"Negligent" parents leave their pizza unattended
Police in a small Spanish resort near Madrid have mounted a search of local buildings following the abduction of a British couple's pizza while they were looking after their baby child.
Read full storyNight Mayor Scenario
It appears that the next London Mayoral election will be something of a two-horse race, but a race in which the candidates' major appeal is their eccentricity.
Read full storyKott the tool
Anchorage, Alaska - (Corrupt Ass Mess): Former Alaskan politician Representative Pete Kott was called "a tool for screwing over voters - a tool of the oil industry's graft specialists, the VECO Corporation" by a federal prosecutor at t...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens' breasts holograms selling like hotcakes
California - (Bare Ass Mess): Holographic 3-D pictures of eighteen year old High School Musical actress Vanessa Hudgens are a runaway success on an internet promo site marketing the starlet's budding talents.
Read full storyNew book exposes Minnie Mouse's abortion
(Anaheim, CA) Disney heroine Minnie Mouse was seen leaving a local abortion clinic in tears according to a paparazzo tailing the diva who was granted a rare interview. His recently published book "Mickey Mouse: A Rat in Wizard's Clothing&quo...
Read full storyGod's pocket-money stolen by "thieving bast*rds"
The creator of the Universe and everything that exists was left red-faced today after his pocket money was stolen during a trip to the shops.
Read full storyPatriotic meals a huge success
Fast food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken has introduced its Freedom Fliers Baskets in preparation for the upcoming 2008 Presidential Election.
Read full storyProfessor Steven Hawking releases Sex Help book
Genius and author, Professor Steven Hawking has just released a brilliant new Sex Help book which has shot straight to the number one position in the book charts.
Read full storyNew canine condoms a hit for breeders
Purebred dog owners laud new vaginal condoms designed specifically for their prized pooches. Available in three different sizes, the latex sheathes can accomodate all breeds.
Read full story"Dancing Racists" musical wows Broadway critics and fans
"Dancing Racists'", a depression-era set musical starring Jean Claude Van Damme and Piper Perabo has been drawing in record box office numbers with multiple sell out shows.
Read full storyEntourage actor Adrian Grenier threatens to quit show unless he is given gills
Entourage actor Adrian Grenier has threatened to quit the hit TV show unless producers pay for surgery to implant gills on the actors neck.
Read full storyTwenty percent of Americans trust politicians unequivocally
A recent survey asked Americans how much faith they have in their leaders among other related questions.
Read full storyArse Bandits can no longer be called "shirtlifters"
A spokesman for Cockney comedian Jim Davidson expressed disappointment at the decision of the Politically Correct Forum criticising Davidson for calling a Big Brother winner a shirtlifter and sacking...
Read full storyAnita Roddick Died of Cash Disease
Bodyshop founder Anita Roddick died of an allergy to £20 notes, a post mortem has revealed.
Read full storyGifted Parrot Alex Shoots Himself
BOSTON (FMLiveWire) - Alex, the gifted parrot who could count to six hundred, identify 4000 words and even compose poetry in scientific tests has died of apparent suicide after 30 years of helping researchers better understand the avian and Republica...
Read full storyGetting around the smoking ban
(Seattle, WA) As more states enact smoking bans, some business owners are taking legal steps to preserve their smoking sections. They are handing over their property to Native Americans.
Read full storyHeroin granny cleared of pit bull manslaughter because she was stoned at the time
The acquittal of grandmother Jackie Simpson of the manslaughter of her granddaughter Ellie Lawrenson on New Years Day through criminal neglect in allowing the family's pit bull terrier
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith's ghost haunts Oscar Wyatt Jr's Oil-for-Fraud trial
New York - (Ass Mess): The ghost of Playboy centerfold model Anna Nicole Smith has come back to haunt one of her ex-husband's former business partners, Oscar Wyatt Jr, whose New York trial in the Saddam Hussain Oil-For-Fraud conspiracy has opened...
Read full storyBin Ladin Caught in Las Vegas
Las Vegas, Nevada (IP) - A Western World reporter was invited by Al Qaeda to visit Bin Ladin and conduct an exclusive interview at Bin Laden's chic suburban get-away located at Westerly Hills Country Club estates a mere 15 minute drive from the g...
