CIA torture tactics condemned by the rest of the world, but they ask, "please don't research our methods!"

Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

image for CIA torture tactics condemned by the rest of the world, but they ask, "please don't research our methods!"
Torture victim in Russian Stalag, "the torture' s OK, but the fucking food stinks!!

The CIA (The real one not Jagged's own CIA alias Cockroach infiltration army) have been globally condemned for their inhumane torture tactics!

Now Jaggedone thought about this and immediately sent his own CIA (see above!) out to those nations complaing hardest, EN-COCK-ROACHED into their local prisons and here are the intrepid CIA reporters reports:

China = downtown 5***** hotel/prison called the Shanghai House of Horrors, Dept. Mongolian, Tibetan dissidents!

Electro shocks in very sensitive areas, Chinese waterboarding, Chinese Roulette (guns loaded with 5 bullets and one empty chamber), etc, etc!

Russia = Stalags in Siberia 5***** comfort, freezing temps, food that even Jagged's cockroaches would not touch, naked ice cold water treading for 48 hours, real Russian roulette, failure to divulge secrets = locked up in dungeons naked for 1 week, min 50 degrees celsius, certain death!

Latin American states = As above only not so cold therefore homosexual rapings by pervert prison guards, cat o nine tail whippings, buried alive in coffins for 24 hours, non-cooperation results in disappearance into hidden mass graves in the tropical rain forests, insects do the rest!

India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, etc: Torture for max 48 hours as above, pigs food, non-cooperation = certain removal of organs for sales to Europe operated by Dr. Deaths, resulting in certain death!

Arabian countries = everything mentioned above, non-cooperation results in a swift removal of the hands with a sharp sword, further non-cooperation, the head!

Isreal: Mainly as above + Jackbooted guards kicking the shit out of mainly Palestinian terrorists, threat of rape to their families, regular leaking of deadly gas into their cells (they were taught well by who?) and if guards in bad mood, shooting practice during prisoners fresh air break!

The list is endless, Jaggedone also sent his intrepid cockroach reporters to African prisons, UUGH! Those who were lucky enough to return had no legs, arms or tongues and were besmitten with AIDS!

Jaggedone has just booked his holiday in the US Guantanamo Bay 7****** star luxury prison, price includes torture a lá CIA, seems like a luxury Spa compared to those other shitholes!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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