George Michael Quits The Beatles After Only One Day

Funny story written by bartlebysnopes

Thursday, 21 February 2008


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image for George Michael Quits The Beatles After Only One Day
Ringo chills out in an Octopus' garden, in the shade.

It appears that those of us waiting for The Beatles reunion tour will have to wait a little longer.

Yesterday it was announced that The Beatles were reuniting with John Legend and George Michael rounding out the Fab Four.

But after only one day officially together, The Beatles have already broken up.

George Michael's manager told reporters that he was "dissatisfied with the direction the band was heading."

Michael elaborated saying, "I thought we could bring more sex into our shows, but Paul and Ringo didn't want that."

When asked what exactly he meant, Michael told reporters that he envisioned the band performing shirtless in tight leather pants. He also said that dangling earrings and facial hair were necessities.

"I didn't mind the facial hair idea," Ringo told reporters, "but I am not going to parade around shirtless and in leather pants. That is not our style."

Michael also explained that he was unhappy with the types of songs the other band members wanted to perform and record. "We drafted up a couple of sample setlists for our tours, and none of the other guys wanted to include some songs that would really add a lot of punch to a Beatles' show."

According to Ringo, "George was just unreasonable to work with. He wanted to replace 'Hey Jude' with 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' and 'Here Comes the Sun' with 'Faith'. Can you imagine The Beatles playing such rubbish. We need to rely on our great works, like 'Octopus' Garden'. None of this 80s pop bullshit. What a stupid bugger."

There is no word yet on whether or not The Beatles will look for another George. Paul McCartney and John Legend were unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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