Written by only_bomb

Friday, 25 April 2008

image for UK charity fights for prison reforms
"Rooms in prisons are like 3 star hotel rooms this is not good enough" states the PCF report

London (Neuters) - Susan Meredith Thomson-Ellis From the Charity for Relaxation of Abuse to Convicts and Erroneous Rehabilitation Services or C.R.A.C.K.E.R.S has handed in a petition and made a heart felt appeal to Gordon Brown at 10 Downing Street today on behalf of prisoners rights.

"We have to stop the current abuse of prisoners in our jails. I visited a prison last week and the gym facilities lacked a swimming pool, the snooker table was undersized, you had to 'serve yourself' in the dining hall and the bedding was not soft enough," said Susan. "If nothing is done we are going to take this to the European court of human rights".

This comes on the back of the report into prison over crowding by the Politically correct foundation (PCF). They said in there report to the justice department that room sizes we far to small they barely fit a bed, DVD player, Sky box and Hi-Fi system in, let alone a CD rack or Xbox.

Their spokesman, Toff McDoogooder, said in a telephone interview: "This situation is disgraceful we need to get these people to have an adequate sized room immediately so they can fit more of life's essential items in them such as a foot spar and a trouser press."

The chief of prisons declined to be interviewed when faced with such charges of ill treatment of inmates. But gave the following written statement: "We understand the pressures of prison life are hard at the moment with drugs in prisons at there lowest amount of choice for 5 years with only heroin, crack and LSD readily available, it is a sorry state and it must be addressed before the comfort of accommodation can be increased to the level being campaigned for.

Gordon Brown said he would respond later today as soon as the "10p tax screw up" issue was resolved.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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