Child father known to Police

Funny story written by NODDY

Thursday, 19 February 2009

image for Child father known to Police
Alfie caught stealing last month

Baby-father Alfie was well known to police before becoming "father" to a baby, Police have revealed.

The 12-year-old was cautioned for dealing drugs at age 3 years, spent six months inside at age 5 for stealing cars and joyriding, was arrested for drunken violent affray in a tattoo parlour aged 7 and assaulted a policewoman in a massage parlour with a handgun, aged 8.

He spent 1 year in a Young Offenders Borstal aged 9 for running a brothel/crack house.

He has only completed a total of 3 years schooling and so can barely read or write, but is expected to collect benefits and housing worth £25,000 per year for at least the next 15 years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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