Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

image for Anna Nicole Smith's ghost haunts Oscar Wyatt Jr's Oil-for-Fraud trial
Anna Nicole Smith: just no getting away from her even in this Oil-for-Fraud trial of Oscar Wyatt

New York - (Ass Mess): The ghost of Playboy centerfold model Anna Nicole Smith has come back to haunt one of her ex-husband's former business partners, Oscar Wyatt Jr, whose New York trial in the Saddam Hussain Oil-For-Fraud conspiracy has opened today.

The 83 year old Texan oilman is accused of conspiracy to pay millions of dollars in baksheesh backhanders to Saddam Hussein's regime in exchange for lucrative oil contracts.

His activities have been described as a role model for Prince Bandar, the former Saudi ambassador to the US who was secretly paid over £1.2 billion by the British taxpayer to secure the BAE £40 billion oil-for-arms Al-Yammamah deal.

New York prosecutors say that Wyatt, the founder and chairman of Texan energy company The Coastal Corporation first learned his craft when Anna Nicole Smith's ex-husband J Howard Marshall II joined the Coastal board as a director back in 1992.

Wyatt is accused of secretly obtaining oil from Iraq in the 1990s by schmoozing Iraqi officials to evade sanctions.

At that time Saddam Hussain was militarily and politically isolated after his disastrous foray into Kuwait led to the UN gelding of his manhood.

But UN sanctions didn't mean a thing to Wyatt according to the prosecutors in New York today who said they presented 'a mere inconvenience' to his business acument.

Wyatt faces up to 60 years in the slammer for 'conspiring with others to gain favoured status for oil contracts' via the provision of finance and equipment to the former Iraqi dictator.

Also of note is the mysterious wealth of his son Steve Wyatt who famously shagged Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York while her so-called husband Prince Andrew was ostensibly employed as a fighter pilot for the RAF during the Gulf War.

Ferguson's own meteoric rise to sudden wealth has also been attributed not to the US Weight Watchers promos that have brought in a million or two but to her connections to the Wyatt family's Saddam riches.

Assistant US attorney Stephen Miller said at the Wyatt trial today:

"We're gonna nail this Corrupt Bastard and we're gonna nmail him goo and proper!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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