"Wolfman" Wolfowitz Sneaks Back in Through the Bushes
A new international organization, "Worldwide Wolfowitz Watchers", organized through the World Wide Web, has been monitoring the activities of the notorious Neocon, Paul Wolfowitz, who on January 25th, re-emerged as George Bush's choice...Read full story
Spontaneous Combustion Epidemic Continues
A young man, Mohammed Al-Mohammed Ahmed, 24 from Baghdad, spontaneously combusted in a market this weekend, killing 23 bystanders.Read full story
Hillary Clinton about Barack Obama: "I Did Have Sexual Relations With That Man"
Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is once again making big headlines. And this time she is trying to bring Barack Obama down with her.Read full story
Nixon rises from the dead to challenge McCain: "Even I could beat Obama!"
Washington--Former U.S. President Richard Milhous Nixon rose from the dead today to announce his surprising upset bid to challenge Senator John McCain for the slot of Republican Party 2008 presidential candidate.Read full story
Ron Paul Vows Victory; Developing Time Machine
FORT MIRTH, Tex. - Presidential hopeful Ron Paul vows to win the republican nomination, even as he trails front-runner John McCain, who has a 60:1 delegate lead. Political analysts are calling it a "mathematical impossibility," but Paul is...Read full story
Osama Bin Laden Resurfaces
It has been discovered in Ray Mears' fake diary entries that he has actually met Osama Bin Laden.Read full story
eBay to be sold on eBay
eGypt - The worlds most famous auction website is up for grabs on eBay with a starting price of just 0.99 p (gbp).Read full story
New 'Final Four' Enter U.S. Presidential Race
Las Vegas, Nevada -- Faced with many upcoming March 4 presidential primaries and the stomach-churning prospect of seeing the same ol' refried 'Three Musketeers' on the menu -- a newbie intern, a petulant philanderer, and a pimped-out ho -...Read full story
Quentin Tarantino To Begin Filming On 70's Era Crime Feature This Week
NEW YORK-Filming for the new Quentin Tarantino film "Miles Flatt" will begin shooting in the Queens borough of New York City beginning Tuesday, sources say.Read full story
FBI files reveal: Obama Abbie Hoffman's 'love-child'
Secret 60's-era COINTELPRO files and wiretap records reveal proof that presidential hopeful Barack Hussein Obama is not son of his mother's Kenyan-born husband as previously reported but actually 'love-child' of her tryst with infamou...Read full story
Hellfire Club warned UK Mother's Day is Hitler's Pope anniversary
London - (Diabolical Mess): The UK's satanic Hellfire Club has been warned that next Sunday's Mother's Day falls on the soixante-neuf anniversary of the accession into papal orifice of Eugenio Pacelli, nee Geli, univers...Read full story
Biscuit Boycott at Number 10
This afternoon news has surfaced that Gordon Brown is looking into having biscuits banned! Apparently he dislikes their crumbly nature and how fast they break in his midmorning cup of tea.Read full story
Coroner to order Burrell DNA test amid Prince Harry paternity fears
London - (Royal Ass Mess): Royal coroner Lord Justice Scott Baker is to make fetid former Princess Diana butler Paul Burrell undergo a paternity test following requests from police officers in charge of the UK's official DNA data base.Read full story
Darth Vader runs for president
Just hours after Ralph Nader has announced he is to run for president, Darth Vader has also thrown his helmet into the presidential ring.Read full story
Snooker is 'Kinda Gay'
'Touching the pink', 'chalking the cue' and 'breaking the balls' are not cheeky aphorisms but legitimate terms in the world of professional snooker.Read full story
When Harry met Ginny
Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is currently taking time off set as he is suffering with a black eye.Read full story
Pellicano case: nominations announced for Hollywood's top predator gongs
Los Angeles - (Worst Ass Mess): Expect a sex, drugs and blackmail earthquake to hit Tinseltown after tonight's Oscars red carpet is rolled out for the last time says a leading article in Hollywood's premier celeb newspaper LaFagHagSlagMag...Read full story
English and the Art of Wildebeest Hunting
I was recently delighted to be invited to the annual English Language Society Award Ceremony to accept their prestigious Prize for Promotion of the English Language.Read full story
New York Times' attempt to slime McCain backfires and helps him
The New York Times, a commie fishwrapper which should be called the New York Slimes, and whose motto should be "All the news that's shit, we'll print", recently slandered that great American John McCain, in the opinion of this repor...Read full story
Biofuel flight linked to "Chippy" purchase.
The first flight by a commercial airline to be powered partly by bio-fuel is being linked to the purchase of Scotland's top chip shop.Read full story
New Evidence Jesus Christ was Waterboarded!
Christians across the world during this holy season of Lent were shocked to learn that waterboarding was among the tortures used on their Lord and savior.Read full story
One Million English Words Soon!
Global Language Monitor has been counting words like there's no tomorrow. Paul Payack's website and internet dictionary predicts that soon the English language will give birth to its 1,000,000th word.Read full story
Many Blacks Fear Obama's Assassination; Clinton Shows 1st Interest in VP
Blacks across America are expressing fears that Barack Obama, possibly the first African American President, will be kept from the White House by an assassin's bullet. Some black voters claim that their premonition is so great that they will not...Read full story
Blair and Bush to Retire to Diego Rivera
Tiny Indian Ocean atoll, Diego Rivera, recently in the news as an UK refueling station for cia planes carrying terror suspects, is once again in the headlines. Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and soon to be former and still worst President G...Read full story
Hows and Whys
Smith, bombarded with testosterone and self-assertion, was just 16. He was unjustifiably allowed to carry a muzzle loaded shotgun. One day he and two of his schoolmates went on a picnic, he carrying his shotgun and a schoolmate, an old Mauser rifle with only one hand-filled cartridge.Read full story
Public Purse Funds Public Conveniences
Central Government announced new plans to ease the shortage of public loos in Britain.Read full story
'Overheard In Confessional dot com' Imminent
Houston, Texas (Buddy Jesus Quarterly) - Based on the meteoric popularity of several current websites featuring eavesdropped actual conversations, televangelist Joel Osteen is launching a similar website of his own: overheardinconfessional.comRead full story
Death Of Girlfriend's Cat Thrills Local Man
When Diane Barber's nine-year-old cat Jesse passed away from a kidney infection last week, her boyfriend Tim Chambers supported her in her grief but in secret couldn't be happier the miserable thing is finally dead.Read full story
Bush Awarded Ironic Quote of the Year!
The Associated Press reported that in a February 21st speech in Monrovia,Liberia, US worst President ever. Bush was quoted as saying: "It is easier to tear a country down than it is to rebuild a country".Read full story
Yorkshire Ripper slams 'amateurish' serial killers jailed this week
HMP Broadmoor - (Psychotic Mess): The Yorkshire Ripper has told jail mates that this week's convicted UK serial killers are amateurish novices by comparison to the benchmark standards he laid down as the country's most evil slayer.Read full story