gerbil-fancier Richard Gere. The Indian hottie got all steamy - over a big pot - with the Officer and a Gentleman star while...
Read full storyPeople Who Life in Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Rolling Stones
The government has issued and urgent warning to glass house owners not to throw their Rolling Stones records about. This warning only applies to those living in said green houses. "We have seen countless cases recently of cut fingers and grazes th...
Read full storyCarla Bruni To Edit The Sunday Times
Michael Jackson look-alike Carla Bruni is to edit the Sunday Times. The expressionless former model was invited by a group of old sleazebags from the esteemed newspaper last month to take on the role after they discovered that they practically dedica...
Read full storyBuddy Holly says he wishes he was Alive
Buddy Holly has communicated with the living for the first time since passing over to the 'Other side'. The original Rock 'N' Roll nerd got in touch with a local psychic and told her that he was "doing well" and to send his love to "mother". Appar...
Read full storyScientist Gets in Trouble For Skinning Cat
A scientist is at the centre of an ethical row of animal cruelty versus scientific discovery, following his attempts to test the old maxim: "There's more than one way to skin a cat". Barry Devers, 38, took it upon himself to go around the neighbou...
Read full storyLouisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal Sick
New Orleans - Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal has come out from under the covers to attack President Obama once again, this time it's health care. In an op-ed he wrote in Politico, Jindal says "I know a little something about health care policy…" Evi...
Read full storyThe Daytime Death Ads
A growing number of people are getting more than a bit annoyed at advertisements on daytime television which are being described as the daytime death ads. You are probably aware of the ads involved the over fifty plan for example which seems to be on at every commercial break. John Muir is trying to start a campaign to stop these ads saying "We all no we are going to die but we dont need t...
Read full storyThe Astonishing Mr Virus man - The Mr X files
Our Mr X has met up with a man who calls himself The Virus Man. The Virus Man alias James Smith claims that he has been paid millions by representatives of major pharmaceutical companies to be infected by a virus then go into crowded places and infect the population after which he returns home to take the antidote which he has been given within 24 hours. What they pay me is chicken feed in...
Read full storyBest Of Hilary Duff Re-Release With New Tracklist And "Holiday" Leads
Hollywood Records knew they did wrong last year when they decided to release a "best-of" including Hilary Duff's biggest hits without her approval; sales were low because of the absent promotion. But now, they seem to beg for pardon. They will be...
Read full storyNext U.S. President Will Be Winner "American Idol" Style
In a great move to save billions in campaign funds and free up all that time and money during the primaries, the U.S. Supreme has decided that it would make a lot more sense and be completely fair to run the next presidential race "American Idol Styl...
Read full storyThe 2009 Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders' Calendar Is Now On Sale
DALLAS - The Dallas Cowboys Director of Public Relations Tricia Joy Schwartzkoff has said that Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader fans can now go on line and purchase their copy of the brand new 2009 Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders' Calendar at www.dallascheerlead...
Read full storyKiddie Mafia Arrested
Philadelphia, PA - Seven children all from the same neighborhood were arrested last week on racketeering charges for maintaining the only lemonade stands within their township, and operating them without a permit. It started out innocently enough, b...
Read full storyEnglish Republicans Fed Up
English Republicans who go to England football matches are totally pissed off that when they go to football matches to watch England play they have to listen to God save the Queen. James Cromwell a spokesperson for English republicans explained th...
Read full storyKate Middleton's family loses prestigeous royal crack-dealing warrant after uncle's bust
London - (Narcotic Mess): The official House of Windsore royal crack dealing warrant is up for grabs again following the collapse of a long running business arrangement with Kate Middleton's feckless moron uncle Gary 'Indiana' Goldsmith. The Spani...
Read full storyScotland demands compensation
Ranald MacDonald of Arbroath claims that not only should Scotland be demanding Independence from the government in England Scots should also be demanding compensation of three trillion pounds for compensation for three hundreds years of exploitation...
Read full storyPrince Bandar's missus does a runner
London - (Sordid Arabia Mess): Despite several crude attempts to bribe the British asylum and immigration court into 'sending her back home for her own good' the youngest wife of ex-Saudi Arabian ambassador the the US Prince Bandar has dumped her age...
Read full storyAnonymous Tips Continue to Pile Up in Obama Circumcision Controversy!
KwaZula-Natal, South Africa - Thousand of anonymous tips are piling up and causing a health problem at Orange Farm, South Africa, as hordes of African males arrive hourly to subject themselves to circumcision. Responding to nationwide ads feat...
Read full storyPrincess Diana had Swine flu before she died
Kenisington Palace had refused to comment on a claim that Prince Diana had tested positive for the H1N1 virus in the days before she died. The claim has re-emerged in the Spanish tabloid Magazine "Wetalka Loadsabolloks" which is very popular with...
Read full storyWhite House to be painted black
The White House is to be painted black claims investigative reporters Brian Blue & Gordon Green. They claim they have inside knowledge that President Obama wants The White House painted black so that terrorists cannot see it in the dark. Grah...
