Government re-introduces trial by combat to cut prison numbers

Funny story: Government re-introduces trial by combat to cut prison numbers

In an effort to reduce the prison population, the Government will pass legislation bringing back the Medieval practice of "trial by combat".

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Spying fruit flies developed

Funny story: Spying fruit flies developed

Shortly after the University of Tokyo announced it had created remote-controlled cockroaches in 1997, the Hollywood blockbuster film "Fifth Element" depi...

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Big stone heads found on mountain top

Funny story: Big stone heads found on mountain top

Archaeologists investigating a lost civilisation have uncovered four big stone heads on a mountain top in a land mass thousands of miles west of England.

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Ron Paul Ads Visible From Space

Funny story: Ron Paul Ads Visible From Space

5 Sep 07, NEW YORK CITY, NY, USNA-- Manhattan Meetup #50 has won a campaign contest for most acres covered by Ron Paul signage. Members created a "GOOGLE RON...

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Have Aliens Taken Over our Pubs?

Funny story: Have Aliens Taken Over our Pubs?

Lukewarm speculation is gathering momentum amongst the hospitality industry as to the nature of a new pub phenomenon - the 'silent drinker'. Landlords and bar staff across the country are increasingly reporting on this astonishing development...

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Grand jury subpoenas for Doolittle aides over being in bed with Abramoff

Funny story: Grand jury subpoenas for Doolittle aides over being in bed with Abramoff

Washington - (Associated Mess): The Labor Day week has started off badly for House of representatives Appropriations Committee former member John Doolittle,...

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Cub Scout Passenger found not guilty

Funny story: Cub Scout Passenger found not guilty

A pretty STUDENT, who also works with disabled children, who was prosecuted for assaulting a train inspector on a train by whacking him in the goolies with her flip-flops walked free from court today with an absolute discharge.

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Belgian prosecutors slam Scientology as a criminal organization

Funny story: Belgian prosecutors slam Scientology as a criminal organization

Brussels, Belgium - (Ass Mess): BAD luck Tom Cruise, John Revolta, etc. A top Belgian prosecutor, Jean-Claude Van Espen, has recommended today that the American-based Church of Scientology is indicted for fraud and extortion and that the entire org...

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Bush Body Double Fools Many in Iraq

Funny story: Bush Body Double Fools Many in Iraq

Bagdad, Iraq (IP) - American troops and security forces had taken their positions as the American military jet rolled to a stop on the main runway of Baghdad's airport.

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Dad's no queer!

Funny story: Dad's no queer!

Washington - (Ass Mess) "No way is our dad queer!" Senator Larry Craig's children said today after telling press reporters that they "questioned him explicitly" about what exactly it is that men do in airport bathrooms, other...

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Ron Paul Is The Greatest Candidate Evar!!!11!!eleventyone!!!

Funny story: Ron Paul Is The Greatest Candidate Evar!!!11!!eleventyone!!!

DAYTON, OH (AP Newsliar) -- This "The Spoof" reporter would like to publicly proclaim that Ron Paul is the greatest candidate who ever lived. Even better than Ronald Reagan. Way, way better than those hacks Romney and Giuliani.

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Gorillas Get Revenge in Rwanda

Funny story: Gorillas Get Revenge in Rwanda

Rwanda, Africa (IP) - Gorillas in Rwanda took revenge against poachers in the dark jungles of Rwanda last night.

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Paris Hilton connection amid JFK Jr/Payne Stewart fears over Steve Fossett

Funny story: Paris Hilton connection amid JFK Jr/Payne Stewart fears over Steve Fossett

Nevada - (Ass Mess) Fears are mounting of a JFK Junior/ Payne Stewart-type of plane vanishing act for US adventurer Steve Fossett.

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Roddick Refuses To Get Out Of Bed for Federer Clash

Funny story: Roddick Refuses To Get Out Of Bed for Federer Clash

American tennis star Andy Roddick has refused to get out of bed for his US Open quarter final clash with Roger Federer preferring to 'lie in, order pizza and watch some classic episodes of The Beverly Hillbillies in a white flag move unprecedented i...

