New Joint Invented

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Thursday, 19 February 2009

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Theresa Freshwood now has her own joint problems

Timothy Burr, a cabinet maker from Nottingham, has invented a new form of woodworking joint. It is a straight cut interleaved joint between two flat pieces of wood, such as in the back corner of a drawer, but with an important addition.

Whereas in a normal Finger or Box Comb Joint there is a tendency for the interlocking 'fingers' of wood to pull apart, the new joint includes a rod which passes through the joint from top to bottom, pinning the pieces together.

"It has the simplicity of a Box Comb Joint but the strength of a Dovetail", he claimed. "I got the idea from watching my girlfriend interlink her fingers," said Tim, "and I could see that there wasn't anything stopping her fingers from parting. However, when I hammered a 3 inch nail down through all her fingers, everything stayed put."

His girlfriend, Theresa Freshwood, has since left him because she felt she was too young to be pinned down. She had tried to bring charges against Tim, but couldn't point him out in a line up, and felt her hands were tied. Forced to sell her second hand shop, Theresa now relies on handouts, and says that when she was struggling Tim never lifted a finger to help.

Tim thinks she should have just knuckled down, but feels he will have the last laugh. "She'll be sorry when the royalties start coming in hand over fist", he told me. "They're talking about at least six digits".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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