Written by queen mudder

Monday, 20 July 2009

image for Kate Middleton's family loses prestigeous royal crack-dealing warrant after uncle's bust
High-grove residents consoling themselves with a snifter of skunk this weekend

London - (Narcotic Mess): The official House of Windsore royal crack dealing warrant is up for grabs again following the collapse of a long running business arrangement with Kate Middleton's feckless moron uncle Gary 'Indiana' Goldsmith.

The Spanish-domiciled drug tosser also blew his chances of a fatcat peerage following a publication of a News of the Screws probe up his no-good narcotic-peddling arse last weekend.

Middleton, 39, is said to be livid after the sordid details were plastered all over the Sunday tabloid that outed Goldsmith, 69, as an accomplished drug importer and part-time pimp.

Goldsmith's estimated $25 million crack dealing fortune has been sunk into foreign property, UK brothels and bribing the Royal Protection Squad police.

Former royal hooker Koo Stark is Middleton's secret birth mother.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kate Middleton

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