'Vast and Unending' Graveyard Unearthed At Michael Jackson's Neverland

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

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Neverland Resident

Los Olivos, CA - Like a scene from the music video, Thriller, workmen preparing for a public viewing of Michael Jackson at Neverland Ranch, have uncovered over 350 naked corpses, all buried in six foot deep graves. Where these entities came from is anybody's guess. What is certain is that most if not all, display the marks consistent with foul play - murder.

At this point, there are two lines of thought. One theory is that Mr. Jackson, wealthy and eccentric, had purchased these corpses through traditional means; from museums, medical facilities or other institutions that regularly handle dead bodies. It wouldn't be to difficult for someone of unlimited financial resources to amass such a collection. Why someone would do this is beyond the realm of collective reasoning.

A second, and more sinister theory, is that behind the face of a humanitarian entertainer lay the heart of a cold-blooded serial killer. It would seem that only through the use of DNA evidence, will this mystery be solved.

In the meantime speculation will no doubt be rampant and some men's imaginations may get the better of them. As a result, details of the discovery have been few and far between. Governor Schwarzenneger has issued a total publication ban on any further activities at the Ranch.

In Schwarzennegers words, "...It is, how should I put this, ...a vast and unending graveyard. It is in the best interests of the community, a community for which I am duty bound to protect, for me to ban the publication of any further details regarding this discovery."

Few, if any, however, believe that will stop TMZ.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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