A Health and Safety Executive investigation has been launched today after a 48-year-old man suffered burns over 99% of his body when he used a machine at an unstaffed tanning salon in Dudley.
The man, Shadrach Umbongo, went along to the Black & Tan Studio in the West Midlands town last week, and initially put £1 into a coin operated sunbed to 'top up' his all-over holiday tan which he acquired whilst in Blackpool last summer.
After 5 minutes, however, Umbongo felt that he was not tanned enough, and paid £3 for another 15 minutes. He then fell asleep, and when the machine malfunctioned, and he failed to wake up, the poor chap just got blacker and blacker!
When another customer entered the studio and asked who had burnt toast, the manager, who had just come out of the toilet after having a crafty wank, realised that something was amiss, and rescued poor Shadrach in the nick of time.
Fire officers called to the scene were amazed at the quality of Umbongo's tan. One said:
"He was as black as the ace of spades! Just like that Mugabe fella!"
Mr Umbongo was taken to hospital for checks but was later released after being bathed in Calomine Lotion by a sexy student nurse.
