Obama To Hit One Out Of Ballpark

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

image for Obama To Hit One Out Of Ballpark
"Is it a bird, a plane, no it's an Obama speech."

Sinking like the Titanic, President Obama will have to hit one out of the ballpark with a Jeremiah Wright kind of speech, and save his health care bill. Mixed metaphors, but visually understandable.

The President wants health care coverage for every citizen in the United States. Senior citizens already have Medicare and love it. Single Payer is the same as Medicare and would provide health care coverage for everyone else. And everyone would have their own safe lifeboat.

Who dislikes Single Payer coverage? Insurance companies, or the medical/pharmaceutical industrial complex. They'd lose their monopoly over the industry and it would torpedo their profits.

Some health care executives are paid as much as $100,000 a day. Not per year, but each and every $ingle day! And these guys don't carpool. Yep! Limos and they fly around in corporate jets paid for from profits gleaned through monthly health care payments.

So maybe you get an annual exam for prostrate cancer or a mammogram, but a liver transplant? Get a life jacket. Thread water. Run the clock out with paper work.

Rumor has it that the Department of Defense is thinking of merging with government health care. They're already into national defense. Just add national health. Easy on the stationary.

And who better to subcontract with a munitions company, (like Lockheed/Martin Marietta or Boeing) to design and manufacture a miniature smart missile to zap a cancerous tumor to smithereens, with an after-burn of vitamins? Insurgent allergy? Send in the drones. Athlete's foot? Land mine whisperers.

Plastic surgery would remain an elective out of pocket expense. Viagra? Covered by health care insurance. Birth control? Out of pocket. This lifeboat ain't exactly perfect. Yet.

Single Payer health care isn't going to pull the plug on grandma, but it will pull the plug on those health care executives earning $alaries of $100,000 per day. That is each and every $ingle day! And they may even have to begin traveling by Greyhound bus...

The only industrial nation without universal health care, Americans have been treading water long enough.

Hit that ball and sail into the sunset.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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