Jenny Takes Back Valerie. Kirstie Goes Off the Deep End.

Funny story: Jenny Takes Back Valerie. Kirstie Goes Off the Deep End.

In a shocking maneuver on Jenny Craig's part, they have taken Valerie Bertinelli back. "There are some repercussions to this event, and Ms. Bertinelli is fully intending to comply," says Ms. Bertinelli's lawyers today. Valerie is ex...

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Tearful Elimination on American Idol

Funny story: Tearful Elimination on American Idol

Hollywood, California (IPP) - There was another tearful elimination on American Idol last night.

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State of Georgia Claims Niagara Falls is Theirs

Funny story: State of Georgia Claims Niagara Falls is Theirs

Atlanta, Georgia (IPP) - The Georgia Attorney General's office has filed a claim in Federal Court claiming that Niagara Falls actually belongs within the State of Georgia.

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More People In American Prisons than Out

Funny story: More People In American Prisons than Out

Washington, D.C. (IPP) - The PEW Center on the States reports that more people are now in American prisons than out of prison.

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Dr. Harry Boogart is a Fraud!

Funny story: Dr. Harry Boogart is a Fraud!

According to Dr. Slique R. N. Snaught, a long time rival and colleague of Dr. Boogart, Dr. Boogart is a fraud. It seems that Dr.Boogart is a "idiotic, glory seeking, stupid as a box of rocks, never going to be anything, nitwit," according t...

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Artic Svalbard Global Seed Vault Caretaker Found Dead

Funny story: Artic Svalbard Global Seed Vault Caretaker Found Dead

Longyearbyen, Norway (IPP) - Tragedy struck the Norwegian Island of Spitsbergen today as the body of the caretaker in charge of the Global Seed Vault (GSV) was found in the green house area of the seed storage compound located in the Svalbard Archip...

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NASA Finds Restaurant on South Pole of Moon

Funny story: NASA Finds Restaurant on South Pole of Moon

Pasadena, California (IPP) - NASA has discovered a restaurant and resort on the south pole of the Moon.

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Curtains For Clinton

Funny story: Curtains For Clinton

The promised three faces of Hillary failed to dent Barack Obama's lead after the last debate, and it may be curtains for Clinton's move to rent free residency at the White House. Saying, "Republicans can throw anything they want at me.

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Local Marathon Runner Dies during Lap of Honor

Funny story: Local Marathon Runner Dies during Lap of Honor

Local woman, Tania Fudglowski, has collapsed and died following a celebratory lap of honor after completing a 26-mile marathon in her local town.

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Queen Tells Charles: "Put Swearing Harry In A Children's Home!"

Funny story: Queen Tells Charles: "Put Swearing Harry In A Children's Home!"

Her Majesty the Queen has reacted angrily to a TV report about the deployment of her grandson Harry in Afghanistan, in which the lad can be heard using foul and abusive gutter English. She has called...

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Everton Women Stun Gunners In Cup

Funny story: Everton Women Stun Gunners In Cup

There was delight on Merseyside last night when Everton produced a stunning performance to overcome Arsenal in the Women's Premier League Cup, ending the Gunners' 58-game unbeaten streak in t...

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Mrs Jevons at Number 36 has a great pair of tits says local MP

Plymouth - (Tits-a-plenty-Mess): A Plymouth woman has been praised on her exemplary tits by local MP Linda Gilroy. "I wish I had a pair like that" said the labour politician with a majority of over 4000.

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Sheffield United And Middlesbrough To Be Prosecuted Under The 'Cruelty To Football Act'

Funny story: Sheffield United And Middlesbrough To Be Prosecuted Under The 'Cruelty To Football Act'

Championship side Sheffield United and their Premier League counterparts Middlesbrough are to be the first two teams to be prosecuted by the Football Association under the controversial 2008 Cruelty To Footba...

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Axl Rose denies bluegrass claims

Los Angeles,Ca. (Rooters) Singer W. Axl Rose denies claims that the long awaited Guns N' Roses album will be bluegrass.

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Paris Hilton Fesses Up To Sin City Ricin Scare

Funny story: Paris Hilton Fesses Up To Sin City Ricin Scare

Las Vegas Metro Police were diverted from their nightly undercover Dunkin' Donuts surveillance operations very late on Thursday evening and dispatched to the Bum's Rush Motel in Las Vegas, Nevada to retrieve a plastic package containing a whi...

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Sarkozy wall of silence as top model found in Seine

Funny story: Sarkozy wall of silence as top model found in Seine

Paris - (Sacre Bleu Mess): French President Nicholas Sarkozy was keeping schtum today as the news broke that the body of top Parisian model Katoucha Niane was fished out of the River Seine, near the Pont d'Alma bridge of Princess Diana&#...

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High Court delays introduction of new breast milk bar code maternity brassieres

London - (Lactating Mess): Maternity bra manufacturers have won a critical High Court ruling to delay the introduction of compulsory breast milk grading bar codes on all neonatal mammary support garments.

