It has emerged during the inquest into the death of Her Ladyship Princess Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed that Diana, Passionate Princess of the People, was about to dump millionaire, Dodi, over fears about his father's impending insanity.
According to a leaked letter from Diana "Slayer of Landmines" to Prince Philip, Mohammed Al-Fayed, dubbed "the mental muslim" in Royal Circles and Market Squares, was already showing signs of a fantasist and paranoid world, in which he believed he would be welcomed into the arms of the British Royal family and given a passport.
"Dearest Pappi", writes Diana, Golden Baker to the Tarts of Our Hearts, not famed for her great education, "I hop you licked the whoreses I sended you last wick, espeshally the Philly. I am increasedingly worryed abot Doddys dad becos hes a mentalist and he like totally creeps me owt. I no hes got a big bot (a yot) and hes a squillionaire (I can spell that!) but Doddy jus gets on my nervs thees days."
Sobbing Butler Paul Burrell showed the stained letter in court today after initially secreting it away to make money from later on.
"Diana was my wife," he blarted, "I mean life."
