Bernie Madoff May Be Released in 50 Years

Funny story written by NickFun

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

image for Bernie Madoff May Be Released in 50 Years
Madoff hinted that he stil has nearly $10,000 in cash in offshore accounts that he plans on using when he's released.

In a deal worked out with prosecutors, attorneys for Ponzi scheme king Bernard Madoff assured their client that he would not have to serve more than 1/3 of his original 150 year sentence and could be released in as little as 50 years.

71-year-old Madoff was overjoyed at hearing that he would have to serve such little time. "I though for sure I would spend the rest of my life here", Madoff stated. "The world's oldest human lived to be 122. I could be released when I am 121 and really enjoy the last year of my life!"

Victims of Madoff were outraged at the deal prosecutors presented. "I want to make sure he spends at least a hundred years in hell after he dies", said Madoff victim Cheryl Lostbucks.

Prosecutors contend they have little influence over what happens to Madoff after he dies but will leave that issue to God, Allah or the eternal Law of Causality.

"I think it's fair that Bernie get out after 50 years", said his attorney Ira Lee Sorkin. "He'll probably be dead in 10 years anyway. And if he makes it the full 50 more power to him. I can't stand the dirtbag either."

Madoff assured prison officials that he will be on his best behavior to qualify for the early release.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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