Woman Loses Breast Implants in Poker Game

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Madeline (sometimes called Maddy or Madame) Bitters just set a new record for losses in a game of poker. While many people have lost their car, their home, or even the shirt off of their backs, she lost her breast implants.

"I went to Las Vegas because it was my birthday and got involved in a game of Texas Hold'em (I thought that I could win just because I'm from Texas). Next thing I know, I've gone all in on a Queen high nothing. Since I wanted to keep playin', clothes and body parts were next. I didn't lose my panties, but I don't think she wanted them anyway."

Bitters, who makes her living jumping out of cakes (made at a Dallas area HEB bakery), says that there is a little bit of upside to this loss.

"Well, I'll actually have more room to breathe inside the cake now that I'm back to my natural "A" cups. I also won't won't need as big an opening in the top."

The woman that won the implants, Allison (Ally) Chamone of England, said "my man Fergus thinks I'm hot now. Wait until he sees me with this pair. These puppies are going all over the internet when I get home!"

Ally beat her opponent with a pair of sixes and a pair of nines (known as the "double sixty-nine").

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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