Written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 19 February 2009

image for Five Civilized Tribes Decide It's No Fun

Descendants of the Five Civilized Tribes (The Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Creek, and Seminole tribes) ahve decided that being civilized is not much fun after all and have announced that they are going to give up that designation.

Said Cherokee Chief George Rat Turd, "I hate having to dress up in a button up shirt and tie every day and to sit in my office and look important. I'd much rather put on waders and go fishin'."

This sentiment was echoed by 83% of his fellow tribesmen and members of the other four tribes as they voted to remove the distinction of "Civilized" from their group.

"Who wants to be civilized?" asked Seminole Indian Annie Bear Piss. "I look at Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and I don't see any civilizing at all. I just see a couple of girls having fun!"

As each of these tribes own casinos (Indian Gaming), each adult is paid enough money annually that they never have to work again in their lives.

"I'm tired of living in the south with all these rednecks and watching them have fun and getting drunk on weekends and salivating at the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. Screw civilizing! Give me my wild, wild, whooping and a hollering like a banshee Indian heritage back. I was born to party," said Creek Chief Russell Farting Dog. "Jack Daniels...now there's a Great Spirit!"

Only 17% of his tribal brothers and sisters disagree.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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