Written by Jesus Budda

Thursday, 21 February 2008

image for Irish PM is a "corrupt, ugly b*stard" - Claims Gypsy
"Ugly, Corrupt Bastard" - apparently

The Prime Minister of Ireland (or Taoiseach - pronounced 'Prick') Bertie Ahern, has been labeled a "corrupt, ugly b*stard" by not just one but all 50,000 of the country's gypsies.

Ahern, who is embroiled in a long running investigation into his dodgy finances, has told his nations population to ignore the claims.

"Shur, dem's only gypo's, so dey are. Don't ya be mindin' a word out of dem feckers", said Ahern in a parliamentary debate televised semi-live into the countries 12-televison sets.

Gypsy spokesman Micky Begorrah had this to say: "Bertie Ahern is a corrupt, ugly b*stard. He was down at our caravan the other nite threatening to move us on if we didn't feck off. He want's our land to build a feckin' golf course for his friends Tony Blair and Bill Clinton. The dick-nosed, red-faced b*stard".

Ahern strenuously denies the claim despite CCTV video footage, photographic evidence from a journalist and sightings recorded on camera cell-fones by 180 German tourists.

Ireland is the only country to vote on a new European constitution - something their government claims 'proves' that they are not corrupt. France - blatantly smug as usual - passed the constitution last month and didn't give their citizens the chance to have their say despite the fact that they rejected a previous version a few years back.

By agreeing to the changes proposed by the major European 'superpowers', every Irish citizen will be required to ignore any bad publicity or corruption charges leveled at 'elected' officials. Ahern favors a 'Yes' vote.

"It'd be gud for me, so it wud", said Ahern as he stuffed his pockets with money from a church charity donation box.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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