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Italians plan pasta boycott for one day; Pope evacuates Vatican City; Police placed on tactical alert as country braces for violence

Funny story: Italians plan pasta boycott for one day; Pope evacuates Vatican City; Police placed on tactical alert as country braces for violence

Rome, Italy - As word of the planned boycott of pasta, because the rising cost of the county's food staple spreads throughout the country, so does widespread panic. It is rumored that the Pope has already left the country advising priest and nuns...

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Tony Blair Haunts the Commons

Funny story: Tony Blair Haunts the Commons

An ominous crow seen flying around the house of commons in the last few weeks is thought to be the animal form of former PM Tony Blair.

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Microsoft tycoon breeds worlds first chicken-man

Funny story: Microsoft tycoon breeds worlds first chicken-man

Multi-billionaire Microsoft chairman Bill Gates and his wife Melinda have successfully bred the first chicken-man.

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Donald Rumsfeld crushes Rene Zellweger

Funny story: Donald Rumsfeld crushes Rene Zellweger

Former White House loon Donald Rumsfeld has admitted to trying to crush "Jerry Maguire" actress Rene Zellweger, between a bookcase and wall.

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Arrested Developments Portia de Rossi fits sack of flour in her mouth

Funny story: Arrested Developments Portia de Rossi fits sack of flour in her mouth

Arrested Development's Portia de Rossi has stuffed her mouth with 18oz of self-raising flour, according to friend, country singer Lyle Lovitt.

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Expect a Federer walk-over in Roddick match

Funny story: Expect a Federer walk-over in Roddick match

Flushing Meadows - (Ass Mess): Bookmakers are going crazy offering odds of 1-5 on number one seed Roger Federrer wiping the floor with Andy Roddick in Wednesday's quarter-finals of the US Open at Flushing Meadows.

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Illegal Immigrant Shoots English Speaking Machine

Funny story: Illegal Immigrant Shoots English Speaking Machine

An illegal immigrant from Mexico today shot and killed a machine at the self-service checkout stand at a local Home Depot, a large home improvement supplies store, in Los Angeles.

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Michael Moore documentary tackles Michael Moore documentaries

Funny story: Michael Moore documentary tackles Michael Moore documentaries

Swashbuckling documentarian Michael Moore's latest project sees the fat man taking on the might of himself.

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California - Germany in Global Warming Partnership create Green Club

Funny story: California - Germany in Global Warming Partnership create Green Club

PRBS Newswire - Sacramento - Germany is taking the fight on Global Warming to California. The Germafornia plan will reduce Global Warming Emmisions World Wide.

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Party animal pussy

Funny story: Party animal pussy

Sydney, Austalia - (Ass Mess): Following earlier reports this week that pussy is high up on Australians' menu preferences these days a Sydney newspaper has featured a story about a cocaine-crazed pussy that survived its owners' long lost week...

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Bush disbanded Iraqi army on Rove astrologer's advice

Funny story: Bush disbanded Iraqi army on Rove astrologer's advice

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): A tarot reading from Karl Rove's personal astrologer and psychic counselor resulted in the Iraqi army, navy, air force and police service being disbanded according to a new book published this week.

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England Look Forward To Missing Lampard

Funny story: England Look Forward To Missing Lampard

England manager Steve McClaren can look forward to his team's Saturday kick-off against Israel with renewed optimism following the news that Chelsea midfielder Frank Lamp-post is...

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Lescott And Heskey Called Up As McClaren Gets Desperate

Funny story: Lescott And Heskey Called Up As McClaren Gets Desperate

England manager Steve McClaren hit rock bottom today when, faced with various injury crises, he called up none other than two ex-TV advertising stars, the Everton defender Joleon Lescott and much-travelled Wigan stri...

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Hurricane Felix Weakened by Motorized Iceberg

Funny story: Hurricane Felix Weakened by Motorized Iceberg

Panama Canal, Panama (IP) Hurricane Felix was weakened by icebergs towed in front of its path by Panamanian scientists working aboard Panamanian navy ships borrowed from the military.

