Shuttle Discovery hijacked as Mckinnon takes revenge on NASA
Facing extradition to the USA, Gary Mckinnon took revenge on his ensuing captors, by hacking into NASA computers & hijacking the Shuttle Discovery & forcing it to land in shitty Scotland. The Shuttle had planned to Dock with the Internatio...
Read full storyMan Unmoved by Michael Jackson Story, Beaten to Death by Local Press
Hollywood, Ca. - A local man who continued to live his life in peace the same way he had before the death of Michael Jackson was mobbed by reporters and then beaten, stomped, kicked, stabbed, shit one and then set on fire in front of the County Court...
Read full storyEPA says Limbaugh, Beck and Coulter are cause of Global Warming and must leave Earth
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - The head of the Environmental Protection Agency told a shocked Washington Press Corps Tuesday that right-wing broadcasters Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter have been determined to be the chief cause of Global Warmin...
Read full story2009 Presidential Inaugural Committee bundler Nemazee busted for $74 million Citigroupie fraud
New York - (Off-the-Wall-Street Mess): FBI agents pounced on Obama bundler and Iranian-American investment banker Hassan Nemazee on Sunday and charged him with a $74 million fraud. Nemazee, 69, has been caught using forged papers to secure borrowi...
Read full storyTrue Purpose of "Cash for Clunkers" Finally Revealed
The true purpose behind the government's "Cash for Clunkers" program has finally been revealed in the latest press release from the Obama Administration. In the program, auto companies paid up to $4500 trade-in for clunkers that had no real value (t...
Read full storyChinese Mix "Talking Doll" With Adult Dolls That Talk
The telephones at both "Toys Are Ours" and "Adult Moves" were both ringing off the hook today as thousands of customers were either wanting their money back or were ready to sue. The reason? Their baby girl's "Talky Toni Dolls" were saying "Do it...
Read full storyMitt Romney to Change First Name
Mitt Romney, a candidate for the Republican Presidential nomination, has decided that his lack of success was due to his first name and wants a change. "People just don't take you seriously with a name like Mitt. They think of baseball and have...
Read full storyShock Revelation - Lord Mangelson Ancestors Were Turnips
The Dark Lord, as he is familiarly known to many in and around the cottages of Hampstead Heath, was keen to participate in the well-known genealogy TV series "Who Do You Think You Are". Petey-Poos, as he loves to be called, was staggered to discov...
Read full storyMelanie Griffith In Rehab For Third Time, Out To Break Limbaugh, Clinton Record?
Third times the charm so maybe Melanie Griffith's third visit to the same ski resort rehab will do the job. Mrs. Antonio Banderas or Melanie Griffith, claims she is not there to beat Rush Limbaugh and Bill Clinton's (For sex addiction) record of f...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Death Ruled A Homicide
The death of Michael Jackson has been ruled a homicide and not an accident. Jackson died to the the effects of a lethal does of narcotics in his system that were provided to him by his private physician. Multiple prescriptions for the medicatio...
Read full storyWorld's Biggest Dog Stuck in Train Tunnel
Salem Gap, NC - Eight year old Johnny Stumph could tell his dog Jack was going to grow larger than most dogs when Jack would pull him on his skateboard up town Mountain Road. "When Jack was just a puppy I'd tie a rope around him and he'd pull me...
Read full storyObama To Hit One Out Of Ballpark
Sinking like the Titanic, President Obama will have to hit one out of the ballpark with a Jeremiah Wright kind of speech, and save his health care bill. Mixed metaphors, but visually understandable. The President wants health care coverage for ev...
Read full storyBooger Creek Man Wild Over First Vacation!
A day-long trip to Kentucky Kingdom this week afforded Booger Creek factory worker John Joe Hampton the most pleasant moments of his 59-year-old life. Hampton, who has worked as a welding specialist for Holly Carburetor 35 years in nearby Booger Green, said he had never been to the 125-acre theme park, despite living less than eighty-five miles away in northern Tennessee. "I never knowed wha...
Read full storyMelanie Griffith Makes Third Appearance in Drug and Alchohol Rehab Center
Melanie Griffith, star of Working girl and wife of Antonio Banderas, is back in rehab for the third time in the past eleven years. The daughter of actress Tippi Hedron and ex-wife of Don Johnson, however, treated the latest stay as if it were an app...
Read full storyCome Back Colin Short - We Really Need You!
A Spoof contributor, who we won't name, because he's a bit of a twat, today appealed for one time Spoof writer Colin Short, to return to the fold. "I'd not been aware of Colin's stories, until today, when he was put up as featured writer," Legenda...
Read full storyCIA torture tactics condemned by the rest of the world, but they ask, "please don't research our methods!"
