Written by Blazing Saddle

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

image for Britain Tops World League For 3rd Time!
Peter Stringfellar outside his luxury nightclub

Once again, and for the third time in less than 2 weeks, plucky little Great Britain has triumphed in a world league championship.

An Illinois, USA, University survey has revealed British women are the Western world's most promiscuous, with seven in ten having one-night stands.

It also discovered 40 per cent of UK women have had unprotected sex with a stranger.

Commenting, Peter Stringfellar, 96, the proprieter and chief pimp of a well-known British night spot, said "It makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?"

Stringfellar also revealed that he had "enjoyed" the 7 out of ten referred to in the report and that he was "working on the other 3".

It is not known when Illinois University carried out the research, but it may have been on one of Stringfellar's BOGOF nights when the ambience is taken upmarket in an attempt to attract z-list celebs. It is tempting to speculate that streetwise Brits might have put one over on the naive, middle-American researchers during the event.

"Well", remarked greying, balding, mulleted Lothario Stringfellar, when asked to comment on the high percentage of British women who will have unprotected sex, "with condoms the price I charge, there's no way the dole will stretch that far".

This reporter left without further comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Britain




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