Read full storyU.S. Congress Goes On Strike
(Washington) - The U.S. Congress today went on strike, refusing to pass any laws necessary to the survival, security and benefit of U.S. citizens.
Read full storyJihadist suicide bombers ask Western police to shoot them in public places to save buying explosives
With Western governments freezing Jihadist bank accounts and Moslem countries paying no interest on savings, strapped-for-cash suicide bombers are having to find new and cheaper methods to kill thems...
Read full storyEU says Britain run by fuddy-duddies
EU Industry Commissioner Guenter Verheugen has said that Britain is being run by a group of fuddy-duddies too old and senile to adopt the metric system.
Read full storyWardrobe Malfunction Has Dire Consequences
Washington (IP) - The Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction which exposed her nipple to millions of horrified viewers has led to draconian measures directed against American women.
Read full storyBin Laden Urges Others to Martyrdom But Not Self
Yawn City, Pakistan (IP) - An interview with Bin Laden reveals he is very anxious for others to become martyrs but has conveniently kept himself off the dead people's list. He is special.
Read full storyBeckham's New Boots
LA Galaxy star David Beckham is developing a revolutionary new range of football boots called 'Left Field' to encourage youngsters use boot feet.
Read full storyLeeds United Are For Sale - Bates
After the worst possible start to their League One campaign, former glamour club Leeds United have been put up for sale by owner Ken Bates.
Read full storySmokers rebellion: Blackpool Council ratchet up the charges on Hamish
Well known smoker's rebel Hamish Hamilton was today charged with a further 500 offenses of allowing smoking to take place in his Blackpool pub.
Read full storyPetraeus: Wig Crisis Deepens
The US Army's wig supply scandal reached crisis point last night when it was revealed General David Petraeus had to borrow a synthetic toupee from an Iraqi hairpiece fabricator.
Read full storyPresident Bush, Cheney, Gonzales, Rice, and Rumsfield; All members of a secret society.
Dateline: August 29th, 2007 Reporting from: None of your business!...
Read full storyNation panics as another millionaire adventurer goes missing
Millionaire adventurer Bob Crabtree was reported missing early Monday morning. This while search & rescue crews are already stretched thin looking for another missing millionaire adventurer, Steve Fossett. The crews are now fiercely debating who to d...
Read full storyScandal erupts on Sesame Street when all main characters are revealed to be puppets.
Sesame Street - Scandal erupted throughout this idyllic urban neighborhood after it was revealed that the majority of Sesame Street's population, everyone from Grover to Telly, to His Majesty The Count, are nothing more than a bunch of crudely co...
Read full storyJohn Madden's Head Has Ballooned Another 4 Inches
Sources in the NFL have just confirmed that the head of legendary broadcaster John Madden has grown another 4 inches in diameter. Madden was again forced to throw out all of his t-shirts and buy new ones with larger neck holes.
Read full storyConnolly out until the New Year
Sunderland striker David Connolly has suffered a fresh setback in his attempt to return from injury - and is likely to need a further three months on the treatment couch.
Read full storyMillionaire LA Galaxy Fan Hires Gay Men's Chorus to Hound Beckham
LOS ANGELES (Reuterus) - Thanks to the deep pockets of LA Galaxy fan and Herbalife CEO, Michael O. Johnson, a favorite tune sung by football fans throughout the world now follows David Beckham wherever he goes in this smoggy southern California metro...
Read full storyBritney Spears WOWs MTV Award Gathering; Cures Several of Insomnia!
Hollywood, Nova Scotia - Britney Spears made her comeback official this past weekend, performing for a crowd of overrated stars and has-beens. Her performance included several new numbers, but none were as satisfying to watch as her hip-hop version o...
Read full storyGod to Allah: Let's Settle This in the Steel Cage
In an unprecedented event, for the first time in the history of mankind, God and Allah have agreed to settle their time-long differences once and for all -- in a winner-take-all, no-holds-barred, Steel Cage Match.
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