John Dillinger's Penis Pops Up At Smithsonian Institution
Washington, D.C. - What is believed to be the penis of early midwestern bank robber, John Dillinger, famously killed outside of a movie theater on orders of J. Edgar Hoover, has been discovered in a box at the Smithsonian Institution. The box was...
Read full storyWidow of Michael Jackson, Nona Paris Lola Ankhesenamun Jackson, Ready To Wed Adam Lambert
London, UK - The self proclaimed widow of recently deceased legend Michael Jackson, 'The King Of Pop', Ms. Nona Paris Lola Ankhesenamun Jackson, says that her mourning period is over and she wants to get on with her life. Her first step in this tran...
Read full storyThe Do-It-Yourself Michael Jackson Will Kit
Persons wishing to submit their own Michael Jackson will (there is a question of the validity of the ones on hand) can use the format below. Better yet, just print the form and fill in the blanks and submit it to the California State Courts. I, M...
Read full storyMore Michael Jackson Wills Discovered
The first Michael Jackson will left care of his children to his mother and his estate to his family (to be run by a trust). Legal proceedings towards this end were halted, however, when new wills came to light. In the second will, which was in th...
Read full storyBernie Madoff May Be Released in 50 Years
In a deal worked out with prosecutors, attorneys for Ponzi scheme king Bernard Madoff assured their client that he would not have to serve more than 1/3 of his original 150 year sentence and could be released in as little as 50 years. 71-year-old...
Read full storyBilly Mays to be Buried in "Mighty Coffin"
Orlando - Famed "yell and sell" pitchman Billy Mays will be buried tomorrow in what he hoped to be his latest consumer necessity, the "The Mighty Coffin". Ironically Billy penned the script for the upcoming commercial for the "Mighty Coffin" just...
Read full storyObama out on his ass July 11th in self-prophecy shocker!
Washington AC/DC - (Prescient Ass Mess): He may not regret it yet but come 11 July 2009 President Obama will surely rue the day he ever opened his big, apocalyptic, show-off mouth. That's the considered opinion at NATO military intelligence HQ fol...
Read full storyBob Seger Out Of Retirement Doing "Like A Rock" Viagra Song In Commercial
New York City: Long out of the rock & roll spotlight, singer Bob "Silver Bullet" Seger is coming out with new commercials for Viagra, using a new version of "Like A Rock" which was a big hit for him in the 1980's. Then it was used on television...
Read full storyWoman Loses Breast Implants in Poker Game
Madeline (sometimes called Maddy or Madame) Bitters just set a new record for losses in a game of poker. While many people have lost their car, their home, or even the shirt off of their backs, she lost her breast implants. "I went to Las Vegas b...
Read full storyJackson burial plot
Los Angeles - (Conspiracy Theory Mess): The meticulously choreographed July 4th funeral has bombed. And classic Jackson family shenanigans were blamed today as a sordid plot to cremate singer Wacko and dump a waxwork lookalike into a Neverland min...
Read full storyCyrus for Oscar?
July 01, 2009 -- Miley Cyrus of the Disney Channel have been reported to already be considered for next year's Academy Award for Performance By An Actress In a Leading Role. An insider claimed that, "Even though Ms. Cyrus' latest movie, The Last...
Read full storyUK Reels Under Plague Of Flies As Heatwave Kicks In
As the UK swelters in levels of heat and humidity not seen for a long time, a secondary scourge has lashed UK residents - flies. The Met Office has delivered extreme weather warnings, but it appears nobody was prepared for the flies. The pesky...
Read full storyMichael Jackson abused Pinocchio
Stories have surfaced regarding upcoming criminal charges brought against pop singer Michael Jackson by Pinocchio. In a written avadavat seen by a popular entertainment website, Jackson was named as the defendant in a sexual molestation claim by...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Kids and Estate left to Bubbles
Michael Jackson has left his children and his entire estate to his best friend and companion Bubbles the chimpanzee, after the missing will was eventually discovered tucked down the back of the toilet. The simian mischief-maker is now the legal gu...
Read full storyMichael Jackson had a Huge Dick
Michael Jackson's autopsy photos show that the pale-skinned star really was a black man after all. Pathologists measured his member at almost 18 inches long - showcasing that no amount of fucking around with his skin could take away his black roo...
Read full storyBunch of weirdos say Michael Jackson was a nice bloke
Publicity hungry has-beens have crawled out of the woodwork to offer praise for Michael Jackson. Mark Lester - who played Oliver in the movie Oliver Twist and was godfather to one of Jackson's brats - said Jackson was an inspiration to all paedop...
Read full storyScotland threaten to break away from the UK if Andy Murray wins Wimbledon
On the 10th aniversary of Scottish devolution, the Scottish parliament, in the presence of the Queen, has officialy anounced that they will quit the UK and become totally autonomous if Andy Murray wins Wimbledon!!! If Andy should "blow it" in typi...
