Iraq's oil liberated, withdraws from Iraq along with U.S. troops

Funny story written by Onionuttapam

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

image for Iraq's oil liberated, withdraws from Iraq along with U.S. troops

Iraq celebrated the withdrawal of its 300 billion barrels of oil reserves along with American troops from its cities with parades, fireworks and a national holiday on Tuesday as the prime puppet of Iraq Nuri Maliki trumpeted the sovereignty of its vast oil reserves from national control. Along with the pullback of American troops, Iraq's oil will withdraw from its soil and join the reserves of giant international oil companies who were thrown out from Iraq when its oil industry was nationalized in 1972.

It has taken Iraqi oil over six years of war, carnage and terrorism resulting in loss of over a million Iraqi lives to liberate itself from Iraq's soil and go back to its original owners - multinational oil companies including Exxon, Shell, BP & Chevron who have gathered at Iraq's oil ministry to take part in the bidding process.

Iraq oil's freedom from Iraq government's control wasn't easy and came at the cost of blood of millions of Iraqi people who resisted giving up control of its oil reserves. It enlisted the help of US troops who were forced to bomb Baghdad, destroy the city of Fallujah and attack densely populated suburbs like Sadr city to liberate the country from Saddam Hussein, Iraq's former dictator who didn't want to give up his control over its oil fields.

Even after US troops liberated Iraq from Saddam Hussein, Iraq's oil faced stiff resistance from its Sunni population forcing the American-supported Shiite government to unleash Shiite death squads who violently ended their resistance through numerous terror attacks which has resulted in the ruining of Iraq's economy with underemployment and unemployment figures reaching nearly 50 percent.

While the liberation of Iraqi oil may have destroyed the economy of Iraq, it is expected to boost the balance sheets of oil giants. Exxon's CEO Rex Tillerson said that oil reserves do not belong to any nation or its people, but to mother earth. As custodians of the planet, it is the sacred duty of oil transnational companies to liberate oil reserves from national boundaries for the benefit of entire humanity. He thanked the people of Iraq and American troops for the sacrifices they had made. "Rivers of blood have flowed so that pipes of oil can flow freely"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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