Gary, Indiana, / Cosmetology News/ Personal Dating Service Update - Unlikely as it may seem, a little viewed personal ad in a local food market flyer may be responsible for hooking up two world record holders.
Somehow, the food market flyer given away free in Indiana, found it's way to India and was read by Radhakant Baljpal,58, a local grocer. Rads, as he is known locally, is credited with cultivating the world's longest ear hairs, up to 10 inches, which are washed daily with an herbal shampoo. When fully groomed and blow dried he looks similar to a Portuguese Water Spaniel, although he is not registered at the West Minister Kennel Club.
The ad that caught his eye was from Linda Lou Taylor, 68, who is currently single after being married 23 times, setting a new SWF record according to a Hindu Dating Service. Ms. Taylor, single for the past 12 years, claims she is lonely and misses male companionship.
Investigators following up on the story said Ms. Taylor has not been lucky in love, having married 2 gay men, 2 homeless men, several that cheated on her, and several middle aged balding men from the UK that she met on a bus while visiting London as a tourist.
The Brits, unfortunately, were ultimately found to be lacking in interpersonal relationship skills, preferring to spend their off hours with their mates in pubs, or traveling around the EU following football matches, sometimes for weeks at a time, often returning bruised and battered and suffering from an infestation of French Crabs and ingrown snails.
The pair say they have been corresponding for some time on the internet, and Mr. Baljpal is currently single having divorced his wife after she continued to complain about his ear hair getting in the curry every night at dinner.
The budding relationship may reach fulfillment soon, as both have decided to respond to a special reunion for freaks scheduled near Orlando, Fl, this coming spring.
Rad and Linda Lou said they were flattered to accept the offer by The Spoof.Com to attend a world wide network party hosted by Spoof Writer BuckwheatsButt, (hopefully a site name only), and paid for by editor
Mark Lawton, himself a record holder.
Mark recently dethroned a former Japanese Sumo Wrestler for the record of eating toasted cheese sandwiches for 3500 consecutive days. This practice did result in some side effects including the excessive use of enemas for "some bowel binding issues," and clogging the ESC tab on his editorial key board, resulting in many great stories being inadvertently shipped to The Magazine Section where they died a lonely death when no one read them.
The FAB couple will be joined by a host of other famous Spoof personalities, most of whom have some prominent physical feature related to sexual reproduction, that has propelled them, and their creators, to the top of the Spoof's hit list.