Read full storyMore Hollywood Celebrities to die before Year Ends
A French mystic has predicted that more Hollywood stars will die before the end of this year. Nostrodamus - who writes a load of vague shite in 'rhyming couplets' - issued a warning to all the Hollywood jet set: "Come the earthy solar bend Th...
Read full storyWorld's Number 1 Michael Jackson Fan tells media to relax
Michael Jackson's number one fan has taken the unusual step of contacting the media to tell them to relax a bit with all the coverage the superstar's death has been garnering. Josie Walsh, who lives alone with her three cats - Prince Michael, Prin...
Read full storyTickets to Not see Michael Jackson play in London go on sale today
After the incredibly response of concert goers not asking for refunds, event promoters have released tickets for 50 more dates that Michael Jackson will not play in London. This will now make 100 concert dates in which Jackson - who is dead &#...
Read full storyBilly Mays Death Will Affect More People Than Jackson, Fawcett & McMahon Combined!
Billy (not Willy) Mays who sold us all those WONDERFUL products over the years has passed away almost unnoticed during the "Dying Spell" as we in the South call it, last week at the age of 50. However, the effect of Billy's passing will have a bi...
Read full storyKris Allen and Adam Lambert Co-Hosting New Variety Show This Fall
Spike TV has announced a new addition to it's fall lineup that's bound to delight both Kris Allen and Adam Lambert fans. The show, still unnamed, features Allen and Lambert bringing the musical variety format back to TV, and rolling out a live half-h...
Read full storyBecks and Rooney win the Nobel Prize for Literature, you know, like!
To everybody's astonishment including literature professors at Oxford and Cambridge Universities, Becks and Roon have scooped this years Nobel Prize for world literature, you know, like! They were given the prize for inventing a brand new language...
Read full storyBritain Tops World League For 3rd Time!
Once again, and for the third time in less than 2 weeks, plucky little Great Britain has triumphed in a world league championship. An Illinois, USA, University survey has revealed British women are the Western world's most promiscuous, with seven...
Read full storyDavid Blaine Vow - I Will Be Buried With Jacko
David Blaine has announced his latest desperate attention-seeking scheme. Cancelling a planned event in which he was to have been turned inside out for 53 days in an attempt to beat the World Record (set by Sister John-Paul of the Manhattan Island...
Read full storyJalapenoworld Set To Open
Las Cruces NM - TheSpoof.com points billionaire Jalapenoman plans on opening the world's largest theme park devoted to Jalapenos just outside of Las Cruces on the fourth of July which coincidently is his birthday. J-man as he is known explained th...
Read full storyRelentless heatwave, build-up to Earth's July 4 solar aphelion 'playing havoc with royal pacemaker'
Holyrood Palace - (Karmic Ass Mess): Scientists are warning that ominous solar activity and a surge in hot weather is playing havoc with the Queen's pacemaker. The Earth's July 4, Independence Day solar aphelion could effectively jam the microwave...
Read full storyMichael Jackson To Dr. Klein - "I'll Have A Chin, A Nose, Drugs...And A Side Order Of Kids"
Beverly Hills, CA - It has been revealed that Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, may in fact be the biological father of his children. As well as children, Dr. Klein supplied Michael Jackson with many of his medical needs, including,...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Body To Be Sent To Cryonics Center, Says Cryonics Today Magazine
The magazine's report, appearing in the issue that hits the newsstands Wednesday, is based on internal documents, e-mails, photographs and tape recordings supplied by an anonymous employee of the Elcor Life Extension Foundation. After Michael Jack...
Read full storyIraq's oil liberated, withdraws from Iraq along with U.S. troops
Iraq celebrated the withdrawal of its 300 billion barrels of oil reserves along with American troops from its cities with parades, fireworks and a national holiday on Tuesday as the prime puppet of Iraq Nuri Maliki trumpeted the sovereignty of its va...
Read full storyTraces of human growth hormone found in Jackson body
Los Angeles - (Rioters): Was Michael Jackson taking the human growth hormone somatropin in a bid to stimulate a pathologically retarded metabolism? That's the question plagueing Jackson family autopsy specialists after traces of carpal tunnel synd...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Father Plants Vineyard at Neverland - Will Sell 'Jesus Juice'
Napa, Ca - Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, aka 'The King Of Pop', has planted a vineyard at Neverland and will start marketing 'Jesus Juice', a fizzy wine product, aimed at introducing alcohic beverages to pre-teens. "We have to s...
Read full storyMan sells 20p coin for a fortune
Rick Drains from Chelmsford has become one of the first people in the UK to sell a new 20p coin on one of the popular internet auction sites, e-by-gum.co.uk. He explained that he couldn't believe his luck when reading about 20p coins in his local...
