Written by Wire Piddle

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Father Plants Vineyard at Neverland - Will Sell 'Jesus Juice'
~Jesus Juice - 'The King of Pop'~

Napa, Ca - Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, aka 'The King Of Pop', has planted a vineyard at Neverland and will start marketing 'Jesus Juice', a fizzy wine product, aimed at introducing alcohic beverages to pre-teens.

"We have to spread the word," Mr. Jackson stated. "Alcoholic beverages need not be limited to adults. There's a whole untapped market for fizzy wine."

Mr. Jackson will unveil the new 'Jesus Juice' at Jackson's memorial service. When asked how he was able to procure the product and package it so fast that it could be offered by Friday, Mr. Jackson says that he had "...a dedicated staff and willing suppliers who kicked into gear at a the drop of a hat, or should I say....glove."

"Billy Mays had nothing on Joe Jackson, that's all I can say. Har...har...har...har...har."

One third of the profits are said to be going to an orphanage in New Orleans to be headed by recently paroled catholic priests.

Should the venture prove a success, Mr. Jackson expressed an interest in branching out into other watered down beverages such as 'Elton's Gin', 'Ringo's Rum' and 'Adam Lambert Altwater' - a licorice flavoured liqueur only a mother could love.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Michael Jackson




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
89 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more