England Cricket Team The Toast Of The Caribbean

Written by Mister Meaner

Thursday, 19 February 2009

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England's cricketers were the toast of the Caribbean tonight, as they failed miserably to bowl out the West Indies to take the second Test match here in Antigua.

The hosts, who needed to score 503 for an unlikely last-day victory, decided instead that survival and a draw were more achievable, and dug in at the crease, intent on frustrating England's useless bowlers.

The tourists had occasional successes, but for the most part, looked wholly incapable of bowling out the Windies, and the partisan Antiguan crowd heartily cheered every blocked ball during the last session.

The home side finished on a precarious 370 for 9, and received a standing ovation as the last-wicket partnership of Daran Powell and Fidel Edwards saw off England's inept 'attack' to deny the latter a series-levelling victory.

West Indian hero Powell was jubilant, but acknowledged the debt he owed to the England players for sparing his team the embarrassment of a defeat. He said:

"We owe this memorable result to the ineptitude of the England squad, and especially to Graeme Swann for bowling the last over underarm."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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