Michael Jackson's Clone escapes
Words of warning are being given to residents of Boston Massachusetts after the Michael Jackson Clone has escaped the research lab were scientists created the monster over the past year.
Read full storyJolly Jolie Sex Scene
James McAvoy has confessed he found filming sex scenes with Angelina Jolie difficult.
Read full storyRevealed: Gordon Brown is a Cylon on Prozac
We are all enjoying the final series of the new version of Battlestar Galactica on Sky One. But one question that we might have to wait until the final episode to find the answer to is the question about who the final human, looking like, Cylon model...
Read full storyDalai Lama vows war on China
In a dramatic shift from his usual policy of non-violence, Tibet's spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, announced today that Tibet will take up arms against China and did not rule out the possibility of nuclear war.
Read full storyCarmen Elekra Sells Her Ass On The Streets To Make A Quick Buck
Busty beauty Carmen Elektra has taken to the streets of Hollywood in an effort to raise some hard cash for her donkey sanctuary. The former Baywatch babe hopes to raise $500,000 for her 'Asses Of Fire' charity which takes car...
Read full storyPadre Pio It Ain't!
Vatican scientists have declared today that DNA testing has proved the exhumed remains that are currently lying in state in a church in San Giovanni Rotondo are not those of Saint Padre Pio.
Read full storyEmma Watson denies claims she pole dances when not filming
It was reported on a top secret website just yesterday that Emma Watson's favourite hobby other than acting is pole dancing. As Juless a spoof writer spotted her leaving a club on pole dancing night in a very revealing outfit.
Read full storyAlex Jones Warns the Public "To Serve Man...It's a COOKBOOK!"
AUSTIN, TX - An Austin court has ordered nationally syndicated talk show host Alex Jones to stay at least 100 yards from the "Book Resort" at the Highland Mall in Austin, Texas. The action follows his arrest Thursday on ch...
Read full storyRiots Grip Canada as Stanley Cup Playoffs Canceled
BY GORD, THE CANADIAN PRESS - Our normally peaceful country erupted like a shaken Molson yesterday when it was announced that the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs had been canceled indefinitely.
Read full storyUK charity fights for prison reforms
London (Neuters) - Susan Meredith Thomson-Ellis From the Charity for Relaxation of Abuse to Convicts and Erroneous Rehabilitation Services or C.R.A.C.K.E.R.S has handed in a petition and made a heart felt appeal to Gordon Brown at 10 Downing Street t...
Read full storyHull Sausage Rolls Lack Consistency, Claims Girl, 4
A 4-year-old Hull girl, who was arrested when she dropped a piece of sausage roll whilst shopping with her mother, has claimed that bakers in the city are using substandard sausagemeat in their rolls...
Read full storyMan makes holy house of cress
It sounds the mutterings of madmen, but in Chiswell, Devon, Charles Ainsworth, 45 has finally completed two years of painstaking work, and completed his house made entirely from CRESS!...
Read full storyJohn Adams & Uranus
Prologue: John Adams, apart from his brilliant political attributes, was a man of intense intellectual curiosity. So it comes as no surprise that, in 1785, when he became America's first minister to the Court of St. James, one of his initial visits was to the astronomer, Sir William Herschel, who newly discovered the planet, Uranus. Unfortunately, John went to the wrong address.
Read full storyBlair tampered with McCann probe?
London - (Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair ordered a protective halo around the McCanns last year before sending them off to see his new boss Pope Joe Ratzinger, London spooks said today.
Read full storyMegan Fox the Hottest? Obama Says Its Hillary
Actress Megan Fox was recently named the hottest woman in the world, but Barack Obama doesn't think so. Obama says Hillary Clinton is really the hottest woman around: "She's got a great all-around package."...
Read full storyAnother Beckham Sprog may NOT be on the way
Following hot on the heels of their three existing children - Stannah Stairlift, Ahhthats Bisto and Purple Haze - David and Victoria Beckham have indicated that another heir to the fortune may be on the way.
Read full storyFree skunk for school leavers says mayoral hopeful Boris
London - (Rizla Mess): All school leavers gaining five good GCSEs and two A Levels will be allowed to grow a bit of their own in a young persons business initiative announced by Boris Johnson.
Read full storyBush: Deal or No Deal
President George Bush Has Appeared on TV quiz show Deal or No Deal.