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Britney Spears to Fly Naked On Next Shuttle

Funny story: Britney Spears to Fly Naked On Next Shuttle

Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - NASA has been complaining for years about the lack of interest today's youth seems to show in the space program. NASA officials have finally come up with a solution to that problem.

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Harry Potter - Dobbie the house elf is based on President Putin

Funny story: Harry Potter - Dobbie the house elf is based on President Putin

The Kemlin has accused the British government and film industry of basing the character of Dobbie the house elf in the Harry Potter films on President Putin.

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Bollywood Device Becomes New Transportation Mode

Funny story: Bollywood Device Becomes New Transportation Mode

New Delco, India (IP) - A blimp like device used in a recent Bollywood movie has gone into full scale production and has become the latest craze in transportation.

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Bizare Happenings

Funny story: Bizare Happenings

People awoke in Europe today to find their lives turned upside down. Reports Jim Wilson, from the Centre for the Study of Europe (CSE). To enhance the boundaries of the EU edict no 12356/07 was initiated from Brussels at midnight CET today. This has...

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Meteor Creates Near Riot Conditions

Funny story: Meteor Creates Near Riot Conditions

Lake Okeechobee, Florida (IP) - The giant meteor that bounced off of Lake Okeechobee yesterday has created social chaos along the southern shores of the lake. The meteor came in at a 10% angle and bounced off of the lake and headed back into space.

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American Airlines Bringing Back Old Prop Planes, Sans Cabin Pressure!

Funny story: American Airlines Bringing Back Old Prop Planes, Sans Cabin Pressure!

St. Louis - American Airlines announced today it is cutting orders with Boeing and purchasing 50 moth balled relics stored in the Mohabi desert. They will spend $10,000 per plane to have them shipped on a container ship to China, where they will be r...

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The Fonz - not really the epitome of Cool

Funny story: The Fonz - not really the epitome of Cool

Shock news has reached us that Arthur 'The Fonz' Fonzerelli from 1950's documentary 'Happy Days' really was not as cool or as dangerous as anybody thought.

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New series of French and Saunders leads BBC drama season

Funny story: New series of French and Saunders leads BBC drama season

The BBC kicks off its autumn drama season with a new series starring Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.

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'Mou' on the move?

Funny story: 'Mou' on the move?

Reports coming in from Anfield suggest that one of the names vying to replace the purportedly outbound Pako Ayestaran as Rafa Benitez' Assistant Manager is Jose Mourinho.

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Italian divers attempt to live underwater for two weeks as part of a new test pilot witness protection program

Funny story: Italian divers attempt to live underwater for two weeks as part of a new test pilot witness protection program

Rome, Italy - Somewhere under the Sea, 15 meters beneath the surface of the water off the island of Ponza near Rome, six very brave men in diving bells hope to realize their mutual dream come true: to live long enough to see tomorrow, oblivious to th...

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Christ returns to Earth; Christians crucify Him again

Funny story: Christ returns to Earth; Christians crucify Him again

WASHINGTON D.C.: The long-awaited Second Coming of Christ occured last week and went largely unnoticed. This is apparently because it ended much as the First Coming did: with the arrest, torture and execution of Christ.

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Fred Dalton Thompson Gives Mount Rushmore a Makeover

Funny story: Fred Dalton Thompson Gives Mount Rushmore a Makeover

The granite sculptures of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota will soon have company.

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A Wiccan Is a Winner

Funny story: A Wiccan Is a Winner

Phones, fax lines, and websites at Wiccan headquarters around the globe have been buzzing with frantic demands for information.

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Meteor Bounces Off of Lake Okeechobee

Funny story: Meteor Bounces Off of Lake Okeechobee

Lake Okeechobee, Florida (IP) - A large meteor travelled through the atmosphere at a 10 degree angle, hit the suface of Lake Okeechobee, and continued back into space.

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Winston Churchill & FDR will campaign for Democrat Nominee for President

Funny story: Winston Churchill & FDR will campaign for Democrat Nominee for President

Good news - Clones of FDR and Winston Churchill will campaign for the Democrat Nominee for President after the Convention.

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