Military Draft reinstated, resembles NFL draft

Funny story written by Shocker0

Friday, 25 April 2008

WASHINGTON, DC - Today in Washington the Bush Administration made an announcement that could forever change the face of U.S. Military.

In a live press conference, Bush said that the Military Draft has been reinstated beginning immediately. However, Bush made it clear that this draft is not the same type that made your Grandpa a war hero, but one that resembles a draft that many americans enjoy to watch, the NFL Draft.

President Bush stated that instead of receiving a letter in the mail saying one must join the armed forces, now potential military draft picks will be able to see where they stack up with the best of the best live on ESPN. He said the Marines will get the first pick of the 2008 draft, with the Army taking the second, followed by the Air Force, Navy, and National Guard. President Bush feels like this new style of Military draft will make people interested in serving their country, and feel elite for being picked to do such a noble thing for his/her homeland.

Marcus Holder, of Dallas, Texas, is expected to be the top pick in the draft, as the scouts have noted his career as a linebacker in high school as an all state football player, combined with his dead on accuracy while on his schools rifle team.

When Holder learned that he was expected to be the top pick he broke down in tears saying, "This is a great day for my family and me, I am just speechless. I did not think I would be such a high pick in the draft. It feels great and shows that if you work hard in life you dreams can be achieved."

Holder said that he was never interested in joining the Armed Forces, but with the new draft idea, he can't help but boast and be happy to serve his country. If he indeed is the first pick in the draft, his enlistment bonus could be over $100,000.

The first draft will take place April 29th, giving it the sports feeling since the NFL draft is around the same time. Some NFL teams may trade their drafts to pick up first or second round picks from the Military Draft as the two well known organizations have announced a partnership in recruiting draft picks. Regardless of what happens, this is an exciting time in America that could even overshadow the 2008 presidential race. Even presidential candidate John McCain is expected to be on the free agent list if he does not become president, which may promp Military officials to make the maximum draft age to be under 120 years old.

The draft is already being applauded as one of the Presidents greatest accomplishment in 8 years, next to discovering WMD's in Iraq. Stay tuned for more updates on this story and see who makes the "team" of your favorite Military Branch.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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