Read full storyAA Objects to AA Calling Itself AA and Takes AA to Court
In a dramatic case likely to go to the European Court of Justice, the Acronym Alliance is taking the Automobile Association to court for tying up with Alcoholics Anonymous and accusing Arseholes Accredited of stealing their acronym.
Read full storyWesley Snipes To Start Shooting New Jail Movie
Hollywood movie star Wesley Snipes is to begin filming today on what is probably one of his most captivating roles to date.
Read full storyThierry Henry In Possible Return To English Football
Thierry Henry, the Barcelona star, has indicated in an interview with the BBC that he is ready for a return to English football, but would only be prepared to sign for either Arsenal or Manchester United
Read full storyFat Chick Acts Loud and Obnoxious to Prove She's Not Self Conscious
Aimes, IA Susan Kessler set out to prove Saturday night, that she's wasn't going to let the fact that she is classified as morbidly obese stop her from having a good time.
Read full storyYoko Ono Declares: Ain't Easy Being Beatle
Pretend Lady and imaginary Beatle, Yoko Ono has recently given interviews in which she discusses the travails of inheriting billions after destroying the money machine called the Beatles. She and her talent less children are also involved in a fight...
Read full storyTwenty20 and Sir Allen: Cricket Will Conquer the World!
Billionaire Sir Allen Stamford may have been born in Texas but English cricket now obsesses him more than Friday night football or barbecued brisket.
Read full storyWorlds oldest dog dies at 32
Mr. Woggle, a 32 year old Collie has passed away Thursday of what veterinarians say, common old age.
Read full storyPenn's Quakers Defeat Obama's Purocrats
Barack Obama's surging movement of Purocrats, democrats who are so scandalized by the Clintons' many grievous faults that they are backing a semi-righteous nobody, met a serious defeat at the hands of Penn's Quakers.
Read full storyIl Duce Raimundo Odierno Rises to Power In Iraq!
With the promotion of General Petraeus to the Ruler of Middle Earth, Emperor W appointed General Raimundo "Il Duce" Odierno to military dictator over the democracy in Iraq. Odierno and Petraeus will be pro-consuls to Middle earth.
Read full storyMilitary Draft reinstated, resembles NFL draft
WASHINGTON, DC - Today in Washington the Bush Administration made an announcement that could forever change the face of U.S. Military.
Read full storyPetraeus Elevated to Vicar of Bush on Middle Earth!
Emperor of the world, George W Bush has made no secret of the apple of his eye, General "Thou art Petraeus and upon this rock I will build my wars".
Read full storyMexican Maquiladoras Rival Chinese Sweatshops
The Mexican borderline sweatshop known as the maquiladora began to fade away under intense competition from the economic machine called the Chinese slave labor. However due to recent slight difficulties in Chinese products like deadly poisons and the...
Read full story'Big Boned' woman proven to be Big Fat Liar
Shaniqua Adams a 30-year old grandmother of four was today exposed as a fraud by doctors at New Orleans General Hospital today.
Read full storyCharlie Bucket struggles to hit Q1 targets at Wonka Chocolate
Charlie Bucket, the recently installed CEO of Wonka Chocolate has today been criticised for his handling of the company which has led to Q1 profit warnings being issued.
Read full story8.8.08 bombers prepare for shot at fame
Terrorists and ne'er do wells around the world are gearing up for their moment in the spotlight this coming August.
Read full storyArby's Buys Wendy's
Arby's, a division of Triarc, purchased the Wendy's fast food chain for over $2.3 billion. This was their third attempt to buy the hamburger company founded by the late Dave Thomas and named for his daughter.
Read full storyGirlfriend Actually Believes No One Will See Sex Tape
Norfolk, VA Jennfer Wenk, 19, and Brad Sutter, 27, recently video taped themselves having sex with each other under the mutual agreement that it would stay private.
Read full storyPriest falls from sky, "Whoops" says God
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli decided that there was no better way to get closer to God than to tie himself to hundreds of balloons and fly up to the Lord himself.
Read full storyVirgin Man Marries Virgin Woman
(San Fransisco CA) The world was recently shocked when a young man and woman declared they were both still virgins and wanted to marry each other. Gary Hue and Judy Shinn, both 24, married each other yesterday in an actual Roman Catholic church. Both...
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