London - (Penumbral Mess): "Testifying against the Zoroastrians? Just a little hobby of mine, like making vanilla cupcakes," the chief prosecution witness in Regina vs First Zoroastrian Bank of Area 51, Nevada commented today.
The case, however, is besieged with complex paranoia issues due to Wednesday's solar eclipse on the Cancer/Leo cusp.
And while this is pivotally heinous for the money laundering defendants in the dock it actually bodes rather well for the FBI Immediate Response Team's arrival in the City of London at 2.35GMT.
The rendez-vous brings vital information to City of London detectives investigating the UK's very own $120 million Madoffesque ponzi scam.
"God's Banker suicide? Don't make me laugh, I've got bigger fish to fry like that Royal Bank of Scotland uranium enrichment dealer Sir Fred Goodwin," Chief Superintendent Bagsy McBeen told reporters.
Alistair darling is Michael Howard's son.