George Michael Quits The Beatles After Only One Day
It appears that those of us waiting for The Beatles reunion tour will have to wait a little longer.
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Poses Nude, Looks Kinda Gross
In a tragic twist of irony, one time music and cinematic superstar, Lindsay Lohan, posed nude for New York Magazine - only to have most readers turn a disgusted eye from the pictures.
Read full storyDiana Dumped Dodi Over Mental Muslim Father Fears
It has emerged during the inquest into the death of Her Ladyship Princess Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed that Diana, Passionate Princess of the People, was about to dump millionaire, Dodi, over fears about his father's impending insanity.
Read full storyEclipse Brings Out Scientists' Sense of Humor Again
Mount Palomar, California (IPP) - Scientists observing last night's lunar eclipse once again showed the world that they have a sense of humor despite the serious nature of their work in the world's largest mountain top astronomy campus.
Read full storySpace Shuttle Atlantis Gets Overhaul
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IPP) - The Space Shuttle Atlantis has been moved into its huge hangar for an overhaul and the addition of new external features.
Read full storyMcCain Makes VP Pick: Jessica Simpson
In a bold and surprising move, presidential candidate John McCain announced today that actress Jessica Simpson has agreed to be his running mate on the Republican presidential ticket. McCain was unusually candid with reporters about his stunning deci...
Read full storyWin $10,000,000 at TheSpoof.com
TheSpoof.com - What would you do with $10,000,000? Would your dreams come true? Here at TheSpoof.com we have a check made out in the sum of TEN MILLION DOLLARS. The only thing missing is YOUR NAME! To have your name written on it all you have to do is correctly answer one simple question.
Read full storyRogue Satellite vows vengeance on America
An angry satellite, which narrowly survived being destroyed by a US missile, is secretly plotting the downfall of the Western superpower, it was revealed tonight.
Read full storyGerman Nudist Airline flight missing amid Pentagon rogue satellite claims
Baden-Baden - (Nude Ass Mess): The recently launched Fokker Nudist Airlines is frantically searching for its ex-Hawaii, Dusseldorf-bound airbus following reports that the Pentagon ordered it shot down over the Pacific after mistaking it for...
Read full storyIrish PM is a "corrupt, ugly b*stard" - Claims Gypsy
The Prime Minister of Ireland (or Taoiseach - pronounced 'Prick') Bertie Ahern, has been labeled a "corrupt, ugly b*stard" by not just one but all 50,000 of the country's gypsie...
Read full storyCarp Fishing Record was Rigged
Sussex - The 102 pound mirror carp that was 'caught' by 82 year old William Fuller has been discovered to be a catch not worthy of the world record.
Read full storyBranson in Bank of England bid
Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Group has launched an audacious bid to buy the Bank of England.
Read full storyViagra Workers In Health Scare
Erith Kent - Production workers at a viagra factory in Kent have called in the Health and Safety Executive after noticing side effects of handling the drug. The factory at Biggar Muchley, near Maidstone, has ceased production.
Read full story'Golden Showers' Scrub Sin City-ians
LAS VEGAS, NV -- Being pissed off is not an option, but creative vengeance is.
Read full storyZsa-Zsa Gabor's husband to publish Anna Nicole faghagiography
Los Angeles - (Farcial Mess): Prince Frederik Von Assfelt, husband of actress Zsa-Zsa Gabor and sometime paternity claimant of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn, is to publish a faghagiographical memoir of their tryst, it was announced...
Read full storyIraqi Insurgents Shoot Down Satellite With Woman
In a move to one up the US Navy, Iraqi insurgents strapped explosives to a woman and catapulted her into space, intercepting a falling bus-sized satellite that was threatening to endanger unsuspecting earthlings. Upon impact, the satellite exploded...
Read full storyWhite-outs cause confusion, dizziness
Denver guard Allen Iverson pleaded with Nuggets' fans to wear white to every home game from now on in hopes that their clothing will distract visiting teams enough so that he won't have to play defense.