The CIA (The real one not Jagged's own CIA alias Cockroach infiltration army) have been globally condemned for their inhumane torture tactics! Now Jaggedone thought about this and immediately sent his own CIA (see above!) out to those nations comp...
Read full storySusan Boyle To Do Scheduled Michael Jackson Tour
Apparently "Britain Has Talent" star Susan Boyle is going to complete the final tour planned for Michael Jackson before his sudden death two months ago, according to her manager, Sean MacBeth. MacBeth admits that the show will be different but not...
Read full storyObama Administration Changes "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
For many years, the United States Military dealt with homosexuals and other perverts with a policy of "don't ask, don't tell." Soldiers were to keep their non-normal sexual orientations and desires to themselves and not discuss these. With the Ob...
Read full storyHorror Stalks Suffolk Town (Again)
In scenes not dissimilar to a few years ago, when wicked prostitute choker Steve Wright was loose, the quiet Suffolk Town of Ipswich is under siege again today. At about 2am on Sunday Morning a fiend of staggering evil struck again. Exactly 2...
Read full storyHitler moustache look is the latest fashion rage, Brad Pitt-ler and actor Richard Herring (who! reincarnation of Charlie Chaplin, but less funny!) grew it!
Brad Pitt-ler in his latest Tarantino blockbuster and Richard Herring (lesser known than Brad but starring in Edinburgh as a Charlie Chaplin lookalike!) have created a fashion storm, THE HITLER MOUSTACHE! Prince Harry has also been sighted in his...
Read full storyGerbils: The Other White Meat
Researchers have determined that gerbils, hampsters, guinea pigs, mice, rats, and other rodents are high in essential vitamins and nutrients and may be the perfect food. Eight ounces of roasted gerbil meat contains all of the required ingredients to...
Read full story'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre' Author Rushed to Hospital.
The author of popular satirical website TheSpoof.com Magazine article, 'Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre' has been rushed to hospital suffering from a totally out of control case of the 'vapours' Not being entirely certain...
Read full storyBatman Retires
He has fought Gotham City's Criminal's and Mad Men,for the last 70 years. But today The Dark Knight has officially announced he is retiring from crime fighting. Batman made the announcement on his official website,live from the Batcave. "I'm ge...
Read full storyMan Spends $4.6 Million To Be On Top Of Marilyn Monroe
An unidentified, deep-pocketed millionaire was the winning bidder to spend the rest of eternity in a crypt directly above Marilyn Monroe, according to EBay, Inc. Unconfirmed Sources managed to locate the new owner of the crypt. "I will be on top...
Read full storySpoof Writer Says "I Left the Left in San Francisco"
A Spoof Writer known for his nonsensical leftist platitudes uttered with "keen insight" and "superior intellect," has given into the Barack Obama mantra and accepted "Change." That change, however, does not meet with Democratic Party approval. "...
Read full storyUSA Protests - Libyan Oil Is American Oil Not Scottish Oil
In a hissy fit the like of which has not been seen since John McEnroe's glory days at Wimbledon, the USA has declared its position on Libyan oil reserves. "We do not actually give a skinny shit about the release of the Lockerbie bomber - it was on...
Read full storyThe Secret of Why Fidel Castro at 83, Looks So Damn Young
HAVANA, Cuba - Cuban doctors who recently examined the former Cuban leader Fidel Castro, 83, are astounded as to how young Castro is looking. Dr. Sebastiano Ranchito the Cuban surgeon general said that he has never seen el ex-presidente looking so...
Read full storyOutcry As Brown Released Early
London (Foggy, Sherlock Holmes) There was international outcry at the decision to release Gordon Brown early. Brown has been behind bars for his part in one of the biggest acts of economic terrorism ever seen. Millions have suffered as a result o...
Read full storySusan Boyle Movie Planned With Robin Williams or Wilford Brimley In Lead Role
Although Brimley is "still in the picture", most of Hollywood says that comedian and actor Robin Williams will be playing Susan in a movie planned to start filming at any time. If Williams takes the role and he's admitted he wants it, Brimley is s...
Read full storyHollywood Star Runs Over Himself
Sometimes playing dumb in movies an on TV is a natural gift. Perhaps this explains why Cheers star, Woody Harrelson, took a wrong turn and plowed his vehicle into Central Park last night, running over a pedestrian...named Woody Harrelson. It all s...
Read full storyBarack Obama Forces United Nations to Appoint Oprah Winfrey As Secretary General
Barack Obama, the popular President of the United States, forced the United Nations to appoint Oprah Winfrey as Secretary General. Ban Ki-Moon, current holder of the position, voluntarily stepped down from the office due to the group of ACORN stormt...
