Sonia Sotomayor Says She Will Sell Her Taco Bell Stock

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 20 July 2009

image for Sonia Sotomayor Says She Will Sell Her Taco Bell Stock
The Supreme Court, which will be Sonia Sotomayor's new home away from home. (photo courtesy of Jessica Simpson).

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Supreme Court Justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor who has been grilled, degrilled, and regrilled by the senators on the nominating committee has said that if it will make Senator Arlen Specter happy she will agree to sell her 1.7 million shares of Taco Bell stock.

The Republican/Democrat senator from Pennsylvania/New York said that he is a little bit uneasy and concerned about the fact that Ms. Sotomayor owns so much stock in the Mexican food franchise.

When Sotomayor turned it around and asked him if he would be as concerned if she owned 1.7 million shares in McDonald's stock Specter laughed and said absolutely not.

Several senators looked at each other as if to say, "What the F is wrong with Specky" and "I think he has overdosed on Metamucil again."

When the 79-year-old Specter was told that both McDonald's and Taco Bell are American-owned companies he got a look of surprise on his face and said, "What? It was my understanding that Taco Bell was owned by that actress from Mexico Salma Hayek."

When informed that, that was not the case, he was heard to say, "Oh shit. It sure does look like I just went and stepped in it."

Specter then asked, "And next I suppose that you're going to tell me that Little Caesar's Pizza isn't owned by a company from Italy.


"Dammit all. I guess I better try and get out more."

When Sotomayor was told about what had transpired with Senator Specter she just smiled, took a sip of her Mimosa Margarita and said, "Well, let me just say this.

Let's remember that old Specky doesn't know if he's a Republican or a Democrat, or if he's from Pennsylvania or New York, or even if he prefers paper or plastic.

So ladies and gentlemen of the American jury...I rest my case."

In other news. LaToya Jackson has just announced that she will be writing an extremely intimate book about her brother and people that he knew. The working title is Some Very Intimate Things That My Brother Told Me About Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor, Macaulay Culkin, Lisa Marie Presley, OctuMom, Kobe Bryant, Governor Sarah Palin, and Tatiana Del Toro.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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