Read full storyThe Governor is back
Arnold Schwarzenegger Governor of California former bodybuilder and Hollywood movie star has been persuaded to return to Hollywood to star in the proposed movie The return of Predator. The original movie Predator in 1987 was one of Arnold Schwarz...
Read full storyCheney Waterboards Self: Says, "Bastard had it coming!"
Former Vice President Dick Cheney remains in guarded condition today at the University of Wyoming Proctologic Hospital in Pettifogger, Wyoming. Cheney was admitted Sunday evening following a self inflicted waterboarding incident. "The bastard had i...
Read full storyHomer Simpson contracts swine flu
It has been confirmed by Marge Simpson that her husband Homer has contracted swine flu. Speaking from his bedside at the Springfield City Hospital, Mrs Simpson said that her husband was extremely comfortable, although the doctor did ask that with...
Read full storyWanking at work reaches endemic proportions
Headline news in The Sun last Saturday revealed to a shocked nation the onanistic exploits of a Virgin Trains driver on the West Coast main line who was caught tossing himself off in his cab. However The Spoof can reveal secret government research wh...
Read full storyDeadbeat Dads Ruining Reef Life, Say Single Seahorse Moms
CAPE HATTERAS, NC - Hippocampus erectus dads have been neglecting their responsibilities too often lately, say seahorse moms, and it's leaving deep scars in their coral reef community. "He said he didn't want to do an 8-hour courtship dance becaus...
Read full storyBigfoot Hoax Claim
The alleged creature known as bigfoot is a hoax according to anthropologist Cecil Grossman. There are no huge hairy ape like creatures in the forests or in the remote parts of the USA and Canada and there is absolutely no evidence to prove they exist. The hoax of bigfoot is apparently being carried out by Bill Boggin who travels around the remote areas of America and Canada because he has the worl...
Read full storyA Loving Tribute To Michael Jackson
Are you getting a bit sick of hearing about Michael Jackson in the news? For me it's been bouncing between I've heard enough, and I want to hear some more because I can't get enough of all the fucked up shit that's being uncovered! At times like these I could take the easy path and make cheap jokes about any of the countless stereotypes that spring to mind when you think of him. But I think...
Read full storySurviving Jackson's Struggle to Stay in the Spotlight
If you thought the Michael Jackson death juggernaut was slowing down, guess again! Because now thanks to his opportunistic family we're going to get hit with a mountain of morbid merchandise from the surviving Jackson's hoping to grab some of the spotlight from the dearly departed King of Pop! First out of the gate is LaToya with her tribute song to Michael called "Home" that's being release...
Read full storyNASA blows the lid on Moon Landing Hoax
Fed up with the proliferation of Moon Landing Hoax web sites over the recent years, NASA have finally stepped forward to dispel the hoaxers once and for all, with a real legitimate rocket scientist, Anne Gree, head of the Public Perception of Science...
Read full storyHouse Of Lords to be abolished
Its only a matter of time before the House of Lords will be abolished claims political expert David Jones. The House of lords' origins go back as far as the 11th century but some people have been talking about abolishing it for some time as its f...
Read full storyA General, A Colonel, and A Major File A Lawsuit Against President Obama
TAMPA, Florida - Three United States military officers have filed a lawsuit against President Barack Obama claiming that he does not have a birth certificate. General Clyde Dunfrey Chitlins, along with Colonel Dunward Naysayer Grackle, and Major S...
Read full storyGov. Schwarzenegger Calls Himself Girly Man
Sacramento - The people of California are scratching their heads tonight and wondering if what they saw on Cable Access was real. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, visibly shaken, admitted that he is scared to death of Assembly Speaker Karen Bass...
Read full storyAndrew Flintoff To Take Up Crown Green Bowling
Former England cricket captain Andrew Flintoff, who this week announced that he will retire from Test cricket after the current Ashes series, has told friends at lancashire CC that he hopes to take up the rather less strenuous sport of Crown Green Bo...
Read full storyThe Real Reasons Blake Fielder-Civil Is Divorcing Amy Winehouse
LONDON - British doo-wop, funk singer Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil has filed for divorce from his wife. Fielder-Civil's attorney Cambric Barnstable was asked on what grounds was his client filing for divorce. Barnstable reached in h...
Read full storySonia Sotomayor Says She Will Sell Her Taco Bell Stock
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Supreme Court Justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor who has been grilled, degrilled, and regrilled by the senators on the nominating committee has said that if it will make Senator Arlen Specter happy she will agree to sell her 1.7 milli...
Read full storyGMC Introduces Electric Car
Boston MA: Government Motors Corporation (GMC), now out of bankruptcy, has authorized its remaining dealerships to begin marketing their new electric car, the Maxwell. A GMC spokesperson said "The Maxwell is a real Joule. The government's "Cash f...
Read full storyCheney, Rove, and Glenn Beck Related
Salt Lake City, UT - It has just been discovered that Dick Cheney and Karl Rove are half brothers, sharing the same mother, and that Glenn Beck is Cheney's love child. The fathers of Cheney and Rove are brothers, and are said to have at least 23...
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