Read full storyCameron: "I had the odd fag at Eton"
David Cameron has admitted to having the odd fag at Eton. Fagging is no longer practiced in Britain's public schools, but was a system where younger pupils were required to act as servants, or fags, to the older boys. Now, Mr Jeremy Sniverley-Minc...
Read full storyDanyl Johnson Rocks 'Em On The X-Factor
LONDON - Dance and drama teacher Danyl Johnson brought the house down on The X-Factor, which is Britain's equivalent of American Idol. The 27-year-old sang a version of Joe Cocker's "With A Little Help From My Friends" and he brought the audience...
Read full storyObama to Increase Supreme Court Size to 15
In an effort to control the only branch of government not currently under his thumb, President Barack Obama announced plans to increase the size of the Supreme Court from nine to fifteen justices. Prior to his administration, the White House had bee...
Read full storyGlenn Beck Loses 33 Sponsors Only Has 3 Left
NEW YORK CITY - Network executives are expressing extreme concern as several more sponsors have asked that their commercials be pulled from The Glenn Beck Show. One executive has disclosed that so far Beck's show has had a total of 33 sponsors pul...
Read full storyMyth Busted - Altoid Mints Do Not Improve Fellatio
Sometimes, we all wish we could be Mythbusters. The latest triumph for the team debunks the long-standing urban myth that chewing Altoid mints prior to giving head can improve sensation for the fellated one. The male Mythbusters were provided wi...
Read full storyHarrasment of Man With World's Largest Penis Continues After Arrest Following Unintentional Discharge of Weapon In NY Gentleman's Club!
New York, NY/ Shotgun News - The government pursuit and harassment of Bargis Tryhol, Man with the World's Largest Penis, continued unabated with his announced arrest after an "accidental discharge" of an "unlicensed weapon" early this morning on th...
Read full storyBlackwater hangs out Help Wanted sign
In an effort to improve their domestic operation, Blackwater Corppoation, the darling of the Defense Department has decided to start a domestic operation to boost it's sales and improve its image. Starting it's recruiting effort at Health Care ral...
Read full story1000 CCTV Cameras For One Conviction
One thousand CCTV cameras are used to secure every conviction of every criminal in Britain! This impressive statistic was provided by the Society Of Camera Retailers And Professionals (SOCRAP) at the society's annual awards dinner. "This means...
Read full storyThe Tale Of Freddie Law
This is the tale of Freddy Law whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door. By the time they freed him, he didn't feel well for his private parts were mangled to hell. They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew, but when they arrived, there's nought they could do. What a bad blow for Fred, condemned without choice, to live with no sex and a high squeaking voice. But lucky for Fr...
Read full storyInbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 8
"Oh forget it," Todd sulks. He's pissed because Buck has been making the beast with two backs with his girlfriend, Angie. "I already did," Buck says. "She looked goddamned jam hot in that damp tee-shirt. But she's just a kid really. She needs to do some pelvic floor exercises and work on tightening her grip. If you get my drift." "You bastard!" Angie gasps. "Did I come at an inconvenie...
Read full storyThe Spoof - Writers Vindicated - Jacko WAS Murdered!
Spoof insiders can today reflect on a job well done. Spoof writers reported many aspects of Michael Jackson' death that the investigation team would never have considered and thus inspired the police to dig deep. "It was a report by Spoof Writer B...
Read full storyBarack Obama: An Illegal 'Alien'?
There has been much controversy recently concerning the legality of President Barack Obama's residency as a citizen of the United States. A group known as the "Birther Movement" has claimed that he is not a naturalized citizen of the United States an...
Read full storyJamie Oliver Reveals African Roots
Kitchen (Pukka Grub Jools) Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has revealed that he has African roots. It has been suspected for many years that he was not a genuine cockney. Now he has revealed that his family have Sudanese origins. "Well pukka! When I...
Read full storyBrett Favre's Left Arm Retires
Eden Prairie, Minn - NFL legend Brett Favre has retired - sort of. The 39-year-old quarterback held a press conference today at the Minnesota Vikings training facility. During the press conference Favre dropped a bombshell by announcing that his le...
Read full storyInbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part 7
"You had sex?" Fran says. "Oh my God!" "Oh yeah," Lola purrs. "It was like a baby's arm clutching an apple. My God, whoever he was he had the right moves." "So what happened to him?" Fran asks, leading her friend to a seat. "I don't know," Lola says. "But if he wants some more I'm definitely up for it." Todd looks on as a fire burns in his soul. His girlfriend is in bed with Buck, the...
Read full storySea Monster In Miami Was Cher!
Police in Miami Beach now believe that the "Awful Melted Beast" that came out of the Ocean onto the beach and frightened so many people, causing a stampede and three people to be ran over and slightly hurt in the mass panic last Sunday, may well have...
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