Read full storySkippy the Bush Kangaroo named Australian cricket team captain
After the worst spell in Australia's cricketing history, captain Ricky Ponting was sacked today, and the new captain Skippy the Bush Kangaroo was appointed. 'It's an honour to captain my country', Skippy said from his house in Waggawonga, New South W...
Read full storyJackson children DNA link to Warren Jeffs?
Los Angeles - (ReUterus): Forensic gynacologists are studying the DNA of Michael Jackson's two elder (sic) children Prince Michael I and Paris Katherine after polygamy nutter Warren Jeffs' sperm tested positive. The jailed fundamentalist is believ...
Read full storyWhorse-doping drug Ketamine removed from Jackson mansion
Los Angeles - (Toxic Ass Mess): Several kilos of the powerful equine stimulant/NMDA receptor antagonist Ketamine have been removed from Michael Jackson's Bel Air mansion according to press reports. Police said today that the popular party circuit...
Read full storyWet Dreams - Do You Remember Them?
We all look back on our youth through rose-tinted spectacles, remembering our naive wide-eyed innocence and conveniently forgetting how we bullied other youths; weaker, uglier and less popular youths - often demanding money and cutting their faces with a scalpel if they didn't reciprocate, or a few days spent in the 'hot-box of hell' to give them time to think about it. They always paid up. Yes...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus & Jonas Brothers Annoyed By Siblings Who Will Voice Porn Animation
It seems that Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers both agree that it is hard to be looked up to... Even if we're talking family! The pair have both said, in different interviews, that it feels like "homework" when their "siblings look up to" them b...
Read full story"Kentucky" Kevin Skinner - America's Got Talent's Early Favorite
LOS ANGELES - Kentucky 'good old boy' Kevin Skinner shuffled onto the America's Got Talent stage, started singing a Garth Brooks song, and he blew the audience and the judges away. David Hasselhoff's mouth fell open. Piers Morgan's eyes opened wid...
Read full storyMajor Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-8
Major again gagged and blindfolded the man and checked the padlock on the chain. Next, he padlocked the entrance to the cave and called Sergeant to stand guard. Then, he took his shotgun and enough ammunition, and along with Captain, they set out to make a campfire. Having made the fire, they two hid in a crevice to ambush the men. As soon as the pillar of dark smoke reached up into the sky, t...
Read full storyA Second Hannah Montana Movie In Pre-Production After Miley Cyrus Accepted A Paycheck Of $2,000,000 & Jonas Brothers As Cameo
The sequel to "Hannah Montana: The Movie" is already in pre-production after Miley Cyrus accepted to return as Hannah Montana for what her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, called "the final Hannah Montana, for real this time!". The story is still unknown...
Read full storyGiant Turd Brings M25 To Standstill
The M25 London orbital motorway today descended into gridlock following the discovery of a giant turd close to the Rickmansworth/Chorleywood turn off, where a Spoof.com writer almost once froze to death while hitchhiking after visiting his kids at Ch...
Read full story'Vast and Unending' Graveyard Unearthed At Michael Jackson's Neverland
Los Olivos, CA - Like a scene from the music video, Thriller, workmen preparing for a public viewing of Michael Jackson at Neverland Ranch, have uncovered over 350 naked corpses, all buried in six foot deep graves. Where these entities came from is a...
Read full storyStar Trek - The End
The end is nigh. Hurtling towards a humungous black hole, Captain Buck Kirk proudly mans the bridge of the Enterprise, lantern jaw sticking out in a bold gesture of defiance, although he fully appreciates that the ship will shortly be vaporised. Spock places a gentle hand on Captain Buck Kirk's upper arm, but not in a gay way, and says: "It's over Captain. It's all over. There's nothing w...
Read full storyCalorie Restriction Diet Plan Aided By Tapeworms
Beverly Hills, CA - The new Calorie Restricted Diet Plan, made popular by talk-show host, Oprah, has a further development - tapeworms. Live Healthy, Live Longer...and Gain A New Pet Dr. Irwin Melish, homeopath, thinks that by supplementing the...
Read full storyGenetics Research Institute Identifies Cause of GOP Philandering
The World famous Genetics Research Institute (GRI), also known as 'Genny' (pronounced as Jenny) recently issued a limited circulation 568-page report that details the increasing propensity of the GOP to engage in extramarital affairs and other sexual...
Read full storyIraq Impregnated with Bastard Democracy After US Pulls Out Too Late
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citizens celebrated Tuesday in the streets of Iraq as the U.S. began withdrawing its 130,000 troops from the troubled country. As it turns out, the celebration may be short lived, as America's violation of Iraqi sovereignty alread...
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