Read full storySatirist's Sovereign Wealth Funds Diversifying
London - (Offshore Hydrocarbons Mess): The reclusive satire writer recently reported as having regained membership of the highest profile US piggy bank club aka the Dow Jones Industrial Index has told NYC financial paper Off the Wall Street Journ...
Read full storyGazza Arrested And Given Freedom Of Newcastle
Paul Gascoigne, the famous drinker, has been arrested by police and given the dubious honour of the Freedom of the City, Pubs, Clubs and Bars of Newcastle upon Tyne.
Read full storyWorlds richest man dies
The worlds richest man, Sheikh Ur-Handhii, has died, following a skiing accident in Canada. The 109 year old Sheikh, or 'Head man of a thousand deserts' as his friends liked to call him, was on a ski lift on Whistler Mountain when his robes g...
Read full storyItems scavenged from NATO rubbish sold to Vatican
Vatican City - (Farcial Mess): A 1996 NATO military intelligence disinformation campaign that ended up being flogged by Opus Dei to the Vatican as bona fide post-cold war state secrets has been been systematically scavenged by gullible riff-raff like...
Read full storyNew restaurant idea a hit so far
Restaurant entrepreneur, Alexander Tipless, has opened the first "Your home cooked" restaurant in Tunbridge Wells, Kent. This innovative idea allows customers to take their own food and drink to the eatery and rent the table.
Read full storyObama Admits He's Really Irish
American Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has revealed that he has played the race card for years in order to promote his political career.
Read full story'Granita Pact' secrets revealed as Northern Crock's prime loans sold to Blair's private pension blind trust
City of London - (Bad Ass Mess): The grim secrets of the 1994 Blair/Brown power deal - the so-called Granita Pact - were thrown into disarray today with the announcement that a portfolio of prime home loans on the Northern Crock Bank's books have...
Read full storyUS Navy see red
Geneve - Claims by a Pentagon official that a US Navy missile had successfully hit and destroyed a rogue satellite are completely untrue. The missile, infact, actually hit and destroyed the Rouge satellite. This has resulted in the w...
Read full storyTories should be more like vampires, says Willetts
With a keynote speech to the London School of Economics, shadow secretary for innovation, David Willetts - a man charged by the party with the unenviable task of its intellectual renewal - has finally found his big idea: the Conservative party should...
Read full storyOpus Dei paid £100 million from MEPs' fraudulent staff expenses: report
Bruseels, Belgium - (Bad Ass Mess): A covert police fraud probe into Members of the EU Parliament's employment of fictitious staff and relatives has uncovered a £100 million expenses scam that has lined the coffers of Opus Dei.
Read full storyMcCain denies affair with lobbyist Abramoff
Washington AC/DC - (Bad Ass Mess): GOP presidential topdog John McCain has said he is being smeared with accusations that he screwed over jailed corrupt AC/DC lobbyist Jack Abramoff.
Read full story'Scare quotes' 'no longer scary'
'Scare quotes' are no longer frightening 'enough people', according to 'experts'. The 'shock findings' by Tokyo's 'prestigious' Institute for Fear Research (IFR) is sure to spark 'moral panic' espec...
Read full storyMika's electrode shocker!
After pop ponce Mika's celebrated opening performance at the Brits last night, the gangly mop topped prince of the falsetto revealed to the world the secret of his success.
Read full storyJohn McCain Denies Banging "Lobbyist Friend"
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Presidential candidate Senator John McCain has denied being sexually involved with his intimate female "lobbyist friend" despite reports in The New York Times and Washington Post about their longtime relationship.
Read full storyU.S. State Department in Soccer Shocker
Fresh from the news that the British Government was going to take over the running of Newcastle United, the Premier League was left reeling after the U.S. State Department announced late last night that it was going to take control of all Premiership...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Has Laser Treatment
Cristiano Ronaldo, the gay Manchester United striker, has announced that he has had extensive laser treatment in France, but has not specified which part of his body it was on.
Read full story