Billionaire Sir Allen Stamford may have been born in Texas but English cricket now obsesses him more than Friday night football or barbecued brisket.
Sir Allen is forming a visionary organization called Twenty20 to alert the world that cricket will soon dominate the globe: "More dangerous than global warming, Bush-Blair and Red Ken combined, the impending cricket surge will destroy football as we know it!"
Sir Allen predicts that swarms of crickets (Gryllus assimilis Britannicus) will consume every blade of grass from every football field in the UK and the world: "They will take over the world and the only sport left will be watching the little buggers gobble grass and take each other up the bum!"
Sir Stamford in anticipation for the worldwide cricket cataclysm has purchased billions and billions of the little critters and will release them through his Twenty20 entomological army.