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It Has Been Proven - Not Everyone Can Pick Their Friend's Nose

Funny story: It Has Been Proven - Not Everyone Can Pick Their Friend's Nose

Recent scientific studies have shown, that it is impossible for some people to pick a friend's nose. It appears that the size of ones nostrils is in proportion with ones fingers. Scientists have spent many years studying this mystifying event.

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Bananas - Fruit or Foe?

Have you ever picked up a banana and considered the possibility that it might be evil? not unless you are below ten!...

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Heidi Klum On Crash Twinkie Diet

Funny story: Heidi Klum On Crash Twinkie Diet

Las Vegas -- Heidi Klum today has traded her normal diet of greens for yellow, cream-filled Twinkies.

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JK Rowling and the Intoxication of Hubris

Funny story: JK Rowling and the Intoxication of Hubris

New York - (Reuterus): Perrenial fantasy story rip-off artiste JK Rowling has filed a law suit alleging a forthcoming encylopaedia 'Ten Thousand Whopping Great Big Fibs About Harry Potter' contravenes her global status as the world&...

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'Dr. Death' Reincarnated in Sin City

Funny story: 'Dr. Death' Reincarnated in Sin City

Las Vegas, Nevada -- Jack "Dr. Death" Kervorkian has done his bad deeds and paid his debt to society. But for some Las Vegas, Nevada doctors and health care providers it's just business as usual- 'playing' with death is a long-...

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Rambo Rescues Prince Harry

Funny story: Rambo Rescues Prince Harry

Vietnam veteran John Rambo was the toast of the British public today when he flew into Afghanistan to single-handedly rescue would-be soldier, and son of the late, great Princess Diana of Wales, Prince Harry.

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Peter Egan attacked by Ostrich

Funny story: Peter Egan attacked by Ostrich

One of the United Kingdom's finest character actors was shocked yesterday after having been viciously savaged by a large ostrich and left with a singed ear.

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Prince Harry withdrawn from Agincourt, reassigned to Battle of Hastings

Funny story: Prince Harry withdrawn from Agincourt, reassigned to Battle of Hastings

Harry, the 23-year-old royal claimant to the disputed Throne of England, is being withdrawn from the dust-up at Agincourt and redeployed to the frontlines at Hastings amid public concerns for his safety.

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Women are Stupid

Funny story: Women are Stupid

A renagade scientist claimed that all women are less intelligent than retarded dogs. When quizzed about the remarks he seemed shocked that a woman reporter even looked him in the eye, slapped her and told her to "go home, bitch".

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Rodham Hussein enters presidential race

Funny story: Rodham Hussein enters presidential race

Only a week after Ralph Nader entered the presidential race (for who knows what reason), another candidate, Rodham Hussein, has announced intentions to run for President.

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HYPCRITES: Your Conservative Christian Watch Dog

Funny story: HYPCRITES: Your Conservative Christian Watch Dog

HYPCRITES (Helping Your Prayers to Christ Receive Infinite Treasures Extended by our Saviour): Your conservative Christian Watch Dog has been havin his eyes and snout on the goins' on in Del-a-ware.

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Better One Village Die for a Runway

Funny story: Better One Village Die for a Runway

High Priest Caiaphus Smithsonson, Mayor of Sipson, England has decided to sell the village to the neighboring Heathrow Airport to allow for a new giant runway. Mayor C. Smithsonson explained that it was better for one village to give its life for an...

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Afg-Harry-stan, Prince of Princes

Funny story: Afg-Harry-stan, Prince of Princes

Britain's news sources normally so rapacious they would run a Princess into a wall have managed to button their lips over the adventures of Afghan War- rior ,Prince Harry of the Royal Air Controllers Brigade.

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New York Philharmonic brokers Korean peace accord

Funny story: New York Philharmonic brokers Korean peace accord

SEOUL, South Korea -- The New York Philharmonic brokered a musical end to the Korean War on Thursday, reprising its emotional performance of the Korean folk tune "Arirang" in the South Korean capital after its unprecedented concert in Pyong...

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One Point Six Million Americans Can't Be Wrong!

Funny story: One Point Six Million Americans Can't Be Wrong!

The US prison population has hit a shocking 1.6 million inmates! That is 1 out of every 100 US citizens now live behind bars,never mind what happens to their behinds there behind bars. Sociologists have been studying the phenomenon for years now and...

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Barbershop

I went for a haircut yesterday and walked into the Mohel's shop by accident. It wasn't my fault, those two bastards have the same type sign out front, a pole with dressing on it. A pole's a pole, right? So I went in and sat down and before I knew it, the barber (actually the Mohel) was taking down my pants and reaching for them. I thought, well maybe this is a gay barber shop and this...

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Report: Cops filmed before a live studio audience

Funny story: Report: Cops filmed before a live studio audience

The hit television show Cops, considered by many as the first reality TV show in the U.S., has finally revealed that it is filmed in front of a live studio audience. The show gives the appearance of reality as cameras follow police officers in variou...

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